Suhas says.....

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2008-03-29T20:52:00.011+05:30

All forms of blogging have been temporarily stopped. This is because of certain non-technical reasons.

Your 'convenience' is regretted. Please do not watch this space for sometime. Thank You !

Admit one !

2008-03-14T20:24:00.004+05:30

A couple of movies I watched this week. Some old, some new, but on the whole, mostly dumb ones.

Two I watched on T.V. One was ‘Anand’, this probably for the third time; such a beautiful movie this. Big B and Rajesh Khanna are simply super. Was on Star Gold, it went on till 1-30am. Snored at work the next day.

Salaam Namaste – a big Salaam and a big Namaste to this dumb movie. Everything about this movie is dumb.

Lakshya – probably watched only the second half. Quite watchable. Although Preity looks more like a mental-hospital run-away girl, it’s a pretty decent movie.

Namaste London – what the hell is with these Namaste movies? Someone told me this was a good movie. It’s the dumbest movie in the list of dumb movies. Of course, Katrina is just “!!!!!”, Akshay acts so cheaply to start off, although he gets a lot more decent second-half, the movie does not.

Jodhaa Akbar – it has it all! From ‘Isse davaa ki nahin, duwaa ki zaroorat hai’ to ‘mein apni suhaag ki bheek maangti hoon’. Is it really Ashutosh Gowariker’s product? What an atrocious make! Apart from a pretty decent-looking war scenario in the beginning, there’s nothing else - the movie is a big bore! Like Rajeev Masand says, “A big thumbs down to this movie” and a rating of 1, not because it deserves it, only because I wasted 3.15 hours to watch a husband-wife ‘loves me, loves me not’ saga.

10,000 BC – almost watched this one, but God remembered my good deeds, and prevented me from wasting ‘my’ hard-earned money. But my friend has already done the wasting, so catch his review at http://www.freewebs.com/pavu56/moviereviews.htm

Ergo, a bad week !

And its a blog!

2008-03-04T20:55:00.005+05:30

Oh god no! Neither have i given birth to a baby (i was just kinda busy the last 9 months, so i really wouldn't call it maternity leave), nor is the baby above mine! What would a good wrestler do, if he found someone who can match his prowess. He would welcome them to the arena of course! And i have found not one, but two!

Bharath, my little brother, has given birth to his blog on 27th Feb this year. He's a good writer, but is still hunting for topics. The lucky guy has had lots of outings over the past few weeks, and he's written it all in his blog. The guy's got some good tastes, and you can catch him at:
http://bharathishere.blogspot.com

Akshatha is another one! She's given birth to her blog on 9th Jan this year. The delivery was absolutely normal. She's got the stylish touch in her writing, and if she ever posts something, i'm sure you'd love reading it. 'Random Meandering' its called, and you can catch her at:
http://twowittoo.blogspot.com

Sorry both of you, this happened without your permission, but its blogger ethics to welcome the freshers! No ragging involved though!

Private & Confidential

2008-03-01T19:50:00.003+05:30

I was being interviewed by the HR girl of Reliance Life Sciences. Anything she asked me was in and around blogging. “Why did you feel the need to blog? Why don’t you just write a diary?” she asked. I was a bit perplexed for two reasons. One, she was really pretty, and my eyes stuck to hers; second, this was something I hadn’t thought about myself. Blogging just happened, it did not occur to me, that I have to sit and think about it, weigh the pros and cons, and then decide.

Of course, I always loved writing a diary too. It has a personal touch to it, as it is handwritten. Perhaps I wrote a diary when I was around 12^th. Not really an appropriate time to write one, I can surely say, because college is when the most exciting things happen. Mine was a typical roller coaster ride, and every event in itself could be made into a mega-serial. So what was the problem? Big big problem! What if this diary gets into the hands of wrong people (as in dad & mom)? How can they understand the situation or circumstance, and what I was thinking at that point when I jotted something down? They freaked out, and my diary-writing days came to a sad end. I was even made to tear up the pages, lest some director chanced upon them, and converted them into a multi-starrer movie. I bid good riddance to this dangerous hobby.

Blogging just happened. It was not meant to be a substitute to writing a diary. Of course, with a diary, only those who read it freak out. With a blog, the whole world is gonna freak out (not that I say the whole world reads my blog, I just like to think that way). Although I had to put brakes on what I reveal online, I was mostly honest … and hid very few things. I blatantly revealed the villainous nature of my brother … my dad became soft on me fearing what I’ll write about him … even friends played safe. So, unknowingly, the blog turned out to be a diary … it became a vent for my frustration … an outlet for my joyous feelings … and a tool to get things done my way!

The above 2 paragraphs condensed into a couple of lines was what I told to that HR girl. She was impressed. Although the technical round was a bit challenging, yet the HR girl was impressed, and that made me happy. Even if I didn’t get the job, I would marry her. But things quite did not happen that way; I got the job, but rejected the offer. The HR girl never called me again. But if I ever write a diary … I’ll make it a point to write about the HR girl. Dad, your eyes red again?

Blogger turns 2 today !

2008-02-27T20:28:00.003+05:30

You guys are real fighters! You guys are real survivors! If Darwin’s ‘Survival of the fittest’ holds true, I’m sure Darwin referred to guys just like you. And beyond doubt, this year’s Red and White bravery awards, as well as the Param Vir Chakra go to you. Guess why? My blog has kept making your lives miserable for the past 2 years, and yet you have endured it all successfully.

Yes, this blog has hit a double-century. It has around 13o posts, but my blogging tradition had started over 2 years back. I just happened to delete some of my first 20 posts, as I was not at all satisfied with them. So, in reality, I’ve posted over 150 posts.

From words like – “I’m addicted to your blog” to “Another blog mail from you and you’ll be killed” has kept me going. Of course, the posts I put up ain’t really something I am proud about. Every time I see an article written by a friend, talking about issues, finding solutions to grave problems, trying to make people better than what they are, it irritates me, because all I do is drone about how Katrina and I are made for each other (which is true, by the way). But I hate preaching; of course, I never held back when there was some issue on which I had a strong view about; I’ve openly put it across, but I do understand my blog, to put it bluntly, is a whole pile of trash, decorated with carefully picked words, so that it appears as something readable.

2 ½ years back, I used to hear that blogging was the ‘in’ thing! Just like how almost everyone has a Facebook account today, everyone was turning out to be a blogger. I caught on early with that tradition, and it seemed perfect for someone like me. I have, plenty of times, tried to start off designing web pages of my own, but failed miserably. What started off as a promise of ‘updating daily’, ended up ‘updating never’. Blogging was just the answer I was looking out for.

It took a while to get into the groove. Friends who blogged, helped me through this process. I set out to make my blog, the ‘blog of the century’. Comments became a must, I felt irritated when I did not get any. But by and by, blogging became more of a way to flush things out of my system. Blogging became a ‘full-fledged bathroom’. And of course, it was also a platform to test the new vocabulary I learnt when practicing for GRE.

My cousin Bharath, very soon, will be adopted by the family of bloggers, so do watch out for his posts.

I don’t know the future of my blogging, but I do know that it will happen till I’m so blind, that I can’t see the monitor. Thank you for your patience (I’m sure you have a lot) … do continue groaning when you see my mail in your inboxes … because you see, every blogger derives his inspiration out of that.

Fact / Fiction ?

2008-02-26T21:04:00.002+05:30

You guys know I had been to Chitradurga recently. No no, this certainly is not a report of that, I’m certain you ain’t looking forward to it. There was this tourist guide there, who went on rambling about how the fort used to be, what the rock patterns meant, how the soldiers breached the fort, and blah blah! It made me think, how much of this History we know of, or hear of, is actually true?

Especially for a place like Chitradurga, facts in the form of, perhaps scriptures or in any form available are very little. ThaRaSu, the great Kannada story-writer is said to have written 700+ pages of the Chitradurga Saga from just a piece of paper. Of course, a lot of creativity and imagination went into it; but what if the same amount of creativity and imagination has crept into all those events which we believe actually happened.

