Jai Ganesha

Yellarigu Gowri-Ganesha habbada shubhaashayagalu
Warning: Please prevent water pollution

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'Me' : The story of a loser !!

I have ceased to be this 'son' that every parent wished they had. My brother won't talk to me anymore. My friends think I'm a disgrace to the nation. My cousins have separated me from their group. My seniors think I don't deserve to live. Dogs chase me wherever I go. I'm doing something very terrible. Something for which there is no forgiveness. I'm on the verge of achieving 100% attendance at college, for the month of August.

I'm a goodish-boy. I've maintained a decent percentage always - something around 80%. But a 100% is what I am aiming for this month. This is my first. One of my dreams I've set on achieving before I leave this planet Earth forever. I do know that for a few days, life would become difficult. 100% attendance = A LOSER!! At least that's what most of them think. But with such a good percentage, I also get the liberty of bunking classes for the remaining months of this semester. There are still a couple of days left, and I hope I can make it there. To the land of the geeks, and back. That's my dream!!

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To head...with love !!

Our Head of the Biotechnology Department is weird. I shouldn't say that...but still...she's weird. From our first semester of M.Sc, she is chasing us up and down corridors, into classrooms, laboratories, vehicle parking areas with only one question - "Are you having any problems ?" The gents toilet is the only place she hasn't ventured into, I guess. She is bent on hearing out our problems, and bent on solving them immediately. Problem is, there aren't enough problems to keep her busy.

First, we complained about the deficiency of books in the library. Within a few days, we find so many huge foreign editions, that we ended up confused regarding the book to refer, and we ended up going home empty handed unable to carry those huge books. Then, a few of them sincerely complained that the library timings weren't good enough. From the next week onwords, the poor librarian had to keep his door open until 7pm, inviting the 'supposed to be' sincere students, who eventually never turned up. Everyone were safe and soundly sleeping on their beds at 4-30pm.

But our H.O.D wasn't satisfied. She wanted to hear more complaints. A few complaints against lecturers started pouring in. A few of them were removed, a few began teaching B.Sc, and the remaining few got warnings. Our H.O.D wasn't satisfied. She never will be. We complained about our windows not having curtains, our doors not having handles, we began ordering our lecturers to 'strictly' use black markers for their transparencies, finally someone even complained that our H.O.D herself ain't teaching good enough, and that she was too fast. She was thrilled. A complaint against herself. What could be more satisfying ? She solved all our problems in the blink of a second.

We began listing out more requirements - push back seats for us, cool-drink refrigerator in the laboratory that was always filled with energy drinks, swimming pool, amphitheatre, disco...that list never reached her. If it had, probably all that would have happened too.

This post is in no way meant to mock our poor little H.O.D. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. She's dynamic, a decision-maker, appreciates every little thing we do, and she cares for us. She is running around all day solving our problems, whereas we sleep over our seats, and throw complaints at her the moment she requests us to do so. When the head is in good working condition, the rest of the body is perfect too. With such a great Head of our department, what do we need to worry about.

Fine...I need to go...my brother's not buying me new clothes, and I need to go complain to our H.O.D...my dad snores a lot, need to tell that too, and our street dog isn't eating properly, maybe she can help...and the gas stove's leaking...and the water tank too...and the.....

First day - First show

I have always loved giving presentations. I mean, isn't it nice when girls walk up to you and shake your hand vigorously, after a good seminar. That has always been my source of inspiration.

But that doesn't mean I don't work hard. I do. A lot. Take for example my presentation on "Jatropha biofuel and tomorrow's energy demand". The word 'Jatropha' seems alien at times. But Jatropha plants were grown at the University of Agricultural Sciences, and that's where my research started. Hunting professors in such places ain't easy. Most of them to whom I talked to had this expression - "Huh !! Are you sure we have Jatropha plants growing in our campus ?" Finally, the search yielded some good results. I met a retired professor who had written a book on 'Jatropha', and he helped me a lot.

My next destination was GKVK. There too, it wasn't easy. Travelling from one building to the other had to be by a vehicle only. Some scientists looked at me as though I was a bug that had to be squashed immediately. Some of them were only too glad to help. With lots of guidance, lots of Googling, lots of papers referred, and lots of leaf, fruit, seed samples with me, I stood before the audience.

It was the first presentation, first day, first show. The campus director was there too, apart from the 4 to 5 lecturers. The keen interest shown by our Head of the Department when I was speaking was way too distracting for me. C'mon....how can I talk when someone is listening so intently? The talk went good, H.O.D impressed, campus director impressed, friends impressed. Girls came running. No, I did not ask anyone to go on a date with me !! I have another seminar to prepare for, and with our H.O.D predating on us all the time, it is virtually impossible.

I don't mean to brag, but it takes a lot of research, studying, and creativity to give a good presentation. When I went to collect plant samples from the Agricultural campus, it was raining damn heavily, I had a cough, and I was drenched all over. But to me, it was worth all that effort. Once I collected the samples, I ran towards home, in the bloody rain. I felt ecstatic. It was like I was running for a marathon which I had a good chance of winning. People looked at me in pity, as though I had gone nuts. To be a scientist, you have to go nuts...I'm showing all the symptoms.

Birthday parties...its different !!

I remember cutting a Birthday cake only once. My dad's stories are even worse. They hardly realised their birthdays come and go, forget cakes, that was the time where only raagi balls (raagi mudde) was predominant.

Today, birthdays are big things. Take for instance, my cousin's son's 2nd birthday - Very trendy, jazzy and loud. It was not just about cutting a cake, it was about games. Elders and kids played varieties of games together, such that, I was not able to make out who was the adult, and who was the kid. And to organize such games, there are people, but they cost your wallet. Return gifts are so awesome, I hoped I could go and grab one too. I remember, during our times (which is not 'once upon a time', lets say about 10 years back), the concept of 'return gifts' rarely existed. At the most, it involved carrying home the left-over chocolates. Today, we need to bribe these kids to attend functions, and then you need to bribe them again, to take them back home !

Dinner was delicious, and I spared nothing. Eny of Day 1.

Day 2 - another birthday. This one was totally different. No music, no games, no partying, just people getting together. Calm and a serene atmosphere. And it had its own beauty in it. Lesser people, talking, having fun.

Evening - another Birthday Party. Different again. No buffet system. More people, more noisier, more laughter, more fun. The one thing common in all 3 parties was - we enjoyed it, food was good, the parents were happy, but the 'birthday kid' was in a "Who the hell are all you people" mood !! All off a sudden, the soft cheeks of the 'little one' is targetted, literally by everybody. Today's kids have everything - electronic toys, clothes, sometimes even mobile phones. But what they don't understand is - "why the heck have all these people come, and why are they always looking at my cake ?" I guess birthdays should begun only at 2 or 3 years of age, and not before that.

My dad has certain rules about celebrating birthdays. I agree with him mostly.

Rule #1 Do not blow the candles, rather light the candles (you need to spread light, not switch it off)

Rule #2 Do not put on loud music, or else the food won't get digested

Rule #3 When cutting the cake, do not burst balloons directly on top of it, and do not mess up the cake with any non-food material

Rule #4 Do not make the b'day kid uneasy, and do not celebrate its birthday until it understands what 'a birthday' is

I have made up a fifth rule, and I guess this is the most important of all !!

Rule #5 Give return gifts to elders too, especially 21 year olds