Before - After

Today's babies are a lot luckier. Just realized this, after I saw my new-born nephew. There's so much of difference between today's babies and the babies of 1984 (coz I was born then).

Like, today, babies get to choose between a range of diapers, coming in different packages, colours, maybe even tastes. There's strawberry flavored, there's pineapple, and maybe there's even a mango (although all flavors are gonna smell differently once its put into use). We, on the other hand, the babies of 1984, just managed with a torn dirty 'dhoti' belonging to our fathers and forefathers discarded by them after 25 years of use.

Today's kids are photo-graphed, and have their videos taken, which they can look at after they grow. Perhaps its good in a way, they can see how dirty they were, and learn to respect their mothers a bit. The 1984 babies hardly know how they were a few years back, forget videos, there isn't even a photo of my naming ceremony.

Today's kids are absolutely dirty. They shit where they sleep, or on whom they sleep, they answer nature's call in the form of a musical fountain, and they cry and cry and cry. The 1984 babies excused themselves respectfully, went into the bathroom, flushed, and even closed the toilet seat cover.

A lot of money is given to today's babies. Money - which means nothing more to them than tissue used to wipe their private parts. The money obviously goes to the parents who use it to buy more and more of tissue boxes, and some perfume to refresh the room's atmosphere. The babies of 1984 were given nothing, not even a handful of change, and even if someone gave something, we do not know about it. Right now, I maintain my nephew's finances, so he can be assured his money is not gonna go anywhere else.

Babies sleep a lot and cry a lot. They are placed in expensive cradles, made to wear branded clothing, which comes even with a fancy hat, mosquito-net is provided, toys are all electronic and mostly require 4 batteries to work, and everyone pampers and adores the little one. The 1984 babies were real survivors. Our cradle (if it can be called one) was made from a bunch of discarded bed-sheets and worn out ropes. No mosquito nets, we wore pieces of cloth, our toys were not costlier than a piece of a stick.

Inspite of all these facilities, babies today refuse to speak anything for almost an year. Perhaps they are shocked and speechless looking at all their amenities. They are dirty, they don't clean up their stuff, they don't walk properly, they cry, their noses run, and they are lazy. I am sure you wouldn't believe if I said I used to wake up at 5-30am every morning and do Yoga exercises, when I was hardly 4 months old. Ok, thats too much exaggeration, but the point is, the 1984 babies are the best when it comes to survival. Full stop !!

black Mail

I really do post a lot of stuff that happens in and around our family. People would rather hear about Shilpa Shetty and her 'big brother', but who would want to read about me and my big brother ? Surprisingly, everyone does. When I talk about how my brother uses me as an exhaust pipe substitute for his car, everyone's interested. Not that they want to help me out, sue my brother, and get me compensation. They are just amused. My sad stories amuse people, that's the way society works today.

I never realized my potential. But I soon realized that I had a weapon. Its called 'Blogger'. This could work like magic. Here's how conversations would happen at home.

To brother: Pay me a fat pocket money or else I blog terrible stuff against you.

To dad: Get off the computer, or else I'll blog about how much money you have stuffed in the bank.

To mom: Make Pooris today, or else I blog a list of the mega-serials you watch.

I'm thinkin of buying some land near Devanahalli, with all the money I am gonna get from my brother. I'll ask dad to buy me a laptop, and mom shall prepare Paani puris everyday. Call it 'blackmail', or whatever you will, every dog has his day, and mine has just begun !!

Time - pass

Although my father thinks otherwise, I have successfully completed 3 semesters of my post graduation. I deserve some time off studies, so our college decided to give a vacation of 40 days. Lots of my friends and cousins, (who by the way are busy with work and college) are pretty jealous, and always feel I don't deserve these many holidays.

Now who starts deciding what I do deserve ? If its my cousins, they'd probably want to see me locked up in a rusted dungeon with nothing to eat apart from mom's "Uppit" and some capsicum pieces as a sider (FYI - I hate Capsicum) !!

One question that I have always been asked, and is slowly getting very irritating is - no no, not about my marriage, that's pretty unsure (i wonder whether it will ever happen), neither about which political party i am gonna vote for (i seriously don't care, believe me, i am more worried about the latest mega-serials that are getting added into my mom's list). Its a simple question that makes me want to hit people with grenades - "How are you spending your holidays ?"

Now thats not even a question !! Holidays are the days when we are meant to be doing nothing. If we did something, they would be called "Work - days". And doing nothing is a very tough thing to do, that requires lots of dedication and focus. Ok, I admit I do some stuff. Read it here, and don't dare ask me again.

I keep track of mom's mega-serials. I know the in and out of each character, and I can predict what's gonna happen next.

I read novels. I have tried PG Wodehouse, John Grisham, Agatha Christie, RK Narayan and Robin Cook.

I clean my room. Seriously !! I have swallowed a bucketful of dust in the process.

I eat a lot. From Sankranthi left-overs to stuff I have stolen from the bakery.

