All play and no work !!

Mom says i've got a job. But i still feel that i'm going to some one-month certificate course, at the end of which i'll be given a certificate, and a whole month's vacation. Of course, the transition from a college guy who went to classes when he was free, who arranged his own dates for internal exams, who regarded every visit to the canteen as a potential date opportunity, to someone working under the mercy of someone else, takes a lot of time.

I think i was on time to work, only first day. Ever since, things have gotten only worse. Of course, the register proudly displays a sincere 9-30am entry time everyday. The terms and guidelines of the company did not state which clock's time i'm supposed to follow. First thing i do as i check in is, throw smiles to my colleagues ... and then go on to explain why their life sucks. Then i grab onto some chai-biskoot.

One weird thing at work is, everyone's so involved in what they do. How can this be ? When we used to write records in college, we often gossiped so much ... about how Katrina looks stunning in a red outfit ... about why UN aid is making poor people lazy ... about Google services and their drawbacks - literally everything. But work was different. People just work. No small talk. Things had to change ... and to change a system, you need to change yourselves first. That, i did. Changed into this blabber-mouth, and kept everyone busy, talking. Perhaps my boss thinks i'm some cameo trying to mess up his employees' minds. But who cares ?

After all that, I work. Honestly. Until the clock comes to 12-55pm. No not lunch time yet, 1pm is supposed to be the official lunch-time. But i fly off home five minutes earlier. And i come back ten minutes late. As usual, the register entries are perfect. Out time - 1pm. In time - 2pm.

After some chatting again, i resume work. Then, i start falling asleep. There have been times when i have slumped over the computer ... and almost fell asleep. Of course, the coffee keeps me awake. And lots of biscuits to eat ... they come in plenty of varieties ... sometimes the manager blesses us with a couple of sweets too. As the clock strikes 5 (why the hell do they have clocks in offices ?) ... my frustration starts. I still have to put 90 minutes ... the clock stops after 5pm ... it gets horrible. I play Minesweeper, Solitaire and Hearts. There's also RoadRash, Commandos 2 and NFS 2 on my system, but i haven't played 'em yet. Internet's blocked, or else i'd have downloaded a couple of movies.

By the time its 6-30pm ... i would have lost weight. I look at the clock, the clock looks at me. And finally its 6-25pm. Yeah, i leave five minutes earlier. The register ... perfect ! Poor colleagues of mine still work, probably till 7pm ... to clear all their backlogs ... atleast i dont have to think about that this month. I have done much worse things. Saturday's a full day ... but i've taken special permission for half-a-day ... i waste toilet paper ... i've installed a few flash games on my comp ... i keep changing wallpapers everyday ... next month, i'm planning to work from home. If work was this fun, i wouldn't have bothered studying !!

When the phone rang...

I was threatened to write this post. There is no iota of doubt in this ... I type on the keyboard with a Jerifo 941 F 9mm gun pressed against my temporal lobes. Writing this post meant, dusting off some of my old mischievous moments, and re-living those horrible experiences again.

This was in school ok, I was in 10th. We used to have trouble in gender-identification in our class, as most girls were too loud and tom-boyish. But of course, we found solace in the neighboring bunch of juniors ... the 9 'A' class ... they hosted some of the cutest girls of our school ... they were a complete package ... smart ... stunning to look ... and the next-door-girl feel. Stealing their phone numbers used to be our extra-curricular activity, and a lot of bribing, threatening, and peeping was involved in the process.

After some really hard work and smart-thinking ... my friends smuggled the number of a girl whom we shall call "A" ... since I was the only one who boasted of a phone which I could use to my wish and will (long phone bills not being such a major issue at home) ... the number was given to me ... to try my luck ... !!

There's this other girl ... you know, the kinda girl whom every guy at school wants to seduce ... she's on Orkut, and her name begins with "N" ... so you can still try your luck ... so, we had tried calling this girl too, but 10 out of 10 times, her mom picked up the call, and conversations went like this:

Me: Hello
N's mom: Hello
Me: May I speak to "N" ?
N's mom: Why ?
Me: Huh ?
N's mom: Why ?