At one end, there is this din on whether Ram and the Ram Sethu exist? NASA pictures have actually proved that a bridge does exist between India and SriLanka. The Pandavas have travelled all over India, and left their marks everywhere, or so it is believed. What if none of this is true? What if everything was just a plain old bed time story told to some little brat who refused to sleep? Of course, if this were true, you have to commend the imagination of that mother. Ramayana and Mahabharata are without doubt some of the greatest stories ever written.

But coming back to what I was talking about, I’m sure you can’t entirely dismiss the view that the History we believe in maybe just a figment of imagination. Ever read The DaVinci Code? It tells you some aspects of Christianity that you never dreamt of; I’m not saying it is true, I’m just saying it is possible. The tradition being followed from thousands of years may all end up in vain, if such a thing happens.

I remember this story we had in English literature. The scenario starts off at the time when every living being on earth is killed; the ice age has set in; and nothing is left on earth. Some beings from a distant planet happen to visit earth, and try to gather some evidence to understand how life was on earth. They happen to obtain a video-tape buried deep in snow. The aliens spend a lot of time in research to design a cassette player, and finally they succeed. They watch the video, and then announce their conclusions – “Living beings as we believe on earth, stand erect on their two legs. They are very fast creatures, and always run around in a hurry. They tend to fall from buildings, burn in fires, get hit by moving vehicles, yet nothing seems to happen to them”. As these conclusions are made, the video finally flashes “Walt Disney Corp”.

So, by seeing a 30-minute Mickey-Mouse show, the aliens came to a conclusion about how the earthlings were. What if our History is something like this? All the epics, all the stories we believe actually are true, might just be stories written by some talented writer, who just let his imagination flow. Quite possible, right?

Cheers !

2008-02-20T22:07:00.000+05:30

“One more hurdle for a longer nightlife in Bangalore has been cleared. The home department has given the green signal for the proposal to extend the deadline for pubs from the existing 11.30pm to 1am.”

This is what appeared in the front page of yesterday’s Times of India. I don’t understand why TOI is so bent upon getting Bangloreans drunk. In fact, I really think most Bangloreans aren’t even familiar with the concept of a night-life … it’s a non-native culture.

Ok fine, Bangalore is a multi-ethnic city, we are linguists, and we understand Hindi, English, Tamil and Telugu. We watch all these movies; we celebrate festivals from Holi to Halloweens. Ok fine, I admit, I don’t dance that well (I just drop soap on the bathroom floor, and pretend to step on it unknowingly. If that’s not called dancing, so be it). I’ve never been to a discotheque (ever!). I’ve never been to a pub; if I ever happen to do it (which is probably never), I’d probably order water (and then get kicked out coz I’ll probably ask if they also served masala dosas). So, bottom-line, I don’t understand this ‘nightlife’ concept, and probably I have no right to comment about it.

But with whatever I understand by reading newspapers, reading the crime columns, reading police statistics, and hearing to what friends say, I don’t think we need to have nightlife. That’s not healthy. My friend in college asks “Suhas, Bangalore is such a boring place. If there’s no nightlife, how do you expect us to have fun, relax or beat the stress?” “Sleep” I told her … “Sleep. That’s fun, its relaxing, and is the best stress-buster”. Nature has a way of its own. It keeps us active during the day, asking us to ‘work’. It brings us down in the afternoon, asking us to ‘take it easy, perhaps nap for a while’. Evenings, it makes us ecstatic, telling us to ‘go have fun, shop, eat out, watch a movie, take a walk, dance, sing, and propose to him/her’. Come night, it makes our eyelids droop, and says ‘You had a tiring day. Get some sleep busy-bee’. And experience teaches us, that if nature says it so, better follow it.

Is 1am a time for dancing, and partying, and boozing? Police statistics will tell you how many drunken drivers have run over people sleeping on footpaths, killing them or ending up hurting themselves. Their records will tell you how many cases of sexual harassment have happened around discotheques and pubs midnight, how many murders have been committed, and how many brawls have resulted of this so called ‘nightlife’. And this is not just issues I’m catching from the air. Why do you think the police are so much against this nightlife concept?

11pm deadline is fine. Maybe it is a lot of fun. But have fun till 11pm. Then, come home and sleep. The only people who talk of wanting to have an active nightlife in Bangalore are working in BPOs and Call Centers who have literally spoilt themselves, or papers like TOI which resembles more like a ‘Femina’ or ‘Stardust’ issue, than a ‘proper’ newspaper. These were the guys, who insisted so much on making helmets compulsory (which was absolutely meaningful), these were the guys who started the Lead India Campaign, and these are the guys who think Bangalore needs an extended nightlife. Bullshit !

TaRaSu & The Chitradurga Saga

2008-02-01T19:26:00.000+05:30

I've hardly read any Kannada novels. And before you gather up all the swear-words you want to use against me ... i'm sure most of you would have read very very few Kannada stories, if at all you have read any. Of course, there are exceptions.

The first one i read, and is perhaps my present favorite is 'Grihabhanga' of S.L. Bhairappa. Recently though, I came across a set of 3 books authored by T.R. Subbarao, and they were pretty neat I must say. There's a continuity between the 3 stories, and they are titled:

Kambaniya Kuyilu (Saga of sorrow)
Raktha Raathri (Night of blood)
Thirugu Baana (The revenge)

TaRaSu, as he is popularly known as, is from Chitradurga, as a result of which, most of his historical works are based on Chitradurga. Few people know that TaRaSu dropped out from college, took to smoking and consuming alcohol and was infamously known as Poli Subba. He considered AaNaKru (A.N. Krishna Rao) as his mentor.

These stories I read starts from the political coup of the army chief Dalavaayi Muddanna and his brothers in which they de-throne a palegaara, and ends with a launch of a reposte against Muddanna and his fall.

I don't exactly call these novels as page-turners, as i can identify lots of sections which were way too boring, or spoilt the fun of reading by over-dramatization of both characters and situations. But on a broader note, the story introduces us to the blood-thirsty Muddanna, who charges like a rampaging elephant killing everyone in his path. His power is such that the whole of Chitradurga were left as mute spectators to his gruesome acts. With every sinful act, the reader curses Muddanna, and with every move he makes, the plot gets scarier. There are occasions, such as the end of the first book, where I was hurt, scared, and angry, all at the same time. Such is the characterization ... so realistic, you tend to forget that its just a story. Most of these characters did exist, but the stories told are mostly fictional ... very little history of Chitradurga is known.

TaRaSu scores in readability. But his overwhelming use of similes and metaphors jars the modern reader who is accustomed to reading to-the-point writing styles.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T.R._Subba_Rao

The kite flies high !!

2008-01-28T19:57:00.000+05:30

I don't care who the lead actor or actress is. Just tell me who the cinematographer is. And who's the lyricist ? And who's composed the music ? Yeah ... this is the era of Kannada movies, and this is its present trend. Yograj Bhatt, a director who can cast a bunch of not-so-good-looking actors and actresses, a director who doesn't pay much attention to the story-line, yet captures the heart of the audience, simply with his astounding cinematography, location choice, heart rendering music and wonderful songs.

After reading a bad review of Gaalipata in Vijaya Karnataka, cousins and me went to the theater with a not-so-good feeling. We did not want a stupid movie to spoil our otherwise ecstatic mood. Lights off ... A/C on ... and the kite starts flying. 3 spoilt brats. Seems like Dil Chahta Hai. But its way different from it, although ideas seem to have been inspired from DCH. And there is also a lot of 'Mungaaru Male' touches to this movie.

Don't ask me what the story is. Anant Nag and Rangaayana Raghu are just way too awesome. Ganesh's dialogues are probably the best ... every college student would identify with what he says. Diganth ... well, not such a good actor, but he plays the clown's role well, and suits his character. Rajesh is fine, except for his not-needed beard. The actresses are ordinary, except Daisy. But Daisy too, you'll find, to be very reclined and silent. Probably the movie needed that.