I visit relatives. I make sure I stay for only one day, but I also make sure they prepare something delicious that I can carry home.

I over-sleep everyday. The thing I most love to do is tuck myself under the blanket just when my brother is leaving for office.

I blog. If I wouldn't, you would not be reading this.

I have left out a lot of stuff, ranging from washing clothes, to shopping and etc. I find 24hrs too less, my body would rather sleep for a couple more hours.

So this is what I do ... atleast until Feb 09 ... and then I have to start the usual program of dieting in time for Valentine's (Dad, if you are reading this, that was a joke ok) !!

My desktop !!!

I have been enhancing the 'look and feel' of my desktop, and this is what I got ! Doesn't it look too good; but it won't last long; my brother is soon to come home, uninstall everything and make our computer look like it belonged to the Pre-Independence era !!

Dreams have wings !

William Wordsworth defined poetry as the "spontaneous outflow of powerful feelings" !! However, in my case, poetry was seemingly more like an outflow of a whole load of trash, especially when I have had a hard day at college, or after a dog chased me when I was on my way to the hair saloon.

So, poetry has been a way for me to 'let go', 'release my tensions', and feel less suffocated. Just like how you throw up when you eat something you hate, to me, poetry is something that comes out when I have had a really bad day.

This one came out on such an instance, when our Zoology lecturer caught me for the 100th time laughing, and I continued laughing even though she was bombarding me with expletives, leading to a whole lot of complications. Its a letter of love, and disappointments, written by a boy, reflecting his life. No, no, not me, its got nothing to do with me ... I belong to one of those clans who believe "Jaane kyun log pyaar karte hain" !! I wrote this on 'Children's Day', probably an inappropriate time to be writing such things ... anyway here it is.

So you thought this is a letter of 'Love',
but life has become a lot different now.
You will now hear the story of a little boy's life,
who at such a young age wants a wife !

Studying was all that he did,
he was a very good boy since he was a kid.
And then at college he saw the lovely girls,
they were cute and smart, hairs in curls !

A girl at college had a crush on this guy,
and he thought she was like 'Aishwarya Rai' !
He began dreaming of engagements and wedding rings,
of course, dreams do have wings !

The girl was more to him than his life,
in a few days they would become husband and wife.
They say all good things come to an end,
the boy comes to know that she has yet another boy-friend.

The girl suddenly loses interest in her would-be,
in the way she acts, you can see.
Off-late by everybody it is spoken,
that the proposed engagement would be broken.

There are many more fish in the sea,
and in course of time you will see.
He shall indeed be seeing engagements and wedding rings
Because dreams do have wings !

Valentine's special

You see ... most of the poems I write are in Kannada ... so I really don't know how to post them online ... but here's one I recovered from a dusty old book. I warn you ... its got nothing to do with me ... its not my story ... and any resemblances are purely co-incidental ... its about a failed love relationship ... the boy writes to the girl on Valentine's Day ... expressing his sadness ... surprisingly I wrote this on Feb 14th ... the Valentine's Day ... ain't I leading a pitiful life ... sitting and writing poems on that day ... when I have got to be doing something more romantic ... anyway ... here it goes !!

I had promised you something on Valentine's Day,
that with you I'd forever stay,
that for the rest of your life, I'd shower you with love;
But I hate to say this: "I break my promise now"

It was on a Valentine's, when we looked at each other like never before;
Its the same Valentine's, but the love is no more.
The warmth has faded, the closeness was never there;
Its too late to say it, but we could have made a good a pair.

Perhaps this relationship wasn't meant for us,
but what's the use now of making a fuss.
We can still remain friends all our life,
even after you find a husband, and me, a wife.

So wipe your tears and stay strong,
If you are depressed, I shall sing you a song.
This is all I could give you on Valentine's Day;
You had brought colour to my life, now its all grey !!

Train journeys...

I become a little child when travelling in trains. I have always loved trains and railway stations. They are a world of 'magic' to me. Standing on the platform, and waiting for the train, the announcements, the sound of the train, its approach, its supremacy, blowing the wind against my face, the rush to board the train, and a "Phew !!" sound of relief, when we settle down on the seat next to the window ... its all an amazing journey. Its not just a journey, its a place of wisdom; from learning about how the signals work, to knowing the people sitting next to you - its a school in itself. From the rich guy in the next seat to the beggar ... each person is a walking book ... waiting to be read !!

I love the Bangalore - Hubli Intercity express ... coz its like a crash course ... you learn a lot ... and you reach your destination (in my case - Arsikere) very soon. This happened last week, when I was returning from Arsikere to Bangalore, aboard the Intercity.

There were 3 people sitting near me. One, whom we shall call as 'A' spoke a lot of philosophy. The second one, we shall call as 'B' , and he was a school teacher. The third would be 'C' and he repeated whatever 'A' and 'B' said.