That's it !! And i was pretty damn sure my conversation with "A" would just be the same. Or so I thought. I had to use a fake name ... obviously !! I made-do with "Rahul". Why Rahul ? That was a trendy name ... Rahul was there in Dil Toh Pagal Hai ... Rahul was there in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai ... Rahul meant 'cool'. And surprise surprise, "A" fell for it. I asked whether she'd like to be friends, and she says "Yes". It felt for a moment, that someone punched me on my ears. Was this really happening ? Oh, yes it was. And there began our conversations ... talked about a whole lot of rubbish ... "A" began liking Rahul's character, but was she liking me ?

She realized that "Rahul" was a fake name ... who wouldn't ... especially after you call home, ask for Rahul, and you hear "Wrong Number". I knew my demise was nearing ... yet I tried to hang on ... and then came the fateful day ... Valentine's !! Valentine's Day would have been just any other day ... I would have had a bad-hair-day ... my shoes would become muddy for all the football i play ... i would forget to brush my teeth that evening, again ... Math would get more puzzling ... and I would sleep after I watch Dexter's Lab ... bottom-line, Valentine's involved nothing pertaining to what it was meant to be !! But this Valentine's was going to be different...

Got a call around 4 in the evening - sweet voice ... caller asks "Will you be my Valentine ?" Ok i'm used to getting calls from banks, from insurance companies, from friends who have a problem with Pythagoras theorem, but not this. I lived a very simple life, and this was not meant to happen. I borrowed some time to decide ... and kept the phone. 2 minutes later, another call ... another name ... same voice ... same question. And then, the phone kept ringing. Johnny Depp wouldn't have received as many calls as I did that day. Dad gave me such looks ... I was sure another call, and I'L have to sleep on the foot-path that night.

Sometime late evening, when I wasn't at home, this girl calls again. Talks to my mom, asks a few questions, confirms my identity ... and the game's over. I'm caught. I dunno what made "A" give my number to her classmates, I was pestered with phone calls that evening, but in the end ... my secret identity was exposed. "A" remained cool ... she wasn't going to the police station ... but that put an end to our phone-call business ... school was over ... I never saw her again ... "A" mails me once in a while ... i miss everything of school now ... i'm hoping "A" has forgiven me for that stupidity ... but i still feel ... if mom hadn't wrecked my carefully built sand castle ... "A" and me would have been married ... and she'd be giving birth to her 11th kid ... we'd have 5 sons and 6 daughters ... and i would name my last daughter in the memory of "N" ... the girl with whom my phone conversations never started !!

I'm guessing the gun's off my head now ... am glad its out of my system ... i wouldn't want "A" to bear this grudge over me about what I did ... and run me over with her Scooty Pep or whatever ... so Miss. "A" ... happy now ?

Men at work...

No praying to God ... no falling to parents' feet ... no vermilion on forehead ... I tried to look as handsome as possible (believe me, its very difficult) ... I walked to 'Cosmic Strands' ... my first day at work

Venue: Office; Status: Office closed. What the hell ? Have they shifted for the sole reason that I joined their group ? My colleagues slowly began coming, at around 9-30am. I casually walked inside ... tea was served ... I guess sugar is generally not used in offices ... i gulped down the hot water ... Oh i mean tea ... looked around ... saw 2 females ... Cynthia, the chubby girl, and Madhura, the one who was happy to know that I was a Kannadiga !! After a small chat with them, I was asked to move to the seminar hall. A lecture. Yawn !!!!

The director happened to be a good teacher. He made the talk as interesting as possible. The other people who were newbies consisted of a DehraDun girl, a certain Ritu and a certain Raj. Raj had the eyes of Sanjay Dutt ... so not wanting to take chances with him on the first day, I decided to talk to Ritu. Seeing Ritu and Raj talk to each other, I innocently asked "Do you people know each other?" "Yeah" Ritu replied, "Raj is my husband". End of chatting !!

If that wasn't enough ... I had to blabber again ... "Oh, when is this man sending us for lunch?" Ritu replied, with a smirk "That man, is my father". So, the daughter and son-in-law of the manager are here, with me, and I am supposed to learn with them. Great start Suhas, great start !!

