Studying abroad !

For the first time, my blog's creating History. This post is educational. It is about how costly education abroad can be, to dissuade you from such ideas, and ergo, to lessen the competition I have to face. So, how many of those Gandhi notes would one need, to study somewhere abroad? And what documents are necessary? Here is something you can refer...

Lets say you are planning for the Fall Session that begins around August. The Fall Session is when, most admissions happen, and getting a scholarship is most likely.

You have to start planning 10-12 months in advance. Collecting documents in itself, might take you a whole month or even more. Preparation for tests like GRE takes 2-3 months. For TOEFL preparation, about 2 weeks are good enough. You need to book your GRE and TOEFL dates well in advance, September-December is the hot-season for taking these tests, and dates run out like tickets of a cricket match. For booking dates, and other details, refer http://www.ets.org

To take up GRE, you have to pay a fee of $170. For TOEFL it is $150 (Fees are subject to change). So it comes up to 6800/- and 6000/- respectively. In case you go for GRE tuitions (which is not really required), it costs you anywhere between 7,000 to 10,000 bucks.

Barrons is best for GRE and an Indian edition costs you around 300/- bucks. Kaplan is good for TOEFL iBT preparation, and it costs you around 960/- bucks. There are plenty of resources available online, make the best use of it. But don't confuse yourself referring too many books, stick to one book, but practice well.

Then there are a whole lot of documents to collect. Transcripts are most important; transcripts are nothing but registrar-attested copies of your marks cards, and your degree certificate, put inside a cover, and once again attested by the registrar to ensure genuineness. In my case, our university charged me 180/- per copy of transcript. When you order for transcripts, better take a few extra copies, as you may need them even during your Visa interview. Taking transcripts is a big tiresome adventure, especially in a university such as the Bangalore University, and believe me, you'd want to go there only once. I am applying for 5 universities, and I took 10 transcripts of B.Sc and 10 of M.Sc (5 extra for each degree). All together, they cost me about 3600/- bucks.

Banks might charge a nominal fee of 500/- to provide Bank Statements and Affidavit of Support.

Application fee of each university is generally from $0 to $60, sometimes even more. Take $50 as average. Further, since you need to send all your documents by post, it might cost your pocket 1000/- bucks per university, as courier charges. If you take the help of counsellors, they charge you around 10,000/- bucks, and help you with finalizing a list of universities, filling out applications and further follow-up.

Bottomline, keep a figure of Rs. 50,000/- as initial expenditure, the expenses required to register for the tests, and to apply for a course, in 5 universities (to be safe). Further expenses might include Visa fees (around Rs.5,000/-), shopping, flight-charges, tuition fees (which varies from university to university, from $10,000 to $30,000 per annum, sometimes even more; tuition waivers not taken into consideration), and accommodation charges (varies between on and off campus dorms). I have not reached this stage yet, so don't bother asking me.

Any specific queries, I'll surely help you ... just frequently buy me some Pani Puris, and you should have no problems.

Documents you might need to apply include the following:

S.No	Name of Document	Remarks
01	Official transcript	Registrar-attested copies of marks card and degree certificate, enclosed in a sealed registrar-attested envelope
02	Recommendation Letters	From 3 academicians where the student studied, or did a project, or worked. On letterheads, duly signed in each copy, and given in sealed covers
03	GRE and TOEFL score report	Official ETS score reporting has to be done by the student to respective Universities and Departments
04	Bank Statement (or Capability certificate)	To be given on bank-letterhead with banker seal and signature, amount to be mentioned equivalent to US$, i.e. minimum US$ 30,000 (amount varies from university to university). Original statements to be submitted in sealed covers
05	Affidavit of Support (a sponsor certificate stating that he/she will be sponsoring the student, and that they have enough financial resources to bear the tuition fee and living expenses)	Original notarized on Rs.20 non-judicial stamp paper and duly signed. Affidavit of Support has to be given by the person who has provided the Bank statement (Sponsor)
06	Statement of Purpose	Maximum of 2 pages and duly signed by the student
07	Copy of Passport	First and Last page
08	Photographs (Passport size)
09	Bio-data	Mandatory
10	Work experience certificate	If applicable
11	Project certificates and Extra curricular certificates	If any

Tying the knot...