'A' began talking about miracles ... the ones performed by 'sanyaasis' ... yeah yeah ... curing cancers with the touch of a finger ... producing watches out of thin air ... that kind !! He was particularly stressing on treatment of diseases, ones which even doctors couldn't. 'B' would often put his head down, as though he had done something wrong (like forgetting his wife's anniversary for a 100th time), while 'C' would repeat the last few words of whatever 'A' said.

'A' dominated the conversation for a long time, his talks ranging from the presence / absence of God, religion, caste system, relationship between the body and the soul and involving a whole lot of proverbs in between. 'B' was still looking lost (although he was a teacher), and 'C' continued smiling ... and continued repeating.

I was being a mute spectator all the while, not wanting to get myself buried under the volley of philosophies coming from 'A'. The train was fast approaching 'Tiptur'. Suddenly 'A' began talking about a school poem on 'Life and Death' ... 'B' agreed that he taught the same poem to his students, but unfortunately (and as usual) could not explain the same poem to 'A' and 'C'. 'A' hardly looked convinced, while 'C' began munching on a few peanuts.

The topic began shifting to 'Saddam Hussain' ... and immediately another person whom we will call 'D' joined in. He seemed more like a cartoon character, short and fat, but was pretty much aggressive when it came to criticizing Saddam. He was a Malayali, and so could not convey his opinions effectively. 'A' still dominated the conversation, and he also happened to look at Saddam as a great personality. 'B' looked confused, while 'C' supported both the views on Saddam. I thought of saying something, but swallowed my words ... the conversation needed a spectator.

Not being too happy about not being supported by 'D' over Saddam's issues, the philosopher 'A' shifted on again to the topic of life and death. He said "Shiva bittre manushya shava aagthaane" meaning - "If Shiva (the God) leaves your body, you will become a Shava (or a dead person)". At this, 'D' became so much impressed that he repeated those lines, and lifted his hand up several times gesturing appreciation. 'B' put his head down and smiled (probably at his pitiful situation) while 'C' was almost on the verge of clapping.

At Tumkur, 'B' bid everyone goodbye and walked off. He seemed to be hardly in this world. Now, 'A', 'C' and 'D' began arguing over the time the train would reach Bangalore. I was asked for an opinion, and I had to open my mouth (perhaps the three wanted to test whether I could talk). I agreed with 'D's opinion, at which 'A' looked very frustrated. He again began talking about God showing his presence everywhere. 'C' suddenly was tired and began drowsing off, while 'D' took over the responsibility of nodding his head. 'D' then excused himself saying he wanted to go to the bathroom, but he never returned (perhaps he threw himself off the moving train); tired from all the talking, 'A' opened a cover of 'Kadale Puri' ... I looked at the cover, with suspicion, what if he offers it to me, and what if he drugs me ... thankfully nothing of that happened ... 'A' gobbled at the Puri alone.

'C' opened his eyes for a second, and sensing that 'A' was preparing himself for another round of philosophy, covered his face with a handkerchief and slept off again. I had to get down at Yeswanthpur itself, and as I collected my bags, 'A' smiled at me. I smiled back.

Perhaps I won't meet any of these guys again for the rest of my life ... but the 2 hours I spent with them was so much fun ... each person carrying with himself an identity ... a uniqueness ... I have always loved train journeys ... they are a world of 'magic' to me !!

'Guru' the Movie

Time - 9:30am. Venue - Garuda Mall. Presently in the parking lot. What the hell ? 10 bucks to park my fuel-sucking bike...and I just recently watched a movie for 19 bucks on a balcony seat.

Time - 9:35am. Venue - Still the same Garuda Mall. Wow!! Huge place. My first visit. I looked around with eyes wide open, just like how a baby looks at the world around it. People everywhere, mostly college guys and girls.

Girls .... oh so they are all here ... now I realize where all Bangalore girls had vanished ... they are not in R.T.Nagar anymore ... they are all here ... but where the hell is Inox ?? I follow a group of girls ... hey no assumptions ... I'm just hoping they'll lead me to the multiplex ... 1st floor ... 2nd floor ... 3rd floor ... 4th floor ... where the hell am I going ... I hope I won't fall off this scary escalator ... are they going to the terrace ... mass suicide ... love disappointments ? Oh here's Inox ... finally !!

Friends haven't come as yet ... I'm scared to touch anything ... everything looks expensive ... even that sweeper who's glaring at me ... ah here come my friends ... now I need to fear nothing ... oh this was supposed to be a movie review right ... Cool screen ... cool seats ... cool ... in fact ... its too cool or rather too cold ... ssshhh the movie's starting ...

A 1950s story ... cool east-man color effect ... nice start ... a villager ... goes to Istanbul to earn money, earns almost enough to start his own business ... the first half of the movie accelerates at good pace ... Abhishek looks good ... Aishwarya Rai (a bit of a setback after Dhoom, but she wasn't looking good in that anyway), decent performance.