I came home for lunch ... then back ... a little more lecture ... a CS Handbook was given ... the manager ... Ganesh Bhatt i think ... asks me to listen to songs when working, to reduce the work-pressure. I registered this in my mind ... tomorrow I carry 2 big speakers and a sub-woofer, and will blast a Dard-E-Disco song full volume !!

Work went on till 6-30pm ... was so hungry i could eat the manager's entire family ... rushed home ... end of work day 1 ... felt real tired ... but also felt like a grown up !! To all those girls who keep asking me to grow up ... how is it ?

And my choice is ... (?)

Charlie has his 3 angels. There's the stunning Lucy Liu, the charming Cameron Diaz, and the cute Drew Barrymore. But have you heard of Suhas' angels ? You haven't ? Great ... I can now post this article with full fanfare.

Earlier, I mean when I started watching Hindi movies ... I was interested in the story ... not the heroines ... Madhuri smiled too much and that freaked me out ... Kajol looked like she was just emerging from a charcoal factory ... Manisha Koirala's cholesterol content bounced up and down ... Raveena Tandon was too male(ish) ... Sonali Bendre was taken (by my brother, and I didn't want to have any conflicts with him as he would be sponsoring my education) ... and the rest of them weren't just consistent enough.

But then came Sanjay Leela Bhansali ... no he's not a heroine ... but he brought Aishwarya Rai ... I know she existed much before ... but the moment I saw her in 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam' ... I fell flat ... unconscious ... for 3 whole weeks ... doctors' had said I wouldn't make it. I had gone bonkers ... she was perfect for me ... of course I'd have to convince her not to cook fish at home, but it was clear ... her name was about to become Aishwarya Suhas. But things failed to remain the same ... as her popularity grew ... her texture changed ... she became more plastic ... artificial ... her talk, her walk, her personality ... was so hypocritical. She looked atrocious at the Cannes Film Festival ... that blew the lid off me ... I was back into being 'single' again !!

There was a lull for sometime ... models, beauty pageants rushed into the movie industry like a flock of sheep ... they all looked so stupid ... Sameera Reddy was being talked about always ... she's the size of a hippo I have in my backyard ... Lara Dutta has nothing apart from her smile ... Tanushree Dutta is so ugly-looking ... Hema Malini is more gorgeous than Esha ... Soha Ali Khan is creepy lookin ... Bipasha's voice is like that of Amitabh's ... all crap !

But somewhere ... in 3 different places ... were born ... 3 angels ... Suhas' angels ... and they took my life by storm ... stole my sleep ... and blinded my eyes ... the Miss World Priyanka Chopra who stunned me in Bluffmaster ... the girl from London ... someone who swept me off like the hurricane Katrina ... she's Katrina Kaif ... and the good ol' Bangalore Beauty ... Deepika ... i'm watching Om Shanti Om 7 times, putting my life in peril, just to keep her happy !!

Now Deepika is 21 yrs ... Katrina is 23 ... Priyanka is around 26. My parents don't mind ... as long as I marry a 'girl' ... but I'm real confused.

Ok I do know Charlie doesn't marry his angels ... but hello ... I'm no Charlie ... Charlie is embarrassed to even show his face !!

If all 3 of you girls are reading this blog ... I'm sorry but am real confused ... I would have married all 3 of you ... but I cant have violence at home ... but until I decide ... don't ya dare play around. Especially you Deepika ... MS Dhoni is from a loser team ... and he's cut is hair to impress you ... pathetic fella ... and Katrina ... Salman is gonna go to jail, that's for sure ... and he's crossed 40 ... ol' man he is !!

And dad ... if you are reading this ... i'm gonna gift U a DVD of 'Pretty Woman' which comes with a free Julia Roberts poster ... so please don't tell mom about all this (this'll surely work !)

Me ... growing younger

This October 23rd, I turned 21. Actually speaking, I turned 21 two years back, but I have this strange belief that I have stopped growing beyond 21 (voluntarily or involuntarily I can't say). I selected 21 as its the legal marriage age, and I am really tired of explaining this fact to every person who does not forget to mention my age as soon as he/she wishes me.