But, the important thing is, none of this affects the movie. You'll be blown looking at the picturesque landscapes ... the hills ... the rain ... the mist ... the cliffs ... the mighty Cauvery Falls ... everything is shot to perfection. If Jog stunned you in Mungaaru Male, this probably is gonna give you a stroke. You think you are sitting one instant ... and the next ... you just feel weightless, floating amidst the clouds ... like a kite ...

Few actors ... but good actors ... witty lines ... excellent music by Harikrishna ... Sonu Nigam's voice ... it has it all ...

The movie lacks a story ... that's one area Yograj keeps failing ... yet he covers that up with stunning cinematography ... Baikal Fort, Kodachadri, Bluff (Gaganachukki & Barachukki falls) being the locations ... you can look at these places from such angles you never dreamt of !!

Yeah the wild-boar is way too artificial ... Yeah the movie lacks a story ... Yeah the actors ain't that good looking ... but so what ? If a movie is supposed to entertain you, if a movie is supposed to thrill you, if a movie is supposed to make you laugh, and if you think a movie is a good one if you emerge out of the theater with big smiles ... Gaalipata does fall into the category of a good movie. But if you want to believe the duffer who gave Gaalipata a bad review in Vijaya Karnataka, the very same writer who praised 'Sivaji' as though it was the best movie of the century ... you are losing out on one of a very good Yograj Bhatt product.

Our parents still talk of Rajkumar movies, calling it a golden era of our film industry. Then came a series of such atrocious movies, it was scary to even talk about our movies. This, i think, is yet again, one of those golden era that aged people keep talking about. This will be the era you are gonna mention to your kids and grandkids again and again. Watch Gaalipata ... and fall in love, all over again !!

All play and no work !!

2008-01-23T19:57:00.000+05:30

Mom says i've got a job. But i still feel that i'm going to some one-month certificate course, at the end of which i'll be given a certificate, and a whole month's vacation. Of course, the transition from a college guy who went to classes when he was free, who arranged his own dates for internal exams, who regarded every visit to the canteen as a potential date opportunity, to someone working under the mercy of someone else, takes a lot of time.

I think i was on time to work, only first day. Ever since, things have gotten only worse. Of course, the register proudly displays a sincere 9-30am entry time everyday. The terms and guidelines of the company did not state which clock's time i'm supposed to follow. First thing i do as i check in is, throw smiles to my colleagues ... and then go on to explain why their life sucks. Then i grab onto some chai-biskoot.

One weird thing at work is, everyone's so involved in what they do. How can this be ? When we used to write records in college, we often gossiped so much ... about how Katrina looks stunning in a red outfit ... about why UN aid is making poor people lazy ... about Google services and their drawbacks - literally everything. But work was different. People just work. No small talk. Things had to change ... and to change a system, you need to change yourselves first. That, i did. Changed into this blabber-mouth, and kept everyone busy, talking. Perhaps my boss thinks i'm some cameo trying to mess up his employees' minds. But who cares ?

After all that, I work. Honestly. Until the clock comes to 12-55pm. No not lunch time yet, 1pm is supposed to be the official lunch-time. But i fly off home five minutes earlier. And i come back ten minutes late. As usual, the register entries are perfect. Out time - 1pm. In time - 2pm.

After some chatting again, i resume work. Then, i start falling asleep. There have been times when i have slumped over the computer ... and almost fell asleep. Of course, the coffee keeps me awake. And lots of biscuits to eat ... they come in plenty of varieties ... sometimes the manager blesses us with a couple of sweets too. As the clock strikes 5 (why the hell do they have clocks in offices ?) ... my frustration starts. I still have to put 90 minutes ... the clock stops after 5pm ... it gets horrible. I play Minesweeper, Solitaire and Hearts. There's also RoadRash, Commandos 2 and NFS 2 on my system, but i haven't played 'em yet. Internet's blocked, or else i'd have downloaded a couple of movies.

By the time its 6-30pm ... i would have lost weight. I look at the clock, the clock looks at me. And finally its 6-25pm. Yeah, i leave five minutes earlier. The register ... perfect ! Poor colleagues of mine still work, probably till 7pm ... to clear all their backlogs ... atleast i dont have to think about that this month. I have done much worse things. Saturday's a full day ... but i've taken special permission for half-a-day ... i waste toilet paper ... i've installed a few flash games on my comp ... i keep changing wallpapers everyday ... next month, i'm planning to work from home. If work was this fun, i wouldn't have bothered studying !!

Gaalipata

2008-01-21T20:20:00.000+05:30

Gaalipata review coming soon !!
Watch this space........................

When the phone rang...

2008-01-21T19:16:00.000+05:30

I was threatened to write this post. There is no iota of doubt in this ... I type on the keyboard with a Jerifo 941 F 9mm gun pressed against my temporal lobes. Writing this post meant, dusting off some of my old mischievous moments, and re-living those horrible experiences again.

This was in school ok, I was in 10th. We used to have trouble in gender-identification in our class, as most girls were too loud and tom-boyish. But of course, we found solace in the neighboring bunch of juniors ... the 9 'A' class ... they hosted some of the cutest girls of our school ... they were a complete package ... smart ... stunning to look ... and the next-door-girl feel. Stealing their phone numbers used to be our extra-curricular activity, and a lot of bribing, threatening, and peeping was involved in the process.

After some really hard work and smart-thinking ... my friends smuggled the number of a girl whom we shall call "A" ... since I was the only one who boasted of a phone which I could use to my wish and will (long phone bills not being such a major issue at home) ... the number was given to me ... to try my luck ... !!

There's this other girl ... you know, the kinda girl whom every guy at school wants to seduce ... she's on Orkut, and her name begins with "N" ... so you can still try your luck ... so, we had tried calling this girl too, but 10 out of 10 times, her mom picked up the call, and conversations went like this:

Me: Hello
N's mom: Hello
Me: May I speak to "N" ?
N's mom: Why ?
Me: Huh ?
N's mom: Why ?

That's it !! And i was pretty damn sure my conversation with "A" would just be the same. Or so I thought. I had to use a fake name ... obviously !! I made-do with "Rahul". Why Rahul ? That was a trendy name ... Rahul was there in Dil Toh Pagal Hai ... Rahul was there in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai ... Rahul meant 'cool'. And surprise surprise, "A" fell for it. I asked whether she'd like to be friends, and she says "Yes". It felt for a moment, that someone punched me on my ears. Was this really happening ? Oh, yes it was. And there began our conversations ... talked about a whole lot of rubbish ... "A" began liking Rahul's character, but was she liking me ?

She realized that "Rahul" was a fake name ... who wouldn't ... especially after you call home, ask for Rahul, and you hear "Wrong Number". I knew my demise was nearing ... yet I tried to hang on ... and then came the fateful day ... Valentine's !! Valentine's Day would have been just any other day ... I would have had a bad-hair-day ... my shoes would become muddy for all the football i play ... i would forget to brush my teeth that evening, again ... Math would get more puzzling ... and I would sleep after I watch Dexter's Lab ... bottom-line, Valentine's involved nothing pertaining to what it was meant to be !! But this Valentine's was going to be different...

Got a call around 4 in the evening - sweet voice ... caller asks "Will you be my Valentine ?" Ok i'm used to getting calls from banks, from insurance companies, from friends who have a problem with Pythagoras theorem, but not this. I lived a very simple life, and this was not meant to happen. I borrowed some time to decide ... and kept the phone. 2 minutes later, another call ... another name ... same voice ... same question. And then, the phone kept ringing. Johnny Depp wouldn't have received as many calls as I did that day. Dad gave me such looks ... I was sure another call, and I'L have to sleep on the foot-path that night.