But hey, hold on, this Guru bhai is growing at too fast a rate ... last I saw him in a small office, now he owns cars, in an instant he's building a factory, the next instant he's the entrepreneur of Shakti Group of Industries. Too fast, too fast, how the hell did all this happen ... ok lets assume he did a lot of illegal stuff, bribed government officials, did not pay excise duties on imports ... fine i'll buy this explanation, but would have been better if I was shown how Guru became a business tycoon so soon.

Mithun da ... looks good too ... old man, but looks good. Now, whats Vidya Balan doing in a wheel-chair ? Multiple sclerosis ? Hey c'mon, she looks so good, she needs to dance around like a little girl, not sit on a wheel-chair. Make Aishwarya Rai sit on a wheel-chair rather. Ok, summary of first half - Guru bhai, starts off as a villager, and grows to become a big business tycoon, how I'm not sure, Aishwarya is his wife (whom he marries for the sake of dowry), Vidya Balan can't walk, but she adores Guru bhai.

Interval time ... cool urinals ... they emit red lights ... I did a bit of a disco with my body fluids ... had to stop when the guy next to me frowned.

What ?????????????????????????????? Popcorn and coke costs 70 bucks ? Are you crazy man ? Is he importing his pop-corns from Zambia ? I ain't paying anything ... you get it ... I ain't paying anything !!

I get back to my seat ... coke and pop-corn in hand ... with a lighter wallet ... hey the girl next to me keeps kicking me ... get yer feet off me woman ... these are my new trousers ... uff she kicks me again ... I was about to pour my coke inside her nose, when the movie started.

Second half ... I must ask my little brother to watch this movie ... and my dad too ... Second half is a bit of a dragger ... unnecessary songs ... 2-3 songs are pretty good ... Rehman's music ... naaaah doesn't sound like Rehman ... enter Madhavan ... Vidya Balan's life partner ... journalist ... with only one aim ... get Guru bhai down ... Guru's irregularities are slowly exposed ... but Guru fights on ... he faces an enquiry ... talks about 'India shining' for about 5 minutes ... good dialogues ... movie comes to an end ... you can take everything from him ... but not his courage ... b'coz Guru fights on

The cinematography is excellent ... dialogues are good ... I loved Abhishek, he's got this simplicity in him, he ain't handsome, his rugged features and unblemished smile makes you connect with his character immediately, Aishwarya looks less plastic ... Vidya Balan is adorable ... Mithun da is good ... Madhavan ... hmmm ... not too strong ... he needed to be more stronger

But .... yeah ... here's the but ... the movie lacks details ... superficially it looks good ... do a bit of introspection, and you'll get a whole lot of doubts ... some characters are neglected and not given a proper finish ... some songs occur at unnecessary places ... neither his growth is explained properly, how he's caught is not dealt with properly, how he gets out of the noose unblemished I still don't understand ... Vidya Balan is totally wasted ... Madhavan and Mithun never make their appearances during the conclusion ... Rehman's music makes you feel cheated ... on the whole it fails to bring about inspiration ... the viewer is still left confused over which path to take ... I thought I'd emerge out of the theater with so much of 'josh' that I would open an anti-Biocon company right opposite Kiran Mazumdar's office, but I came out of the theater still cursing the pop-corn guy and the parking attendant. I have watched movies that create so much of motivation that I had dreamt of becoming a Nobel Prize winner over-night. This movie creates no such effect, and whatever it did create is way too temporary that lasts only until you walk down the corridor to the restroom.

This movie, had a potential to be directed much better (remember, this is ManiRatnam), so it disappoints you there. But the positives exist too. The shooting is done in Badami, Melkote, Chennai and parts of Turkey, and the cinematography as I said earlier is really good. I haven't so much revealed the story, as I want you to watch this movie. The story has been compared to Dhirubai Ambani's Reliance story ... I don't know how far thats true ... but one needs to understand the difficulties involved in being an entrepreneur ... the movie does no preaching ... it just shows that there are grey shades to every character ... but hard work eventually pays. Watch it once ... its a 'different' movie ... literally

My ratings: * * *

My story isn't over as yet ... I walked over to the food court ... ate some Bhel-puri ... some crazy guy sitting next to us began preaching about going abroad ... and getting true value for our hard-work there ... he also talked about how important it is to think about what we need to give our country right now ... there was truth in what he said ... he also talked about the mall-culture ... yeah talk about it man ... and talk about that pop-corn guy as well ...

I had a look around again ... hey who are these people ... whose money are they feasting on ... I need to bring my brother here ... there are school kids here ... if I ask for a heavier wallet, my bro would put stones into it ... anyway not a place you take your girlfriend to ... if Guru brought Aishwarya Rai here, she would reduce his huge group of companies into a foot-path stall ... do you know she bought 11 banaras saris for her marriage ... yeah I've been reading a lot of Times of India these days

Finally I walked out ... had a lot of trouble finding my bike ... such a huge place man ... where did that guy who stole my 10 bucks for parking, hide my bike ... ah there it was ... I sped off towards MG Road ... I hardly felt my wallet now ...