Either a birthday celebration is a 'typical one' like an early morning head-bath, a visit to a nearby temple, wearing a set of new trousers and a bright full sleeved shirt, distributing sweets, and making a vow to get transformed that very day to a perfect individual. Or else, its 'the better way' involving taking friends or family out to a posh restaurant, eating like a hog, doing something un-conventional like a cool outing, go-karting, whatever. Mine wasn't both. It was more of a 'trend-setting' style of celebration. Going to the garage to get my bike serviced.

Yeah ... I was gonna have a great birthday. I dropped off my bike at Infantry Road, decided to walk till Indian Exress, and catch a bus. The walk proved a bit tiring, not to mention my desperate tries to foil the attempts of the BMTC buses to run over me. Then, came the long wait for the bus. When it finally came, and I got in, I realised I had taken the wrong bus. He dropped me off near TV Tower, I had to walk to the bus stop again. Another long wait. And then comes this bus, where the driver is also a conductor. I quarrel with him for sometime, as he refuses to give me a ticket, and I really wanted to unravel my fight for social justice on my birth-day. Another long walk back home, and my legs were killing.

A short nap. Come evening, and come rains. Lots. I was under house-arrest. Nothing to do, I just opened my GRE text, and gulped a few words. Nothing registered. Watched TV for sometime. Then watched a Kannada movie - 'Duniya', loved it !!

I forgot to mention, all day, all afternoon, all evening, all night, I kept getting phone calls from friends and cousins. It was too too much this year. I was literally tired of receiving calls. On the contrary, few of my close friends forgot to even wish me. And one of my real close friend, first asked whether it was really my b'day that day, and then went on to wish me. Crap birthday !!


24th October, Venue - Home

Usual day, got up late, did all the usual stuff, had lunch, decided to read a couple of old letters I had written to sister-in-law. Heard a knock-knock. Who's there ? As I rub my eyes in amazement, I see a cousin and 2 of my younger brothers, all clean shaven, handsome, and grinning. There was a look of 'mischief' in their faces. Thinking this to be a trap, I maintained a bit of distance, but welcomed all home. They hand me over a big cover. What did it contain ? Sewage water that would splatter my face the moment I opened it ? I slowly peeped into it.

There was a greeting-card. It was a perfect birthday card. And a big big handwritten letter. I read it, I read it again and again. It was so so touching. Never realized my little brothers and sisters liked me so much. Every past experience, every memorable event, moments of fun, mischief, joy, laughter, adventure, grief ... was recalled. The whole letter was a journey back into the past. If I was a girl (which mom thinks I am), I would have really cried. I read the letter almost 8 times that day.

And then came the gift. A huge book of Calvin Hobbes collection. My dream possession. A book I was dying to have. A book that I hugged in every book store, or a book fair, but kept it back, as it was way too expensive, the book was all mine. They not only gave me a perfect card, not only wrote the perfect letter, but also found a perfect gift. And this was not one person's doing. The whole team of all my cousins, brothers, sisters teamed up, and contributed.

If this wasn't enough, my cousin Vikki also gave us a big treat for getting a job. To Cafe Coffee Day we went, ate a couple of veg burgers, somethin called a Submarine, Green Apple and Strawberry Sodas, came home and gobbled up a few Gulab Jamoons ... phew !!

Well, if those guys are reading this, I think you are just amazing. You made my birthday one of my favorite ones, because I realized how much you all love me. I have decided I shall write about everyone of them in this blog, how much they mean to me, and how they make my life complete (miserable sometimes ... no denying that ... they are the biggest brats too) I'm sure lucky to have all these bunch of people around, I realized they ain't just blood-relatives, they are also my really wonderful friends !!

I'm all spiced up !!

17th is a big day for me. And for Vodafone too. My Hutch 777 plan of 1-year validity dies a sudden brutal death ... and I would be left ... networkless ... sad ... painful ... and hungry. But there's good news too ... I jump to Spice ... Spice hai to life hai ... aur Priyanka Chopra mera wife hai (Pathetic ain't i ?)