A close friend recently got married. As I held her invitation card in hand, I seriously felt this must be some prank that all my friends suddenly had decided to play on me, who are so wonderful people wanting to see me cry every now and then. I walked inside, what looked like a marriage choultry ... but hey !! Even naming ceremonies are celebrated in such big halls these days ... and I for myself, could never believe that my friend could get married ... to me, she was the girl, who snuggles up a teddy every night before she goes to sleep. The firs thing I did when I met her was, ask her. Whether she got married that morning. 'Yes Suhas' she said. I eventually had to believe it ... nobody could spend so much money ... to play a gag on me, and make me feel stupid. In fact, I don't think it involves any expenditure at all.....

Marriage is often mentioned analogous to my name. So, my friends are getting their marital status changed. But, dad doesn't seem to seriously consider my marriage as a significant phenomenon. I have been showing every other photo to Arya proclaiming her to be his aunt ... apparently he's totally confused himself. Obviously, what could a 10-month old kiddo do when his aunt keeps changing every minute. 'Why do you want to get married?' is the next question I face. And i don't blame the people who ask me that. Their doubts are understandable. Why would somebody want to put an end to his happy life ? There are reasons...

1. A wife calls you the 'most handsome hunk' even when you have chicken-pox !!
2. She shops for your dresses, when you can take time off to chat with your girl-friend
3. I need someone to blame for my bad luck
4. I want to make those guys i see in traffic signals, sitting on their bikes alone, jealous !!
5. I feel like hitting someone right now

There you go ... I like living my life dangerously (2nd time I said it this week) ... and I said all those things that ought to provoke the feminism in every girl. At least they'll call me now, or better, give me a visit in person.

So before any of you start calling me a 'maniac', let me tell you; marriage is still out of the question. My mom thinks i'm handsome, sister-in-law shops for my dresses, i blame brother for my bad luck, i now travel in buses, and I can hit Arya anytime I want to.

Yeah ! My friend got married for sure ... I now believe it ... it just doesn't sound alright at first; someone who's hair you used to pull, is now a Mrs. Someone. But I have friends who remind me that we are grown-ups now, some remind me to grow-up, and some just pull out an occasional white hair, and I realize it myself.

Beowulf

In a legendary time of heroes, the mighty warrior Beowulf battles the demon Grendel and incurs the hellish wrath of the beast’s ruthlessly seductive mother. Their epic clash forges the timeless legend of Beowulf.

Groundbreaking director Robert Zemeckis offers a unique vision of the Beowulf saga in a way that it has never been told before. “Beowulf” stars RAY WINSTONE in the title role and ANTHONY HOPKINS as the corrupt King Hrothgar, as well as JOHN MALKOVICH, ROBIN WRIGHT PENN, BRENDAN GLEESON, CRISPIN GLOVER, ALISON LOHMAN and ANGELINA JOLIE as Grendel’s mother. Neil Gaiman (the graphic novel “Mirrormask,” “Sandman”) & Roger Avary (“Pulp Fiction”) have adapted the legend to the screen.

The animation looks so real, I was left wondering whether a few scenes were truly animated, or was it just my imagination. But the movie is worth watching, only if you have 'enough' to afford an Imax or a multiplex. Watch it on a DVD at home, and you'll think the Popeye show was better. The deafening silence in some scenes, and the thunderous clashes between the protagonist and the monster is really a thrill to watch.

My rating: *** 1/2

Mother knows it all.....

I found this piece of article in some dusty box ... remembering it as my own work, that I had written way back in School, when I was in the seventh standard, as a possible entry to the School magazine, and being badly and outrightly rejected, I decided to 'blog' it ... no one can reject my write-ups in my blog, other than myself ... this piece is about the perils a young boy has to undergo after he wets his bed. The article does not indicate that I suffer from a bed-wetting problem, and therefore, should not be used against me. Here it goes...

The night was cold. The blankets were lying on the floor. Its too dark to see anything. Outside, a light mist covers the sky. Inside, everything is motionless, plunged into a deep silence. Occasional sounds of coughs can be heard outside; at times a guard passes by with a shrill whistle. You can sleep no more; there is a sense of urgency, a feeling of pain and frustration, and uneasiness. You are too scared to get up, to walk through the dark corridor. Who knows what’s hiding behind the closed door, what evil force would cast its spell on you, and therefore you lay where you are. Then, there is a moment of relief, and you sleep. Sleep – that’s put you into a state of unconsciousness. Its all over now. The cool breeze has decreased the temperature. Your body can’t withstand any longer. The dam breaks, and you have wet your bed again. It strikes you the first thing in the morning. The night was eerie, the morning would be even worse. Now, mom seems to be scarier than the devil.