Sometime late evening, when I wasn't at home, this girl calls again. Talks to my mom, asks a few questions, confirms my identity ... and the game's over. I'm caught. I dunno what made "A" give my number to her classmates, I was pestered with phone calls that evening, but in the end ... my secret identity was exposed. "A" remained cool ... she wasn't going to the police station ... but that put an end to our phone-call business ... school was over ... I never saw her again ... "A" mails me once in a while ... i miss everything of school now ... i'm hoping "A" has forgiven me for that stupidity ... but i still feel ... if mom hadn't wrecked my carefully built sand castle ... "A" and me would have been married ... and she'd be giving birth to her 11th kid ... we'd have 5 sons and 6 daughters ... and i would name my last daughter in the memory of "N" ... the girl with whom my phone conversations never started !!

I'm guessing the gun's off my head now ... am glad its out of my system ... i wouldn't want "A" to bear this grudge over me about what I did ... and run me over with her Scooty Pep or whatever ... so Miss. "A" ... happy now ?

Men at work...

2008-01-02T19:43:00.001+05:30

No praying to God ... no falling to parents' feet ... no vermilion on forehead ... I tried to look as handsome as possible (believe me, its very difficult) ... I walked to 'Cosmic Strands' ... my first day at work

Venue: Office; Status: Office closed. What the hell ? Have they shifted for the sole reason that I joined their group ? My colleagues slowly began coming, at around 9-30am. I casually walked inside ... tea was served ... I guess sugar is generally not used in offices ... i gulped down the hot water ... Oh i mean tea ... looked around ... saw 2 females ... Cynthia, the chubby girl, and Madhura, the one who was happy to know that I was a Kannadiga !! After a small chat with them, I was asked to move to the seminar hall. A lecture. Yawn !!!!

The director happened to be a good teacher. He made the talk as interesting as possible. The other people who were newbies consisted of a DehraDun girl, a certain Ritu and a certain Raj. Raj had the eyes of Sanjay Dutt ... so not wanting to take chances with him on the first day, I decided to talk to Ritu. Seeing Ritu and Raj talk to each other, I innocently asked "Do you people know each other?" "Yeah" Ritu replied, "Raj is my husband". End of chatting !!

If that wasn't enough ... I had to blabber again ... "Oh, when is this man sending us for lunch?" Ritu replied, with a smirk "That man, is my father". So, the daughter and son-in-law of the manager are here, with me, and I am supposed to learn with them. Great start Suhas, great start !!

I came home for lunch ... then back ... a little more lecture ... a CS Handbook was given ... the manager ... Ganesh Bhatt i think ... asks me to listen to songs when working, to reduce the work-pressure. I registered this in my mind ... tomorrow I carry 2 big speakers and a sub-woofer, and will blast a Dard-E-Disco song full volume !!

Work went on till 6-30pm ... was so hungry i could eat the manager's entire family ... rushed home ... end of work day 1 ... felt real tired ... but also felt like a grown up !! To all those girls who keep asking me to grow up ... how is it ?

Welcome to Welcome

2008-01-01T18:57:00.000+05:30

What the hell made me watch this movie ? Free movie tickets, and pop-corn of course !! For the first time, I went to watch a movie without checking if I had any green bills left in my pocket. Its similar to how a girl goes to watch a movie ... put on some jeans, a touch-up of some fairness cream ... and she's ready ... she can go empty-handed, and yet come back with a heavy stomach. So, in that way, my sponsor Pavan, must have felt like repaying my kindness (as I let him free with all his so called girlfriends without becoming a kebab-mein-haddi).

And, for the first time, I never knew the cast of the movie. As I looked up at the poster, I was dumbstruck. Katrina and Mallika, with Malaika Arora in a guest-appearance. "Mom, all your daughter-in-laws are right here in this poster". Ok, lets talk about the movie.

Supposed to be a fun-riot ... the riot was there ... the fun, in bits and pieces. The first-half, I must say, was pretty good. Paresh Rawal continued to play the 'clown' to perfection. Nana Patekar, was at his usual best. Anil Kapoor was outstandingly stylish and flamboyant. Asrani kept making appearances now and then. Akshay was fun too ... but talk about Katrina ... she finished me off. One moment I was safe on the seat, enter Katrina, and I slumped to the floor; onlookers must have thought I suffered a stroke ... I might have ... my heart beat like our school band on Sports Day. Every time she smiled, I pictured myself doing a 'Dard-e-Disco' song with her. She looked so picture perfect ... I'm sure you'll find her pic beneath millions of pillows all around the world (not mine ... I dont have a pillow, I live in extreme penurious conditions ... please donate money).

The first half smoothly sailed by ... the girls bought us pop-corn ... and I munched greedily, lest they changed their mind, and took it back. The second half, was gone with the wind. The momentum was lost, and trying to find a story, would be like searching for an eye lens in KR Market. Mallika Sherawat badly over-acts ... and I am sure Johnny Lever is more sexier than her. She is an unwanted liability to every movie ... and needs to be dubbed as an outcast. But Katrina ... the only thing that stays put is her smile ... she smiles, and I am ready to bring a piece of the moon-rock for her. Akshay Kumar is pretty ok ... nothing extra-ordinary ... but he never over-acts in this movie ... thats cool. Oh I forgot the villain boss ... Feroz Khan ... typical villain ... white bald head ... he's ok, atleast he looks better than his son.

A time-pass movie ... watch it if you have fought with your wife, and looking for a cheap way to set things right ... take your girlfriend to the movie, and she'll forgive you for forgetting her birthday ... but don't look for sense in this movie ... it lacks it ... completely !!

My rating: * * 1/2

The e - Factor

2007-12-31T12:52:00.000+05:30

I had been to my native's recently. Over-sleeping, living in a restaurant kind of house, where you can get all the food you want, gully-cricket, an evening visit to the Chaat corner, hitting the railway station bench and watching the sun set, revealing secrets, a walk back home in the chilling cold, munching on some capsicum puffs, watching TV sprawled on the floor, popping in some more chur-muri, delicious dinner, and finally hitting the bed, but not to sleep ... to chat ... talk your heart out, until the goddess of sleep envelops us, or the clock strikes 4am, and we close our eyes, dreaming of a visit to the village the next day ... the coconuts ... the village kids ... the slow life. That's the usual native experience.

This time ... all of the above were there ... coupled with sudden emotional outbursts ... nature paints a rosy picture of the life of everyone else surrounding us ... but little do we realize that behind every laughter, there could be an ocean of tears, hidden, and held. What we talked ain't really important, but suddenly, everyone felt this urge to reveal their carefully guarded emotions. Tears fell like tiny raindrops ... as everyone revealed their imperfections. I was not spared too ... in fact I was the first one to lose my composure. But what the heck makes us reveal our closest secrets to someone else ? And is this expression of an emotional outburst really healthy ?

One such SMS i got said "Never be too much expressive to anyone close to you because that might reduce the value of your emotions". Its obvious. Who would take seriously, such a person, who ends up crying at the drop of a pin ? When a person cries over his situation, to him/her, it is as big as the sky falling on top of us (or Himesh acting in a new movie). But little do we realize, that there are million others, who probably face situations a hundred times more grave than this, and yet, are a hundred times more composed. "I was crying that I did not have shoes, until I met a man on the street with no feet" says it all. An emotional outburst generally does not occur due to any one reason; its a pile-up of every event that causes a disturbance, and when the time is ripe, or the head can't hold it longer, it leaks out, or bursts open. Think about it another day, and you feel that you were being just plain stupid. And, tears carry value. They are priceless emotions. But if tears flow like a storm water drain in the rainy season, it does not necessarily achieve its objective. Wouldn't figuring out a problem, ourselves, be a better option, than creating a scene in front of everyone ?

But there's another view. Hiding emotions never did good to anybody. If a man can't laugh when he's happy or cry when he's sad, what's the difference between him and any other animal in the lower species ? And aren't emotions the only way to connect two people without actually saying anything ? Perhaps, not everyone's sensitive enough to figure out their problems, and may actually depend on an external support. In fact, I say this based on my own experiences, it ain't even necessary to ask someone for help. Sometimes, all it needs is, to talk to someone. People generally don't like advice, they just want someone to listen to them ... the burden gets reduced through the words and tears. Its said that "Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts". There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so. And, when such 'thinking' becomes an addiction, it puts one into a vicious circle. Active discussion, in whatever form, can attempt to put a person out of such a circle. So what if a few tears are shed in the process, its known that shedding tears is healthy. Sometimes, there are things that can't be said to parents, talking it out with friends or your closed ones, is much better.