And oh yeah ... remember that girl who kept kicking me throughout the movie ... know what I did to her ... naah I did not pour coke into her nose ... that coke was costly dude ... I threw a pop-corn on her ... she kept searching for whatever that hit her ... I'm a happy guy now ... and oh yeah, the movie, go watch it, its an ok movie, you might like it ... just know what markets, shares, debentures are ... that will help you...

Happy Sankranthi

Sankranthi, or Sankranti, is a festival that signifies the beginning of the harvest season for the farmers of India.

It is also called 'Makara Sankranthi', it is celebrated primarily in the states of Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh & Maharashtra. From this day onwards, the sun with respect to the earth starts moving towards North signalling the oncoming summer also called Uttarayana. The grand sire of Mahabharata - Bheeshmacharya, waited for this day to die and ascend to Brahmaloka.

This piece of information is for all those of you who believe festivals mean just loads and loads of food (that probably includes me too) ... there is indeed so much of Science in our festivals ... our
ancestors really ain't as dumb as we think they are ...

Wish you all a happy 'Sankranthi' ... may some sense prevail in you at least from today !!

Ideas of an Einstein

They say ideas flash at the weirdest of places. Who's 'they' anyway ? 'They' can be anyone - poets, scientists, artists, general public, sometimes even babies say so many things that we hardly pay any attention to. Like, my little nephew told me, when I met him for the first time, that 'inflation is the major worry for this Govt. in an otherwise booming economy'. Ok ... it sounded something like that ... but thats not the point !!

You have heard of great men getting inspiration from weird sources, be it a mountain or a bird or an insect or an ocean. Few people have asked me where I get my inspiration from ... to start off, I see happy people out there ... people with good jobs ... lots of money ... a loving wife ... cute kids ... theirs is the perfect life ... they are my inspiration ... that's how I get the encouragement to blog ... I blog ... and destroy their life ... they are less happier ... my incessant trash talk upsets their otherwise stable mind ... they fight with their wives ... they hit their kids ... they lose their job ... I wonder why I haven't been arrested yet

I guess you know I used to write a bit of poetry (if I can call it one) ... I think of lines in the weirdest possible places ... the poetry I wrote when my brother came back from U.S was something that flashed to me in the loo ... literally ... lines began flowing ... like the flow of my ... never mind !!

Maths had been playing lots of games with me ... it brought equal amounts of happiness and sorrow to me ... when I was stuck in a problem ... I felt so agitated that I hit everyone around ... but the solution never struck me ... and then I slept ... looking at the rotating blades of the fan ... cutting the air at different angles ... there was so much Maths everywhere ... and suddenly the solution struck me ... at the middle of the night ... if I was complacent I would forget it again ...

A girl at tuition was hitting on me ... and I always thought she was being overly-warm ... it took a long walk back home to realize what was actually happening ...

I won the first prize for Creative writing for all 3 years in B.Sc ... and most of those ideas I got were when watching mom's mega-serials ... I write poetry for the birthdays of my cousins ... and all the ideas hit me when I watch little kids play.

Today's greatest wonders were yesterday's ideas ... that cropped up in someone's mind ... ideas don't come when you sit in a Library ... or near your study table ... they come up when you venture out ... when you see the setting sun ... the kids play ... or anything enjoyable like going to the loo !!

Mungaaru Male ...

This is a movie review ... but I haven't seen the movie ... so I shouldn't really be giving a review ... but I am ... but its wrong ... its imperative that I watch the movie first ... but I haven't ... so where's the point ... actually my little brother Bharath has watched the movie ... so he has the right to give a review ... so this is actually his review ... the words that follow are his ... so here goes ...

"Well, I should tell you this first. I am really impressed by the movie. At least once in a year I could get to see some decent stuff from the Kannada film industry".

The theme, nothing fresh: Boy loves girl who is about to get married. Of course, boy doesn't know that. One thing that you like about this film is that the hero is totally open minded, he tells the heroine that he loves her right at the beginning (quiet different). She happens to be the daughter of his mother's best hubby. His mom takes him to their house for her marriage, but our hero doesn't know that. You might guess what could go on next, as usual.

The story is not that extra-ordinary, but Ganesh was superb. Actually, I expected the least from him. He suited the role wonderfully well - a talkative young man, always smiling, and making friends with whom he likes. The heroine is ok, partly b'coz most of the screen is covered by Ganesh. Anant Nag, Padmaja Rao (of Preethi Illada Mele fame, Raagini) were also good.

But the thing that catches you the most is the background score and the cinematography. There are some scenes shot in Jog - the most brilliant part of the film. You would be at the edge of yours seats - literally. Probably no one had dared to shoot there. They were at the brink of the biggest waterfall in India. Even a slight slip (it was raining too) could have meant a certain death. Kudos to the director and to the lead actors.