So as Vodafone bids goodbye to Hutch ... I bid goodbye to Vodafone ... with still no good offers ... and costly plans ... I had no other choice ... brother thinks I dont deserve Airtel ... which by the way has awesome network all over Karnataka ...

But my Nokia 1100 is seriously ill ... it keeps switching off ... anyone wanna exchange your Nokia N95 for my cell ? Right now, its too early to say ... its been kept under observation ... but my phone is showing positive improvement ... its not given me problems from yesterday ... lets hope for the best !!

And as for my number ... just call and ask :-)

My one-liners.....

What’s the one line I’d love to tell all these people? Here it goes...

To dad: “If you hadn’t married mom, where would I be?”

To mom: “If you knew dad was stingy before, would you still marry him?”

To brother: “I’ve managed with my cell-phone for 10 months with a starting balance of just 777 rupees. Don’t you think I’m the best brother in the world?”

To sister-in-law: “Would you please tie this rakhi on your husband’s arm?”

To nephew: “Do you think the Indian Government has to cut down taxes for imported baby diapers?”

To my friends: “If you are my friends, who need enemies?”

To Shahrukh: “You are the king” (respecting the sentiments of all SRK fans)

To Deepika Padukone: “Have we met before?” “I lost my phone number, can I have yours?” “Will you marry me?”

To every BT student: “There is plenty of scope in Biotechnology, but absolutely no job offers”

To committed girls: “You have no idea what you have missed. You just need to look better”

To eligible bachelors: “Back off. I was here first”

Aishwarya Rai: “My PU results toppled because of you”

Sanjay Dutt: “What the heck you doing here. Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?”

Salman Khan: “Ha! Katrina Kaif’s all mine now”

Indian cricket team: Nothing. I don’t talk to losers

You: “Thanks for reading this. Next time, pay me in cash”

Myself: “Shut this off. Its 1am. Its time to watch T.V”

Me and my idiot box

25 things I never missing watching on T.V:

• Art Attack on Disnep TV
• Manthana on ETV Kannada – its awesome !!
• All the afternoon mega-serials, they are more important to me than oxygen !!
• U2 anchors – all museum pieces !!
• tv9 breaking news – though none of them are !!
• Ripley’s believe it or not on AXN
• Max X on AXN – its so gross, and I love it !!
• Dexter’s Laboratory on Cartoon Network
• M.A.D on POGO
• Tiny T.V on POGO
• Koffee with Karan on Star World
• F.R.I.E.N.D.S on Star World
• The movie ‘Nayak’ on Sony - it comes twice every week
• Movie trailers on Sony Pix
• Bond films on Star Movies - the old ones, remember Sean Connery?
• English movies on Tamil channels
• Celebrity news on VH1 – ain’t they so interesting?
• David Attenborough shows on Animal Planet – his voice is magic
• Osama bin Laden news on CNN
• Shilpa Shetty gossip on Headlines Today
• Maria Sharapova on Star sports (I mean the tennis, not her)
• MTV Roadies, whenever they are on air
• Orbit-white commercials
• Mungaru Male songs on Suvarna
• The anchor Mithali Mukherjee on CNBC (just her, not the channel)

Life @ T.I.M.E

I go to this place in Malleshwaram called T.I.M.E for my GRE classes

It stands for Triumphant Institute of something ... which I discovered only after 1 month of attending classes

A bunch of about 25-30 studious people are my batch-mates

One is from RVCE who's so dumb, he searches for a gents' toilet in Malleshwaram Ladies Association College (our center), and is so intelligent, he answers 30 math questions in 15 minutes

There's this girl, god knows from where, she draws margins, underlines, uses different coloured pens, apparently there is one such person in every class of the world

There's this girl from RT Nagar, same place as me, but somehow that doesn't seem to interest her, and the back-seat of my bike remains empty throughout the day

There's this Gujrati who somehow finds it convenient to use expletives as and when possible. Perhaps he's polishing his vocabulary. The other day he called a lecturer 'a bastard' for giving tough passages