I have no idea which view to adopt. Perhaps, a good balance of both. If you feel like eating a chocolate, go eat it ... wear the outfit you've been dying to wear ... laugh your heart out when you are happy ... cry if you feel like to ... there is no cure for birth or death ... we just have to enjoy the interval in between !!

Stars are here.....

2007-12-30T20:49:00.000+05:30

In today's world ... working smart is more important than working hard. This is the latest 'mantra' i have adopted. Why bother writing reviews for movies ... I gave a good review for Om Shanti Om ... and had to face the inferno of curses from all my friends and relatives. No taking such chances again ... this review is written by my little brother whom we shall call Sumanthu (as it is his name named by his biological parents). Sumanthu and another cousin ... the chocolate hero Vikki accompanied me to this movie, which is about stars crashing into the earth, and causing eternal destruction, but love rejuvenates a withering planet. Ok, you better hear the review from Sumanthu's own words (but proof-read by me)...

The movie revolves around childhood, specially about those children, who are a little different, and have to fight to get adjusted in this so called normal world. It teaches us, that children have their own world, and we should not ruin it, because of our (the parents') over-expectations. The movie is about a special child who fights his way through lots of hurdles. The pace of the movie is pretty slow.

Being Aamir Khan's directorial debut, the movie revolves around Ishaan Awasthi (Darsheel Safary), who is a fun-loving child. He lives in his own world (as most children do), but is a little different as he finds it hard to match his imagination with children of his own age-group. His parents find it difficult to handle him, and finally send him to a boarding school. There he faces his worst nightmare, as being away from parents, he loses his self-confidence. Ram Shankar Nikumbh, i.e. Aamir Khan, a temporary art teacher at school, who has his own unique way of teaching children, finds that apart from Ishaan, every other child responds enthusiastically to his style. The more and more he studies Ishaan, the more and more he realizes that, he is not just seeing Ishaan, but actually a mirror-image of himself. Ishaan is a drowning boat, and Ram Shankar Nikumbh is the last straw of hope.

The subject of the movie is simple, predictive story-line and slow. The silence in the movie, though very meaningful, at times puts the audience in a restive mood. But bottomline, Aamir has succeeded in giving us a respectable movie to watch and talk about. Dyslexia never means that the child cannot lead a normal life. Although the flow is predictable, you shall immediately connect with the child, and his every emotion runs analogous with the emotions of the audience. This movie explains a part of life which many parents overlook, but is very mandatory to understand.

Performance of the child, Darsheel Safary is stunning, even more commendable than Aamir's performance himself. When Darsheel cries, the audience cries. The connection is that strong.

My rating: * * * 1/2

Suhas: Inspite of the dragging pace of the movie, the little child performs so exuberantly, you'll consider yourself lucky to have watched him act.

Rating: * * *

Pavan: A thought-provoking movie worth wasting every bit of your dad's hard earned fortune

Rating: * * * * 1/2

Vikki: A movie that is fun to watch

Rating: * * *

Ishita: Movie kuch khaas nahin hai, but the little child is really cute

The show goes on...

2007-12-14T13:37:00.000+05:30

Few more movies I got to watch this week. Again, as usual, most of them were repeats. The list of those movies I really wanted to watch is still growing ... its almost 2 movies a day now !!

Forrest Gump: I can watch this again and again and again, and yet never stop crying. Its one of those movies, that you'll pay for and get an original DVD, and treasure it. I owe my discovery of Tom Hanks to Forrest Gump. A movie, with no structure, yet keeps you occupied forever.

My ratings: * * * * *

Armageddon: Believe it or not, I hadn't watched this. Its a typical American movie. "Its mass extermination, nothing will survive, not even bacteria !!" and "Houston, we have a problem here" elaborates the amount of exaggeration this movie provides. But its a fun movie, that you'll sit back and enjoy. You will not be thrilled by the American patriotism exhibited, you will not take your hats off at the sacrifice of Bruce, you will not shed a tear in the ocean of sentiments that makes its presence felt in between the story-line, in fact, you'll hold your stomach and laugh, at some of the most serious dialogues. Really fun movie.

My ratings: * * *

Guru: 2nd time. Loved the little B in this movie. And loved Mithunda. In fact, and most surprisingly, I liked Aishwarya Rai in this movie. You've seen my review, probably I liked it more the second time, as it made more sense ... shares, debentures and all

My ratings: * * *

Yet to watch: Pirates of Caribbean 2 & 3, Bourne Ultimatum, Memento, Just my luck and a few more...

The sisters...

2007-12-07T11:50:00.000+05:30

I continue writing about my cousins, and I introduce 2 of my little sisters to you. They happen to be my mom's brother's daughters ...

The elder one's Madhuri. A 12th standard student, outwardly very silent, shy-natured, sweet-smiled, gentle-in-movement, and a two-goody shoes. But I know what she really is, a brat of course. You can't argue and win with this girl. A debate champ. Her dialogue delivery is to-the-point and straight-forward. Her temper is as cold as a blast furnace. And somehow, I end up as a victim of her flares. We both fight like political parties, we can't stand each other's presence, we don't invite each other to our places, yet we have a blast when together, we talk till 3am every time we meet, and me irritating her, and she blasting me is mandatory in every get-together.

The younger one, few already know her, is Chaitra. She's my all-time favorite. Cousins have often blamed me for my biased opinions on her, but i'm sorry, i can't help it. Unlike her sister, Chaitra has nothing to hide. She is a tom-boy and she makes you realize that in the first meeting itself. She knows no manners, she says "Yeno le" even to a person double her age. She's just around 12, but talks like a college girl. She guides me on 'what a girl wants', on 'what a girl means when she says something', and the most important aspect, 'what to gift a girl on her birthday'. We have the longest conversations, that go beyond 4-30am. She's the sister I always wished I had. Very straight-forward, she can never hide anything from anyone. If she talks less, you know something's wrong with her. She's got so many dimensions, I'm real amazed. She's got a lovely voice, eats like a rakshasi, she has no problems eating ice candies when she has fever and cough, and amazingly she ends up feeling better. She's a lovely painter, you should see the way she paints landscapes, and skies !!

A good cricketer, good at fighting, she can hurt real bad. Most practical, yet, sometimes, she shows you that she's still a 12-year old kid (especially when she runs around putting bubble-gum tattoos on her face). The most amazing sister and a best friend, thats Chaitra.

Sorry once again, a clear bias towards Chaitu, but you know it, i can't help it...

Show-time

2007-12-07T11:36:00.001+05:30

Watched a couple more 'old' movies this week. Most of them were repeats, but anyway...

Pirates of the Caribbean - Curse of the Black Pearl: First of the 3 movies, interesting, good sound effects (inspite of my ailing home theater), good movie. 3.5 star movie

Bhool Bhulaiya: Inspite of my heroic efforts to watch this movie in a theater, things quite did not work out that way, so I had to settle for watching it on my comp. A flick from 'Aptamitra', or 'Chandramukhi' or what you will. Could not help but compare it to the Kannada version. The surround-sound music effects of the Kannada version (thanks to Gurukiran) is thoroughly lacking here. Few changes in characterizations, but overall, its the same. Akshay Kumar is only half comparable to Vishnuvardhan. Vidya Balan tries her best, but still falls short in comparison to Soundarya. 2.5 star movie

Swades: Watching it for the 3rd time, first time on T.V. Loved it. SRK's performance is really laudable. He appears so decent, dressed so appropriately, talks so maturely, and not once does he give his crazy laughters, or his cry-baby tears. One of my favorite SRK-movie. The movie in itself, is pretty good. 3.5 star movie

Ankita...