You enjoy the movie entire length as there is not a dull moment. Songs after the interval are good. Dialogues are good too.

The Western Ghats look just great. The film is said to be shot in real rain (for a change). Poor Ganesh might have run a high fever after the shooting. But the ending was quite disappointing. I won't tell you the ending as I want you to watch the movie. Its worth the money you spend on the tickets. I hope I have given a boost to the movie. Don't blame me after you see it, and not felt what I felt. Overall, its good.

Bharath's ratings: * * * *

Well ... there you go ... the movie seems to be good ... what sounds great is that there are 2 good Kannada movies worth watching - this one and 'Kallarali Hoovagi', whereas more and more of Hindi movies are finding themselves in the dustbin ... now this is something to be happy about !!

God...feed the hungry !

If i say I'm a voracious eater, people roll on the ground and laugh. I eat little, and that actually means 'very little'. Bottom-line, I eat to survive.

I used to eat curd-rice without any siders, without pickles. I hated most dishes. I was wondering what chaats were until I was 15. Onion pakodas and bondas were a 'no-no'. Sweets were the only reason for my survival, and I was a bit choosy about them too.

Sometimes, in life, you experience a big change, apparently for no reason, but in my case, a change for the better. Some great philosopher said, "Before you change the world' change yourself". And I did, my tongue started welcoming all those things that it never had an affinity to.

Pickles (especially mango, and lemon) became my favorite, eating curd-rice alone would make me puke, almost every dish (even rasam and sambhar) became relishing, chaat stalls were my favorite hang-outs (imagine an atmosphere after rains, with masala puris in hand), paani puris and sev puris made me go weak in the knees, onion pakodas and mangalooru bajjis made me go nuts, and sweets made me melt. I ate 9 jamoons one after the other once, but I still could eat 20 more, if it was not for my empty wallet. Call it an addiction, coz it really is one, I dare to keep on eating, coz I don't seem to bloat up anymore, the weather's way too cold, and I always find company coz nobody can resist free treats.

Of course, there are still a few things that do not fail to make my life worse - capsicum (yuck !!), potatoes and more weird-looking vegetables (the weirder they look, the more my dad feels like buying them). I had recently been to my mom's native place, and it seemed that the main purpose of visit was exploiting the mouth relishing treats in and around the town.

Zero exercise coupled with an addiction to always eat, what do you get ? Yes, a permanently pregnant feeling. I hope I don't reach that stage. The great Greek philosopher Aristotle once said in 1880 that "I feel like eating Pani puris right now !!" Ok, i'm not too sure he said that, but surely he would say it, coz I'm saying it right now. All this blogging has made me hungry, and I need to go eat some Oh-so-tasty-pani-puris right now !!

What's in a name ...

They say History repeats itself. Today, names like 'Gowri' and 'Lakshmi' are catching up. A few years back, they were called apt names for cows and buffaloes. There's a 'Swarna Gowri' and a 'Honnarathi Gowri' amongst my relatives. Even mythological names and names pertaining to seasons & music ragas are sought after.

My parents did not name me from the starting letter of 'A', coz then I would have to face oral exams first (we are usually called in the alphabetical order). In fact, it helps me even today, coz my practical batch falls almost last, and I know what to expect. I wasn't too happy with my name initially though, but ever since I got a few compliments about it, my name suddenly became special to me.

I have got a friend, she is called 'Devyani', and she had two brothers, 'Karthikeya' and 'Pradhyumna', sounds more like people from the medieval age.

People have a bad habit, they cut down long and nice names into short ugly ones. Thats another thing you need to care about, there should be no possibility of cutting down the actual name.

One thing I discovered was the fact that its easier naming a baby girl, there are so many pretty names around, for the little guys, it needs a bit of research.

Some names are weird. Like there's a 'Pooja' almost in every street, 'Soumyas' are never silent, and perhaps the most amazing names I have heard is in our juniors' batch of M.Sc. There's a girl called 'Elektra' and her brother is called 'Atom'. Now thats shocking !!

In Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet, Juliet says (speaking about Romeo, because of the tension between their families),

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

Shakespeare is revealing the boundaries of the term name here. He proposes that a rose would still be a rose; in other words, the name does not matter. However, at the same time he is showing us the importance of names, as for one thing - the names are what the plot is about.

Yeah...there's so much in name...a thing thats belongs to you...but mostly used by others...in my case...probably by the principal !!

He's here...finally !!!

Yes !! Its a fully - loaded, baby boy. He's my nephew and the little fellow is awesome !!

We share the same blood group, the same weight at birth (thats 2.7Kgs) and the same levels of gorgeousness. He seems to emulate Himesh Reshammiya when he cries, he curls up his fingers as though he's holding a mike, and he sleeps like a log.

He's certainly a reflection of me, when I was his age. We are wondering about his name though, any suggestions ?

Digital me !