There are these bunch of girls who never make their existence felt

Hardly 3-4 in class know that I exist., which is obvious coz I miss out every other class

In Vocabulary, we have reached the letter "L", and I think I'll kill myself by the time we finish

I avoid Math classes. The more I run away from it, the more it chases me

My exam's on Nov 13th, pray for me please

A writer's block

That's true. I'm having a writer's block. Writer's block is the state where a writer loses out on ideas / creativity to the point where further writing is difficult. Perhaps due to excessive blogging, or perhaps due to my already hectic schedules, I am unable to write anything at all. So, please do not watch this space for a long long time (as if you watch it regularly). No more posts, no more nothing. Good Bye !!

Where's time...

Have you ever felt that your entire life was a dream, and when you wake up, you feel you have lost total track of time ? I don't know about the first part, but I have trouble with the second part. I lose track of date and time. I can't distinguish Saturdays from Sundays, a classic example of what excess holidays can do to you.

So, I'm waiting for my little brother to visit me on Saturday, when actually I have called him on Sunday. I send 'Good Night' messages at unearthly hours of the night (like 01:00 am). Valentine's Day seems months away. I feel like its been a year since I have seen my nephew. I feel like a school kid although I would have to register for Naukri.com in a few months.

School life was much different. We had to write dates everyday in the margins of our notebooks. Life was so much organized then. We actually knew what we were doing. Now, life just seems like a rush-hour traffic, if you are slow, you will be stuck in the signal forever.

So, please accept my humble apologies if you receive messages during mid-nights even after the dogs have slept. I have calendars and clocks stuck all over the house. I am improving.

black Mail

I really do post a lot of stuff that happens in and around our family. People would rather hear about Shilpa Shetty and her 'big brother', but who would want to read about me and my big brother ? Surprisingly, everyone does. When I talk about how my brother uses me as an exhaust pipe substitute for his car, everyone's interested. Not that they want to help me out, sue my brother, and get me compensation. They are just amused. My sad stories amuse people, that's the way society works today.

I never realized my potential. But I soon realized that I had a weapon. Its called 'Blogger'. This could work like magic. Here's how conversations would happen at home.

To brother: Pay me a fat pocket money or else I blog terrible stuff against you.

To dad: Get off the computer, or else I'll blog about how much money you have stuffed in the bank.

To mom: Make Pooris today, or else I blog a list of the mega-serials you watch.

I'm thinkin of buying some land near Devanahalli, with all the money I am gonna get from my brother. I'll ask dad to buy me a laptop, and mom shall prepare Paani puris everyday. Call it 'blackmail', or whatever you will, every dog has his day, and mine has just begun !!

Time - pass

Although my father thinks otherwise, I have successfully completed 3 semesters of my post graduation. I deserve some time off studies, so our college decided to give a vacation of 40 days. Lots of my friends and cousins, (who by the way are busy with work and college) are pretty jealous, and always feel I don't deserve these many holidays.

Now who starts deciding what I do deserve ? If its my cousins, they'd probably want to see me locked up in a rusted dungeon with nothing to eat apart from mom's "Uppit" and some capsicum pieces as a sider (FYI - I hate Capsicum) !!

One question that I have always been asked, and is slowly getting very irritating is - no no, not about my marriage, that's pretty unsure (i wonder whether it will ever happen), neither about which political party i am gonna vote for (i seriously don't care, believe me, i am more worried about the latest mega-serials that are getting added into my mom's list). Its a simple question that makes me want to hit people with grenades - "How are you spending your holidays ?"

Now thats not even a question !! Holidays are the days when we are meant to be doing nothing. If we did something, they would be called "Work - days". And doing nothing is a very tough thing to do, that requires lots of dedication and focus. Ok, I admit I do some stuff. Read it here, and don't dare ask me again.

I keep track of mom's mega-serials. I know the in and out of each character, and I can predict what's gonna happen next.

I read novels. I have tried PG Wodehouse, John Grisham, Agatha Christie, RK Narayan and Robin Cook.

I clean my room. Seriously !! I have swallowed a bucketful of dust in the process.