2007-12-06T20:17:00.000+05:30

Ok this post was written with reference to a query posted by a certain 'Ankita'. I don't even know who you are, you haven't even mentioned your e-mail id, so I am only hoping that you are reading this piece of article.

Its true when you say 16-years of education is necessary to apply for a master's course in US. But actually speaking, its a very confusing issue. There are universities, which say that 4-year undergraduate education is mandatory, whereas here, UG courses are only for 3-years. A PG-Diploma, some certificate course, or any other 1-year program, may not be accepted by all universities. Some universities accept courses only done under accredited universities.

However, offlate, the 3-year UG course, done under an accredited university (like BU) is being accepted in US. The education system is very flexible in US, and as long as they are convinced that you have completed your UG course, you can have no problems. Some universities also accept one-year work experience as the 16th year, and grant admissions. If you are applying for MBA, work experience is very much recommended (although not totally compulsory). But to apply for MS, lots of universities are accepting 15-years of education.

So there are 2-views to this issue. The only way you can resolve it, is to write a mail to the university you intend to apply for. One good thing about US Universities is that, they respond to all your mails. Keep in touch, and wish you luck !!

Studying abroad !

2007-11-28T19:28:00.001+05:30

For the first time, my blog's creating History. This post is educational. It is about how costly education abroad can be, to dissuade you from such ideas, and ergo, to lessen the competition I have to face. So, how many of those Gandhi notes would one need, to study somewhere abroad? And what documents are necessary? Here is something you can refer...

Lets say you are planning for the Fall Session that begins around August. The Fall Session is when, most admissions happen, and getting a scholarship is most likely.

You have to start planning 10-12 months in advance. Collecting documents in itself, might take you a whole month or even more. Preparation for tests like GRE takes 2-3 months. For TOEFL preparation, about 2 weeks are good enough. You need to book your GRE and TOEFL dates well in advance, September-December is the hot-season for taking these tests, and dates run out like tickets of a cricket match. For booking dates, and other details, refer http://www.ets.org

To take up GRE, you have to pay a fee of $170. For TOEFL it is $150 (Fees are subject to change). So it comes up to 6800/- and 6000/- respectively. In case you go for GRE tuitions (which is not really required), it costs you anywhere between 7,000 to 10,000 bucks.

Barrons is best for GRE and an Indian edition costs you around 300/- bucks. Kaplan is good for TOEFL iBT preparation, and it costs you around 960/- bucks. There are plenty of resources available online, make the best use of it. But don't confuse yourself referring too many books, stick to one book, but practice well.

Then there are a whole lot of documents to collect. Transcripts are most important; transcripts are nothing but registrar-attested copies of your marks cards, and your degree certificate, put inside a cover, and once again attested by the registrar to ensure genuineness. In my case, our university charged me 180/- per copy of transcript. When you order for transcripts, better take a few extra copies, as you may need them even during your Visa interview. Taking transcripts is a big tiresome adventure, especially in a university such as the Bangalore University, and believe me, you'd want to go there only once. I am applying for 5 universities, and I took 10 transcripts of B.Sc and 10 of M.Sc (5 extra for each degree). All together, they cost me about 3600/- bucks.

Banks might charge a nominal fee of 500/- to provide Bank Statements and Affidavit of Support.

Application fee of each university is generally from $0 to $60, sometimes even more. Take $50 as average. Further, since you need to send all your documents by post, it might cost your pocket 1000/- bucks per university, as courier charges. If you take the help of counsellors, they charge you around 10,000/- bucks, and help you with finalizing a list of universities, filling out applications and further follow-up.

Bottomline, keep a figure of Rs. 50,000/- as initial expenditure, the expenses required to register for the tests, and to apply for a course, in 5 universities (to be safe). Further expenses might include Visa fees (around Rs.5,000/-), shopping, flight-charges, tuition fees (which varies from university to university, from $10,000 to $30,000 per annum, sometimes even more; tuition waivers not taken into consideration), and accommodation charges (varies between on and off campus dorms). I have not reached this stage yet, so don't bother asking me.

Any specific queries, I'll surely help you ... just frequently buy me some Pani Puris, and you should have no problems.

Documents you might need to apply include the following:

S.No	Name of Document	Remarks
01	Official transcript	Registrar-attested copies of marks card and degree certificate, enclosed in a sealed registrar-attested envelope
02	Recommendation Letters	From 3 academicians where the student studied, or did a project, or worked. On letterheads, duly signed in each copy, and given in sealed covers
03	GRE and TOEFL score report	Official ETS score reporting has to be done by the student to respective Universities and Departments
04	Bank Statement (or Capability certificate)	To be given on bank-letterhead with banker seal and signature, amount to be mentioned equivalent to US$, i.e. minimum US$ 30,000 (amount varies from university to university). Original statements to be submitted in sealed covers
05	Affidavit of Support (a sponsor certificate stating that he/she will be sponsoring the student, and that they have enough financial resources to bear the tuition fee and living expenses)	Original notarized on Rs.20 non-judicial stamp paper and duly signed. Affidavit of Support has to be given by the person who has provided the Bank statement (Sponsor)
06	Statement of Purpose	Maximum of 2 pages and duly signed by the student
07	Copy of Passport	First and Last page
08	Photographs (Passport size)
09	Bio-data	Mandatory
10	Work experience certificate	If applicable
11	Project certificates and Extra curricular certificates	If any

Tying the knot...

2007-11-28T18:10:00.001+05:30

A close friend recently got married. As I held her invitation card in hand, I seriously felt this must be some prank that all my friends suddenly had decided to play on me, who are so wonderful people wanting to see me cry every now and then. I walked inside, what looked like a marriage choultry ... but hey !! Even naming ceremonies are celebrated in such big halls these days ... and I for myself, could never believe that my friend could get married ... to me, she was the girl, who snuggles up a teddy every night before she goes to sleep. The firs thing I did when I met her was, ask her. Whether she got married that morning. 'Yes Suhas' she said. I eventually had to believe it ... nobody could spend so much money ... to play a gag on me, and make me feel stupid. In fact, I don't think it involves any expenditure at all.....

Marriage is often mentioned analogous to my name. So, my friends are getting their marital status changed. But, dad doesn't seem to seriously consider my marriage as a significant phenomenon. I have been showing every other photo to Arya proclaiming her to be his aunt ... apparently he's totally confused himself. Obviously, what could a 10-month old kiddo do when his aunt keeps changing every minute. 'Why do you want to get married?' is the next question I face. And i don't blame the people who ask me that. Their doubts are understandable. Why would somebody want to put an end to his happy life ? There are reasons...

A wife calls you the 'most handsome hunk' even when you have chicken-pox !!
She shops for your dresses, when you can take time off to chat with your girl-friend
I need someone to blame for my bad luck
I want to make those guys i see in traffic signals, sitting on their bikes alone, jealous !!
I feel like hitting someone right now

There you go ... I like living my life dangerously (2nd time I said it this week) ... and I said all those things that ought to provoke the feminism in every girl. At least they'll call me now, or better, give me a visit in person.

So before any of you start calling me a 'maniac', let me tell you; marriage is still out of the question. My mom thinks i'm handsome, sister-in-law shops for my dresses, i blame brother for my bad luck, i now travel in buses, and I can hit Arya anytime I want to.

Yeah ! My friend got married for sure ... I now believe it ... it just doesn't sound alright at first; someone who's hair you used to pull, is now a Mrs. Someone. But I have friends who remind me that we are grown-ups now, some remind me to grow-up, and some just pull out an occasional white hair, and I realize it myself.

Beowulf

2007-11-27T21:41:00.001+05:30

In a legendary time of heroes, the mighty warrior Beowulf battles the demon Grendel and incurs the hellish wrath of the beast’s ruthlessly seductive mother. Their epic clash forges the timeless legend of Beowulf.