Isn’t it really embarrassing, when you wet your bed?? Especially when you are slowly growing and maturing. It ensures a good night’s sleep, but its discovery is the most horrible part. Mom complains the clothes don’t dry fast during winters, but does the poor body understand that? What does she know about the dark world and the devils that lurk behind bathroom doors in the middle of the night? Wouldn’t it be just great if mom never realized that you have soaked your bed?

First, there’s the mark. A distinct wavy pattern, a work of art, a natural masterpiece. Friction causes heat. Heat evaporates liquids. Sorry, Physics cannot be applied here. How much ever you rub your body against it, it just doesn’t evaporate. It makes you wonder how large rivers and lakes go dry during summers. Its power is such that it can penetrate through layers and layers of bed-sheets. Some even try ironing the bed when mom’s busy. Will it work? No – smell doesn’t evaporate so quickly.

Then, there are your clothes. Wet, wet, wet. Hiding them won’t do. Mom knows the colour and design of all your inner-wears. She’ll catch you in a minute.

If these weren’t enough, you carry along with yourself a distinct smell, a smell that is way beyond the fragrance of flowers, a smell that is much stronger than the smell of the first rain, and a smell that reaches your mom’s nose first.

Switch on the fan – full speed – in vain. Spill water on bed purposely – you are only making matters worse. Cover the bed with books and bags – mom is the first person to clean them, and she’ll soon discover her son’s talent. Exchange places with your younger brother or sister – mom will check your clothes, and ground you for 2 misdeeds.

Then what will work? Sorry, this is not an essay to teach you new tricks. This is just an attempt to say – “Nothing will work”. Sorry to disappoint you. Mother knows it all. You can commit a murder and escape law, but you can never escape from mother. So, the next time you sleep, make sure you go the toilet first; because its not the devil that is watching you – its your mother. Your very own mother, because “Mother knows it all”.

Movie-week

Me saw a few movies this week. Don't ask me reviews, coz they are age old movies. Those movies you enjoyed in a theater, whereas me contemplated for two years whether or not I must watch it, after which I spent another month searching for a DVD (free of cost, downloaded P2P or some other pirated version) ... the DVD spends another 6 months catching dust, after which I finally watch the movie.

Scary Movie 1 & 2: I have watched them earlier, and believe me, these are movies you gotta make your mom and dad watch. Do that, and you shall understand the concept of self-reliance, if you know what I mean. Vulgar to the core, it made me wanna puke on the TV screen. I stopped myself after realizing that the characters in the movie were doing just that - unabashedly throwing up on each other. This movie gets a 'yucky' rating of nothing.

Scary Movie 3: A more civilized version of the Scary movie series ... more funny ... more senseless ... scenes picked from Sixth Sense, The Ring, Matrix Reloaded, and a whole lot more. It gets a smooth 4 stars. Waiting to watch the fourth and final version too.

Transformers: I almost watched it in a theater, but could not due to technical reasons (which I cannot disclose due to technical difficulties) ... a 'not so good' movie ... may sound good in a theater ... but the concept is pretty amateurish ... and pretty stupid ... a complete lack of coherence ... worth only two and a half stars.

Jab We Met: Oh so cool movie ! First time I realized I can actually like Kareena Kapoor ... she over-acts badly certain times ... but is fine ... Shahid looks mature ... dialogues are what makes the movie worth your money ... very quick-witted ... the last 30 minutes or so were very impractical ... a sorry ending for an otherwise excellent movie ... my three and a half stars belong to this movie

Happy Feet: The DVD was bad ... the lip synchrony was badly missing ... somebody please gimme this DVD

Coming up: Lots of movies I need to catch up on ... Terminator series (wanna watch 'em a second time) ... Matrix series (second time) ... Click (third time) ... Devil wears Prada ... Just my luck ... Mission Impossible series ... Ufff ... feels like I belong to the stone-age !!

The Vikki with a [V]

This person was so sure that I would never write about him ... I was so sure, that I could write a book about him, before I even blinked my eyes. Meet 'Vikki' ... the chocolate hero of Bangalore. A slap-stick comedian, and a hearth-throb of Bangalore teenage gals. My first cousin, and an awesome friend of mine.

We were Siamese twins since birth. Always together. If God hadn't created separate genders, we would be called the closest couple. Math makes him wet his pants, Cricket runs in his blood, and a he's a big-time fan of WWF (now its WWE i think).