I eat a lot. From Sankranthi left-overs to stuff I have stolen from the bakery.

I visit relatives. I make sure I stay for only one day, but I also make sure they prepare something delicious that I can carry home.

I over-sleep everyday. The thing I most love to do is tuck myself under the blanket just when my brother is leaving for office.

I blog. If I wouldn't, you would not be reading this.

I have left out a lot of stuff, ranging from washing clothes, to shopping and etc. I find 24hrs too less, my body would rather sleep for a couple more hours.

So this is what I do ... atleast until Feb 09 ... and then I have to start the usual program of dieting in time for Valentine's (Dad, if you are reading this, that was a joke ok) !!

Ideas of an Einstein

They say ideas flash at the weirdest of places. Who's 'they' anyway ? 'They' can be anyone - poets, scientists, artists, general public, sometimes even babies say so many things that we hardly pay any attention to. Like, my little nephew told me, when I met him for the first time, that 'inflation is the major worry for this Govt. in an otherwise booming economy'. Ok ... it sounded something like that ... but thats not the point !!

You have heard of great men getting inspiration from weird sources, be it a mountain or a bird or an insect or an ocean. Few people have asked me where I get my inspiration from ... to start off, I see happy people out there ... people with good jobs ... lots of money ... a loving wife ... cute kids ... theirs is the perfect life ... they are my inspiration ... that's how I get the encouragement to blog ... I blog ... and destroy their life ... they are less happier ... my incessant trash talk upsets their otherwise stable mind ... they fight with their wives ... they hit their kids ... they lose their job ... I wonder why I haven't been arrested yet

I guess you know I used to write a bit of poetry (if I can call it one) ... I think of lines in the weirdest possible places ... the poetry I wrote when my brother came back from U.S was something that flashed to me in the loo ... literally ... lines began flowing ... like the flow of my ... never mind !!

Maths had been playing lots of games with me ... it brought equal amounts of happiness and sorrow to me ... when I was stuck in a problem ... I felt so agitated that I hit everyone around ... but the solution never struck me ... and then I slept ... looking at the rotating blades of the fan ... cutting the air at different angles ... there was so much Maths everywhere ... and suddenly the solution struck me ... at the middle of the night ... if I was complacent I would forget it again ...

A girl at tuition was hitting on me ... and I always thought she was being overly-warm ... it took a long walk back home to realize what was actually happening ...

I won the first prize for Creative writing for all 3 years in B.Sc ... and most of those ideas I got were when watching mom's mega-serials ... I write poetry for the birthdays of my cousins ... and all the ideas hit me when I watch little kids play.

Today's greatest wonders were yesterday's ideas ... that cropped up in someone's mind ... ideas don't come when you sit in a Library ... or near your study table ... they come up when you venture out ... when you see the setting sun ... the kids play ... or anything enjoyable like going to the loo !!

God...feed the hungry !

If i say I'm a voracious eater, people roll on the ground and laugh. I eat little, and that actually means 'very little'. Bottom-line, I eat to survive.

I used to eat curd-rice without any siders, without pickles. I hated most dishes. I was wondering what chaats were until I was 15. Onion pakodas and bondas were a 'no-no'. Sweets were the only reason for my survival, and I was a bit choosy about them too.

Sometimes, in life, you experience a big change, apparently for no reason, but in my case, a change for the better. Some great philosopher said, "Before you change the world' change yourself". And I did, my tongue started welcoming all those things that it never had an affinity to.

Pickles (especially mango, and lemon) became my favorite, eating curd-rice alone would make me puke, almost every dish (even rasam and sambhar) became relishing, chaat stalls were my favorite hang-outs (imagine an atmosphere after rains, with masala puris in hand), paani puris and sev puris made me go weak in the knees, onion pakodas and mangalooru bajjis made me go nuts, and sweets made me melt. I ate 9 jamoons one after the other once, but I still could eat 20 more, if it was not for my empty wallet. Call it an addiction, coz it really is one, I dare to keep on eating, coz I don't seem to bloat up anymore, the weather's way too cold, and I always find company coz nobody can resist free treats.