Groundbreaking director Robert Zemeckis offers a unique vision of the Beowulf saga in a way that it has never been told before. “Beowulf” stars RAY WINSTONE in the title role and ANTHONY HOPKINS as the corrupt King Hrothgar, as well as JOHN MALKOVICH, ROBIN WRIGHT PENN, BRENDAN GLEESON, CRISPIN GLOVER, ALISON LOHMAN and ANGELINA JOLIE as Grendel’s mother. Neil Gaiman (the graphic novel “Mirrormask,” “Sandman”) & Roger Avary (“Pulp Fiction”) have adapted the legend to the screen.

The animation looks so real, I was left wondering whether a few scenes were truly animated, or was it just my imagination. But the movie is worth watching, only if you have 'enough' to afford an Imax or a multiplex. Watch it on a DVD at home, and you'll think the Popeye show was better. The deafening silence in some scenes, and the thunderous clashes between the protagonist and the monster is really a thrill to watch.

My rating: *** 1/2

Mother knows it all.....

2007-11-26T13:04:00.000+05:30

I found this piece of article in some dusty box ... remembering it as my own work, that I had written way back in School, when I was in the seventh standard, as a possible entry to the School magazine, and being badly and outrightly rejected, I decided to 'blog' it ... no one can reject my write-ups in my blog, other than myself ... this piece is about the perils a young boy has to undergo after he wets his bed. The article does not indicate that I suffer from a bed-wetting problem, and therefore, should not be used against me. Here it goes...

The night was cold. The blankets were lying on the floor. Its too dark to see anything. Outside, a light mist covers the sky. Inside, everything is motionless, plunged into a deep silence. Occasional sounds of coughs can be heard outside; at times a guard passes by with a shrill whistle. You can sleep no more; there is a sense of urgency, a feeling of pain and frustration, and uneasiness. You are too scared to get up, to walk through the dark corridor. Who knows what’s hiding behind the closed door, what evil force would cast its spell on you, and therefore you lay where you are. Then, there is a moment of relief, and you sleep. Sleep – that’s put you into a state of unconsciousness. Its all over now. The cool breeze has decreased the temperature. Your body can’t withstand any longer. The dam breaks, and you have wet your bed again. It strikes you the first thing in the morning. The night was eerie, the morning would be even worse. Now, mom seems to be scarier than the devil.

Isn’t it really embarrassing, when you wet your bed?? Especially when you are slowly growing and maturing. It ensures a good night’s sleep, but its discovery is the most horrible part. Mom complains the clothes don’t dry fast during winters, but does the poor body understand that? What does she know about the dark world and the devils that lurk behind bathroom doors in the middle of the night? Wouldn’t it be just great if mom never realized that you have soaked your bed?

First, there’s the mark. A distinct wavy pattern, a work of art, a natural masterpiece. Friction causes heat. Heat evaporates liquids. Sorry, Physics cannot be applied here. How much ever you rub your body against it, it just doesn’t evaporate. It makes you wonder how large rivers and lakes go dry during summers. Its power is such that it can penetrate through layers and layers of bed-sheets. Some even try ironing the bed when mom’s busy. Will it work? No – smell doesn’t evaporate so quickly.

Then, there are your clothes. Wet, wet, wet. Hiding them won’t do. Mom knows the colour and design of all your inner-wears. She’ll catch you in a minute.

If these weren’t enough, you carry along with yourself a distinct smell, a smell that is way beyond the fragrance of flowers, a smell that is much stronger than the smell of the first rain, and a smell that reaches your mom’s nose first.

Switch on the fan – full speed – in vain. Spill water on bed purposely – you are only making matters worse. Cover the bed with books and bags – mom is the first person to clean them, and she’ll soon discover her son’s talent. Exchange places with your younger brother or sister – mom will check your clothes, and ground you for 2 misdeeds.

Then what will work? Sorry, this is not an essay to teach you new tricks. This is just an attempt to say – “Nothing will work”. Sorry to disappoint you. Mother knows it all. You can commit a murder and escape law, but you can never escape from mother. So, the next time you sleep, make sure you go the toilet first; because its not the devil that is watching you – its your mother. Your very own mother, because “Mother knows it all”.

Movie-week

2007-11-24T22:31:00.000+05:30

Me saw a few movies this week. Don't ask me reviews, coz they are age old movies. Those movies you enjoyed in a theater, whereas me contemplated for two years whether or not I must watch it, after which I spent another month searching for a DVD (free of cost, downloaded P2P or some other pirated version) ... the DVD spends another 6 months catching dust, after which I finally watch the movie.

Scary Movie 1 & 2: I have watched them earlier, and believe me, these are movies you gotta make your mom and dad watch. Do that, and you shall understand the concept of self-reliance, if you know what I mean. Vulgar to the core, it made me wanna puke on the TV screen. I stopped myself after realizing that the characters in the movie were doing just that - unabashedly throwing up on each other. This movie gets a 'yucky' rating of nothing.

Scary Movie 3: A more civilized version of the Scary movie series ... more funny ... more senseless ... scenes picked from Sixth Sense, The Ring, Matrix Reloaded, and a whole lot more. It gets a smooth 4 stars. Waiting to watch the fourth and final version too.

Transformers: I almost watched it in a theater, but could not due to technical reasons (which I cannot disclose due to technical difficulties) ... a 'not so good' movie ... may sound good in a theater ... but the concept is pretty amateurish ... and pretty stupid ... a complete lack of coherence ... worth only two and a half stars.

Jab We Met: Oh so cool movie ! First time I realized I can actually like Kareena Kapoor ... she over-acts badly certain times ... but is fine ... Shahid looks mature ... dialogues are what makes the movie worth your money ... very quick-witted ... the last 30 minutes or so were very impractical ... a sorry ending for an otherwise excellent movie ... my three and a half stars belong to this movie

Happy Feet: The DVD was bad ... the lip synchrony was badly missing ... somebody please gimme this DVD

Coming up: Lots of movies I need to catch up on ... Terminator series (wanna watch 'em a second time) ... Matrix series (second time) ... Click (third time) ... Devil wears Prada ... Just my luck ... Mission Impossible series ... Ufff ... feels like I belong to the stone-age !!

The Vikki with a [V]

2007-11-24T21:35:00.000+05:30

This person was so sure that I would never write about him ... I was so sure, that I could write a book about him, before I even blinked my eyes. Meet 'Vikki' ... the chocolate hero of Bangalore. A slap-stick comedian, and a hearth-throb of Bangalore teenage gals. My first cousin, and an awesome friend of mine.

We were Siamese twins since birth. Always together. If God hadn't created separate genders, we would be called the closest couple. Math makes him wet his pants, Cricket runs in his blood, and a he's a big-time fan of WWF (now its WWE i think).

A real funny guy, his one-liners are hilarious. From the time he had to bathe in front of the cows (who were so agitated that day) to the time he was attacked when he was doing what he does best (answering nature's call) ... the thought of him is enough to burst out laughing. His cell-phone contact list is over-populated with names of girls from different colleges; his endless affairs, fights with chinkis, the bashings he receives from his dad, his sister's verbal attacks, all makes him our most adored brother. He is always apprehensive of what I write about him ... so i'll limit myself this time ... he's an 'item' to watch out for ... although he seems to be scared of commitments, he is open to casual flings ...

The guy works ... in a mutual funds company called Franklin Templeton ... don't talk to him about work ... his work is real boring ... but the moolah it involves is the more exciting part ... he may not buy you anything in the interval of a movie ... but he surely fills your stomach with his side-splitting gags. This is Vikki with a [V] !!

Yakshagana

2007-11-24T21:00:00.000+05:30

Yakshagana is a classical folk art form of Karnataka. Actors wear costumes and enact various roles. Traditionally Yakshaganas would go on all night.

On a serene Thursday couple of days back, I had to make a choice - have a dekko at a Yakshagana performance nearby ... or watch 'Happy Feet' on DVD (finally !). Suddenly, I felt like exhibiting a fight for the protection of ancient Indian culture ... and surprising myself, I decided to go to the Yakshagana. Mind you, this was my second visit to this folk art; I liked it the first time, but that was way back in school, and ever since, folk art and me had developed such a rift in between them like JDS and BJP in our state (I have to mention this somehow !)