A real funny guy, his one-liners are hilarious. From the time he had to bathe in front of the cows (who were so agitated that day) to the time he was attacked when he was doing what he does best (answering nature's call) ... the thought of him is enough to burst out laughing. His cell-phone contact list is over-populated with names of girls from different colleges; his endless affairs, fights with chinkis, the bashings he receives from his dad, his sister's verbal attacks, all makes him our most adored brother. He is always apprehensive of what I write about him ... so i'll limit myself this time ... he's an 'item' to watch out for ... although he seems to be scared of commitments, he is open to casual flings ...

The guy works ... in a mutual funds company called Franklin Templeton ... don't talk to him about work ... his work is real boring ... but the moolah it involves is the more exciting part ... he may not buy you anything in the interval of a movie ... but he surely fills your stomach with his side-splitting gags. This is Vikki with a [V] !!

Yakshagana

Yakshagana is a classical folk art form of Karnataka. Actors wear costumes and enact various roles. Traditionally Yakshaganas would go on all night.

On a serene Thursday couple of days back, I had to make a choice - have a dekko at a Yakshagana performance nearby ... or watch 'Happy Feet' on DVD (finally !). Suddenly, I felt like exhibiting a fight for the protection of ancient Indian culture ... and surprising myself, I decided to go to the Yakshagana. Mind you, this was my second visit to this folk art; I liked it the first time, but that was way back in school, and ever since, folk art and me had developed such a rift in between them like JDS and BJP in our state (I have to mention this somehow !)

Although my hidden intention was to grab the samosas and chips that I thought would be served, I walked into the auditorium with mom and dad. After the usual blah blah from the organizers, a few attempts to extol each other, and not to mention, the fragrance of baked food enveloping the auditorium, which by the end of the show I realized, was not meant for us ... the magnanimous show began.

The theme was 'Samudra Mathana' ... an attempt by the Devas and Asuras to regain the treasures of Indra, with 'Amrita' (or ambrosia) which was obtained as a by-product, drinking of which results in immortality. It starts with the beating of drums, signalling the arrival of the characters on-stage. A narrator narrates the story in a song-like fashion, backed by musicians. The actors have limited dialogue too (which marks a difference to Kathakali where the actors don't speak at all). What is surprising is, Yakshagana is not limited to Hindu mythology; it has undergone various innovations which includes performances of Shakespeare's works.

The make-up I must say was outstanding; the play lasted for 2 hours, but I am sure the actors took more than 4 hours just to get ready. The entire costume is so intricate, a Goddess looks truly like a goddess, and a Rakshas looks truly like one. The actors, as I got to know later, were either software engineers, or bank employees, and were all women. Their performance has not been limited to India, extending from Germany to Kuwait. The movements are so pronounced, the action is so intense, that actors breaking the stage into pieces, with their powerful performance is quite a common phenomenon.

Overall, it was an outstanding play ... Yakshagana has its origin from around the 10th century. A common misconception is that, it is only limited to coastal Karnataka; its performed everywhere, even outside Karnataka, but of course, it lacks the encouragement of this generation of people, who'd rather go to a concert than such a show. Thats' the irony - the 'one' thing we feel proud about of our country, the 'one' thing due to which we feel that our country's the best in the world, and the one thing we fail to treasure, but do end up exporting it to other nations, is our diverse culture.

The magic of OSO

Saturday 17th Nov: TOEFL Exam
Thursday 15th Nov: Om Shanti Om tix in my hands.......

What the hell am I doing here, when I got to be studying ? That too for a Farah Khan movie (Main Hoon Naa still gives me nightmares) ? A movie which has SRK ? A movie which has Deepika ....... Aaaaah !!!! Now I know why i'm here .... i'm here for her .... I bring along mom and dad to introduce them to their to-be daughter-in-law !!

Sssshhh ! The movie begins. Lets retrograde. Enter, the set-up of a 1970 movie production unit. It looks so dreamy ... so flashy ... so unreal. Discard those jeans ... to hell with your sun-glasses ... tear away your t-shirt ... coz the past is here again !! Farah takes you on a ride back to history ... weird hairstyles ... weirder dress sense ... weirdest dance moves ... it makes you want to go back home, take the dust off those 1970 era video cassettes, and drown in the sea of music. 'Om' a junior artist in love with 'Shanti', the dreamy Bollywood girl, sounds too unrealistic, sounds too filmi.

I found myself biting my nails in the 7-minute interval ... waiting for the magic to begin. Enter SRK ... enter 6-packs ... and crappy acting. First half, I was ready to shed my repugnance of SRK forever ... second half, the over-actor is back. And where the hell is Shanti ? It takes a while for the movie to fall on track again ... but it does ... and the intense melodrama starts off again ... places here and there that drag ... scenes that you wished weren't there ... but once again, the stage is set for a magnanimous ending ... some things happen that you never expected ... the magic fills the atmosphere ... and the curtains are drawn ... !!