Of course, there are still a few things that do not fail to make my life worse - capsicum (yuck !!), potatoes and more weird-looking vegetables (the weirder they look, the more my dad feels like buying them). I had recently been to my mom's native place, and it seemed that the main purpose of visit was exploiting the mouth relishing treats in and around the town.

Zero exercise coupled with an addiction to always eat, what do you get ? Yes, a permanently pregnant feeling. I hope I don't reach that stage. The great Greek philosopher Aristotle once said in 1880 that "I feel like eating Pani puris right now !!" Ok, i'm not too sure he said that, but surely he would say it, coz I'm saying it right now. All this blogging has made me hungry, and I need to go eat some Oh-so-tasty-pani-puris right now !!

cBox

The great Mahatma Gandhi once said "A blog cannot survive without feedback" !!

Can you see a classic blue rectangular box in the sidebar at the left. Its just below my photo.

Yeah ... thats your space ... something called as a c-box ... do you want me to change the template ... the background ... have you found some post hilarious ... or boring ... anything you want to share ... just type in the message box ... fill in your name ... and you are done

Looking forward to your suggestions ...

I'm back !!

I welcome myself back ... knowing for a fact that none of you would welcome me. It feels good to be here ... good to start posting again ... good to hear you scream "Oh No !! He's back so soon"

Check your mailboxes ... they'll have only my messages in them ... I'll even haunt you during sleep ... I'll be everywhere. You know who I am right ? Its me Suhas !!

Story of a cell-phone

It takes a lot of time for me to adapt to fast-changing lifestyles. When the entire world was bidding good riddance to Britney Spears and her falling marriages...I began to realize that her songs are good to hear. I have seen people faint when they come to know that I haven't ever seen Bryan Adams...let alone hear his songs. By the time I begin to talk about Shakira and her hip-dances, she perhaps would have passed away.

I got a Nokia 1100 whereas today's kids believe that it was a cell-phone used by Neanderthal man. I never needed a cell-phone until I realized I was missing lots of classes. At college, time-sense is really bad. Lecturers schedule classes by just sending an sms to a few students before their bed-time and expect them to be present at the scheduled time next day. I would walk stylishly to college, neatly dressed, oiled and combed hair, only to realize I have missed 2 classes already.

Our Head of Department was really proud of me for not possessing a cell-phone. She said I was a very rare item, an antiquity, a museum-piece. Yeah....right !!

I explained my pitiful state to my brother and sister in law, who finally realized it was time for me to walk around with a cell-phone. "777 messages a month. Thats' huge, what would I do with so many messages?" I said looking at my Hutch Plan. The following month, I had exhausted all messages, with still 2 weeks to spare. Those were terrible 2 weeks I spent.

I get all sorts of messages. What am I expected to do when my cell wakes me up at 6 am and all I see is a good morning message which also goes onto say some crap stuff about life and goals and success and friendship. Friendship and love messages are pathetic, coz its forwarded without any changes to millions of people. "Pass this onto 12 people and you'll get good luck. Do not neglect" messages are even more disgusting, and those people who actually do it need to be shot at sight !! If our futures would be decided by sending sms(es), why are all my friends who send such messages still single (when the sms makes romantic promises) ?

But this cell-phone thing is a part and parcel of life. Its a pet. Comes with you wherever you go to. Sometimes it is too noisy, sometimes it sits silently. Glare at it for a long time and you are sure to get some message (its worked for me several times). I still do not know my cell number; I owe a lot to these phones coz it bought me a first date. Lets see what wonders this phone would do !!

Kabhi alvida na Kehna

Hold on....don't become happy so soon...my blog won't be closed...the setting sun just depicts that its gonna be darkness for a while...but the sun will rise and shine again...bringing back life on this beautiful earth !! Exams, assignments, vacations, and I need a break from blogging. So miss me for a while, and try not to cry too much !! Bye bye

Is this really me ?

Out of sheer curiosity, I typed 'Suhas' in Google Image Search, and waited for the results. The picture you see above is what I got. I know I can mess things up at times, but I do think there are better ways to describe me. Weird !!