When its winter everywhere, there's spring here !! You can check out a few photographs I have clicked ... photography ... a dying passion ... which I'm trying hard to save
You can also access this link anytime from the 'links' section

http://new.photos.yahoo.com/a_ksuhas/album

The New year bAby

Few people know this...few people don't. My record sheets are gonna be all wet, my house is gonna be dirty, smelly, stinking. Crying can be heard in the middle of the night, and waste sheets of paper would be in high demand. You might be assuming that I have an acute problem of wetting the bed.

You wish !! My sister-in-law's gonna gift me a little child, that's gonna come out anytime now, and that'll be the dirty, smelly, stinky, weepy, and yet the cutest baby that our house as ever seen (after my birth, that is) !!

The first question everyone is bound to ask is, 'is the baby a he or a she' !!

Thats the million dollar question everyone wants to ask, but the answer, I don't know, neither does my brother, or my sister-in-law or the doctor. The baby knows the answer but it doesn't care, it just wants to stay warm wherever it is.

Now one of my uncle says its gonna be a 'male', the other uncle, who happens to always have an opposite view says its surely gonna be a 'female'. I think and crave for a little 'princess', but my cousin 'Chaitra' thinks its gonna be a 'prince' for sure. In our case, the loser has to take the winner out to a costly restaurant. Most of the older gen ladies, who are pretty much tired of giving birth to 'n' no. of ungrateful children say any child is ok as long as the delivery happens smoothly.

Either way, my brother is gonna appoint me to clean out the baby's dirty stuff, so I really shouldn't care, but the suspense remains. This whole 'giving birth' thing is so beautiful, we guys never get to experience it (thankfully ?).

So lets play the waiting game, keep watching this space !!

Once upon a time...

I don't remember listening to any stories told by my grandparents, more so because they had passed away or were very ill when I was a little kid. Most of the stories they say I believe, are crap, but plays an essential role in building the character of a little child, whose mind is like wet clay...it can be shaped into anything you like.

My dad used to tell me some of these stupid 'Panchatantra' stories...but they used to be more interesting than Steven Spielberg's movies.

Mom used to sing most of the time, and somehow I wasn't too happy to let her sing. And brother, he's a comedy story himself !!

The kids I see today are better, they get to live with their grandparents. I'm often troubled by my cousins asking me to narrate stories to them at a very unearthly hour of the night. Now, I'm no good story teller, but I tend to add a bit of weird sense of humor to it, which perhaps the parents would oppose, but the kids tend to like them. Whats important here is not to build characters, but to ensure that the child shuts up for sometime.

I often narrate stories that have been stolen from English movies. From 'The Da Vinci code' to 'Darna Mana Hai', from 'There's something about Mary' to 'Dhoom', I've spared no story. Books are my favorite too, my cousins have been lucky enough to listen stories written by Dan Brown, Stephen King and even Sidney Sheldon. So, although they think I'm saying crap, I'm actually narrating some of the greatest works ever written.

'Evil Dead' stories used to be my favorite, but then I realized that the kids need to hear something more appropriate. Thats when I began inventing stories. 'Kadalekaayi Kittappa' has been my character, created, much like Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes. 'Kittappa' is a simple peanut-vendor who, due to his outstanding intelligence, reaches such great heights that he is able to shake governments and take over countries. The story is too far fetched, and at times, my cousins even have poked my eyes in anger. But, it still remains their favorite. 'Kittappa' is not just associated with power and money, he is also associated with all those disorders which you get when you eat excess of peanuts, so often, this amuses the kids.

I have used vegetables like onions and tomatoes as my characters, I have made Lord Ganesha into an allopathic surgeon, I have narrated desi versions of Shakespeare's 'Merchant of Venice', in other words, I have given these kids an exposure to some of the greatest poets, artists, dramatists, and directors.

Perhaps, what the kids love most to hear, is my stories of college. From infatuations, to dating someone, from pranks, to me getting screwed by the principal, they love them all. I guess they are ecstatic to hear about how a very normal-looking Suhas would have been in weird situations such as 'standing in the princi's chamber', or 'asking out someone on a date'. Today's kids understand everything, it feels like they have heard it and seen it all, its easy to communicate with them, and thats why perhaps, I can easily mix with everyone, of all ages.

Story telling is never easy. Its too difficult to continuously capture the minds of your audience for a long time. They can get easily bored, you have to keep providing sparks to ensure they are listening to you, and they should be able to laugh at your jokes, as well as learn a thing or two. Moral stories are a thing of the past, with a little bit of polishing, you can turn horror stories into stories that come with a message. I'm not a master at it, but I keep trying.

One day, I'd love to write a book on 'Kadalekaayi Kittappa', he lives because of me, he's brought laughter to so many kids, he deserves to be on paper. Lets see..how things work out...is a publisher listening...

Jothe Jotheyali

I fear giving reviews for Kannada movies ... people hardly watch them ... I don't want to be responsible for chasing those few people away from the theaters. But to say the truth, this movie does not deserve any kind of a review.