Songs are lovely ... Sonu melts your heart with his voice ... music is beautiful ... leave all logic at home ... and you'll love this one ... my review is really ambiguous as it is meant to be ... an incoherent one ... watch it ... if not for Deepika ... atleast watch it for the 'magic' ... coz thats' what a Bollywood movie is all about ...

My rating: * * * 1/2

Portraits...

This is certainly not my work. If I ever did a painting (which I surely won't) ... it'll look more like droppings of a sick bird. I have this friend called Viraj ... a friend from our B.Sc days ... it took me more than a year to realize his talent ... he does such lovely portraits ... they are all so fantastic. And the guy's so modest ... he hardly mentions about it ... he's going to Mumbai for his job in Reliance, and I wish him the best of luck. Dude, you got a gift ... no matter how busy you get, keep doin' 'em ... and sorry, I have used 2 of your images without your permission, but I can't help but share this with everyone.

You can find plenty of portraits ... all compositions of Viraj at http://virajkarekar.blogspot.com

Give a look at this blog ... they are all so wonderful !!

And my choice is ... (?)

Charlie has his 3 angels. There's the stunning Lucy Liu, the charming Cameron Diaz, and the cute Drew Barrymore. But have you heard of Suhas' angels ? You haven't ? Great ... I can now post this article with full fanfare.

Earlier, I mean when I started watching Hindi movies ... I was interested in the story ... not the heroines ... Madhuri smiled too much and that freaked me out ... Kajol looked like she was just emerging from a charcoal factory ... Manisha Koirala's cholesterol content bounced up and down ... Raveena Tandon was too male(ish) ... Sonali Bendre was taken (by my brother, and I didn't want to have any conflicts with him as he would be sponsoring my education) ... and the rest of them weren't just consistent enough.

But then came Sanjay Leela Bhansali ... no he's not a heroine ... but he brought Aishwarya Rai ... I know she existed much before ... but the moment I saw her in 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam' ... I fell flat ... unconscious ... for 3 whole weeks ... doctors' had said I wouldn't make it. I had gone bonkers ... she was perfect for me ... of course I'd have to convince her not to cook fish at home, but it was clear ... her name was about to become Aishwarya Suhas. But things failed to remain the same ... as her popularity grew ... her texture changed ... she became more plastic ... artificial ... her talk, her walk, her personality ... was so hypocritical. She looked atrocious at the Cannes Film Festival ... that blew the lid off me ... I was back into being 'single' again !!

There was a lull for sometime ... models, beauty pageants rushed into the movie industry like a flock of sheep ... they all looked so stupid ... Sameera Reddy was being talked about always ... she's the size of a hippo I have in my backyard ... Lara Dutta has nothing apart from her smile ... Tanushree Dutta is so ugly-looking ... Hema Malini is more gorgeous than Esha ... Soha Ali Khan is creepy lookin ... Bipasha's voice is like that of Amitabh's ... all crap !

But somewhere ... in 3 different places ... were born ... 3 angels ... Suhas' angels ... and they took my life by storm ... stole my sleep ... and blinded my eyes ... the Miss World Priyanka Chopra who stunned me in Bluffmaster ... the girl from London ... someone who swept me off like the hurricane Katrina ... she's Katrina Kaif ... and the good ol' Bangalore Beauty ... Deepika ... i'm watching Om Shanti Om 7 times, putting my life in peril, just to keep her happy !!

Now Deepika is 21 yrs ... Katrina is 23 ... Priyanka is around 26. My parents don't mind ... as long as I marry a 'girl' ... but I'm real confused.

Ok I do know Charlie doesn't marry his angels ... but hello ... I'm no Charlie ... Charlie is embarrassed to even show his face !!

If all 3 of you girls are reading this blog ... I'm sorry but am real confused ... I would have married all 3 of you ... but I cant have violence at home ... but until I decide ... don't ya dare play around. Especially you Deepika ... MS Dhoni is from a loser team ... and he's cut is hair to impress you ... pathetic fella ... and Katrina ... Salman is gonna go to jail, that's for sure ... and he's crossed 40 ... ol' man he is !!

And dad ... if you are reading this ... i'm gonna gift U a DVD of 'Pretty Woman' which comes with a free Julia Roberts poster ... so please don't tell mom about all this (this'll surely work !)