The movie is all about saving a dying marriage. Characters are few, but none are worth watching. Ramya fails miserably in her acting skills or the lack of it. She speaks a mix of North Karnataka and Mysorean accent, and adds to a lot of discrepancies in the movie. Prem shouts more than he talks, and is a terrible dancer. The comedy makes the entire audience burst out crying. Terrible direction, the theme seems to have been picked out from a pile of flop movie scripts stuffed in a garbage can. Songs are ordinary, Shreya Ghosal and Chaitra have wasted their voices for a movie that is a good contender for the worst movies ever made competition. There are absolutely no positives in the movie, its badly directed, my rating would be just * (poor)

New year ... new ishtyle

Putting it flatly, my new year celebrations have been dreary. Television programmes put up vain attempts to make you laugh ... friends are too far off for access ... its the same old 'musical chair' games outside ... ladies especially are ruthless when it comes to playing this game ... they think its kind of a world cup ... so either me or the chair has to bear the brunt of their power.

I have to just put up a sordid attempt to wake up till 12am, wish everyone at home ... to me new years were nothing special ... the only different thing was, that I had to make sure I wrote '2007' in the 'date' columns of my records.

This time would have to be different. I wouldn't want to punish myself with yet another 'musical chair', and I decided to flee. To my cousins' place ... at Arsikere ... a prominent town ... Hassan district.

It was a pleasant Dec 31st evening. My uncle disrupted my digestive system ... he makes me eat food thats enough for an entire family ... I could hear all the 'idlis' rolling from small intestine to big intestine ... I needed a walk. The Railway station is a popular hang-out ... trains have always fascinated me ... and an evening on a railway platform is more lovely than it sounds. It was almost dark ... Nikhil (little brother), Chaitra (little cousin), Madhuri (the angry cousin), Sudhanva and Kavya - all ranging in ages from 11 to 16 walked with me towards the chaat corner ... paani puris ... that was the main reason I had come to Arsikere ...

It was almost 8pm ... we slowly walked home ... I was wondering ... what would the night be like ... There was a horrible Kannada movie (Jothe Jotheyali) at Venkateshwara theatre ... my cousins were ready ... I was ready ... we were to spend the new Years watching a horrible movie. Chips and chewing gums in hand ... we walked to the theatre ... 19 bucks for a seat in the balcony ... the movie was more worse than I had expected ... Ramya is a bad actress ... full stop ... enter Darshan Tugdeep ... enter the longs and chains ... was a bit of entertainment ... dull songs ... the movie finally came to an end at 11-45pm ... suddenly everyone pounced on me for taking them to an atrocious movie ... I thought I was a responsible guy ... but never thought I would be held responsible for every bad thing that happens ... we slowly walked home.

We hadn't even eaten dinner ... there was nothing at home ... we walked to the railway station again ... thinking we might get some hot idlis to munch ... at 12am ... it was pretty cold ... it was January 1 2007 ... what a new year ... what a celebration ... strangers began walking upto us ... they were wishing us ... funny ... people unite at times of adversity or celebrations ... hungry ... tired ... shivering ... we walked back ... somehow again I was being targetted ... why is the most handsome guy always blamed ...

A man dying of thirst sees an ice-cream parlor in the desert ... we saw something like that ... a bakery ... it was not a mirage ... it was a new year gift ... we picked up a few pineapple cakes ... hugged each other ... and greedily ate it up ... we also did not fail to wish the police-men who patrolled the area ... the cake was nothing for these Arsikere cousins of mine ... they can devour a hippopotamus and still feel hungry ... but the excitement had begun to fizz out ... we reached home ... tucked ourselves warmly under blankets ...

I could still hear an occasional munching sound ... Chaitra and Nikhil endowing themselves some 'Churmuri' ... I did not fail to grab my percentage ... we talked for a long time ... cell phone kept beeping ... wishes kept pouring in ... I missed 2 of my little brothers the most ... at that time ... Bharath and Sumanthu. I was to leave for Bangalore the next day ... that was a deep depression ... but I also did feel like coming back home ... home pitch is where you feel most comfortable ...

I wouldn't say this was my best new year ... after watching that movie ... I certainly couldn't .... my brothers were missing ... my sister Neha was missing ... but I escaped from fighting for the chair with the muscular ladies ... that was the most important part ... I have decided ... new years next time are gonna be strictly with friends or cousins ... not the next door ladies ... they are bad women ...

New year . . . its here

I hate wishing for New Years. Its so obvious. Its the only thing everyone say these days. New Years give you false hopes that things will get better than it was last year. Moreover, our new year falls on 'Ugadi' ... but anyway ... I have had a great 2006 ... so many things happened that affected my life in innumerable ways ... and I'm all the more happy that so many things are about to happen in a few days to come ... so here it goes ... have a very Happy New Year !!!