Although my hidden intention was to grab the samosas and chips that I thought would be served, I walked into the auditorium with mom and dad. After the usual blah blah from the organizers, a few attempts to extol each other, and not to mention, the fragrance of baked food enveloping the auditorium, which by the end of the show I realized, was not meant for us ... the magnanimous show began.

The theme was 'Samudra Mathana' ... an attempt by the Devas and Asuras to regain the treasures of Indra, with 'Amrita' (or ambrosia) which was obtained as a by-product, drinking of which results in immortality. It starts with the beating of drums, signalling the arrival of the characters on-stage. A narrator narrates the story in a song-like fashion, backed by musicians. The actors have limited dialogue too (which marks a difference to Kathakali where the actors don't speak at all). What is surprising is, Yakshagana is not limited to Hindu mythology; it has undergone various innovations which includes performances of Shakespeare's works.

The make-up I must say was outstanding; the play lasted for 2 hours, but I am sure the actors took more than 4 hours just to get ready. The entire costume is so intricate, a Goddess looks truly like a goddess, and a Rakshas looks truly like one. The actors, as I got to know later, were either software engineers, or bank employees, and were all women. Their performance has not been limited to India, extending from Germany to Kuwait. The movements are so pronounced, the action is so intense, that actors breaking the stage into pieces, with their powerful performance is quite a common phenomenon.

Overall, it was an outstanding play ... Yakshagana has its origin from around the 10th century. A common misconception is that, it is only limited to coastal Karnataka; its performed everywhere, even outside Karnataka, but of course, it lacks the encouragement of this generation of people, who'd rather go to a concert than such a show. Thats' the irony - the 'one' thing we feel proud about of our country, the 'one' thing due to which we feel that our country's the best in the world, and the one thing we fail to treasure, but do end up exporting it to other nations, is our diverse culture.

The magic of OSO

2007-11-15T21:30:00.000+05:30

Saturday 17th Nov: TOEFL Exam
Thursday 15th Nov: Om Shanti Om tix in my hands.......

What the hell am I doing here, when I got to be studying ? That too for a Farah Khan movie (Main Hoon Naa still gives me nightmares) ? A movie which has SRK ? A movie which has Deepika ....... Aaaaah !!!! Now I know why i'm here .... i'm here for her .... I bring along mom and dad to introduce them to their to-be daughter-in-law !!

Sssshhh ! The movie begins. Lets retrograde. Enter, the set-up of a 1970 movie production unit. It looks so dreamy ... so flashy ... so unreal. Discard those jeans ... to hell with your sun-glasses ... tear away your t-shirt ... coz the past is here again !! Farah takes you on a ride back to history ... weird hairstyles ... weirder dress sense ... weirdest dance moves ... it makes you want to go back home, take the dust off those 1970 era video cassettes, and drown in the sea of music. 'Om' a junior artist in love with 'Shanti', the dreamy Bollywood girl, sounds too unrealistic, sounds too filmi.

I found myself biting my nails in the 7-minute interval ... waiting for the magic to begin. Enter SRK ... enter 6-packs ... and crappy acting. First half, I was ready to shed my repugnance of SRK forever ... second half, the over-actor is back. And where the hell is Shanti ? It takes a while for the movie to fall on track again ... but it does ... and the intense melodrama starts off again ... places here and there that drag ... scenes that you wished weren't there ... but once again, the stage is set for a magnanimous ending ... some things happen that you never expected ... the magic fills the atmosphere ... and the curtains are drawn ... !!

Songs are lovely ... Sonu melts your heart with his voice ... music is beautiful ... leave all logic at home ... and you'll love this one ... my review is really ambiguous as it is meant to be ... an incoherent one ... watch it ... if not for Deepika ... atleast watch it for the 'magic' ... coz thats' what a Bollywood movie is all about ...

My rating: * * * 1/2

Portraits...

2007-11-03T01:46:00.000+05:30

This is certainly not my work. If I ever did a painting (which I surely won't) ... it'll look more like droppings of a sick bird. I have this friend called Viraj ... a friend from our B.Sc days ... it took me more than a year to realize his talent ... he does such lovely portraits ... they are all so fantastic. And the guy's so modest ... he hardly mentions about it ... he's going to Mumbai for his job in Reliance, and I wish him the best of luck. Dude, you got a gift ... no matter how busy you get, keep doin' 'em ... and sorry, I have used 2 of your images without your permission, but I can't help but share this with everyone.

You can find plenty of portraits ... all compositions of Viraj at http://virajkarekar.blogspot.com

Give a look at this blog ... they are all so wonderful !!

And my choice is ... (?)

2007-11-02T13:48:00.000+05:30

Charlie has his 3 angels. There's the stunning Lucy Liu, the charming Cameron Diaz, and the cute Drew Barrymore. But have you heard of Suhas' angels ? You haven't ? Great ... I can now post this article with full fanfare.

Earlier, I mean when I started watching Hindi movies ... I was interested in the story ... not the heroines ... Madhuri smiled too much and that freaked me out ... Kajol looked like she was just emerging from a charcoal factory ... Manisha Koirala's cholesterol content bounced up and down ... Raveena Tandon was too male(ish) ... Sonali Bendre was taken (by my brother, and I didn't want to have any conflicts with him as he would be sponsoring my education) ... and the rest of them weren't just consistent enough.

But then came Sanjay Leela Bhansali ... no he's not a heroine ... but he brought Aishwarya Rai ... I know she existed much before ... but the moment I saw her in 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam' ... I fell flat ... unconscious ... for 3 whole weeks ... doctors' had said I wouldn't make it. I had gone bonkers ... she was perfect for me ... of course I'd have to convince her not to cook fish at home, but it was clear ... her name was about to become Aishwarya Suhas. But things failed to remain the same ... as her popularity grew ... her texture changed ... she became more plastic ... artificial ... her talk, her walk, her personality ... was so hypocritical. She looked atrocious at the Cannes Film Festival ... that blew the lid off me ... I was back into being 'single' again !!

There was a lull for sometime ... models, beauty pageants rushed into the movie industry like a flock of sheep ... they all looked so stupid ... Sameera Reddy was being talked about always ... she's the size of a hippo I have in my backyard ... Lara Dutta has nothing apart from her smile ... Tanushree Dutta is so ugly-looking ... Hema Malini is more gorgeous than Esha ... Soha Ali Khan is creepy lookin ... Bipasha's voice is like that of Amitabh's ... all crap !

But somewhere ... in 3 different places ... were born ... 3 angels ... Suhas' angels ... and they took my life by storm ... stole my sleep ... and blinded my eyes ... the Miss World Priyanka Chopra who stunned me in Bluffmaster ... the girl from London ... someone who swept me off like the hurricane Katrina ... she's Katrina Kaif ... and the good ol' Bangalore Beauty ... Deepika ... i'm watching Om Shanti Om 7 times, putting my life in peril, just to keep her happy !!

Now Deepika is 21 yrs ... Katrina is 23 ... Priyanka is around 26. My parents don't mind ... as long as I marry a 'girl' ... but I'm real confused.

Ok I do know Charlie doesn't marry his angels ... but hello ... I'm no Charlie ... Charlie is embarrassed to even show his face !!

If all 3 of you girls are reading this blog ... I'm sorry but am real confused ... I would have married all 3 of you ... but I cant have violence at home ... but until I decide ... don't ya dare play around. Especially you Deepika ... MS Dhoni is from a loser team ... and he's cut is hair to impress you ... pathetic fella ... and Katrina ... Salman is gonna go to jail, that's for sure ... and he's crossed 40 ... ol' man he is !!

And dad ... if you are reading this ... i'm gonna gift U a DVD of 'Pretty Woman' which comes with a free Julia Roberts poster ... so please don't tell mom about all this (this'll surely work !)

Hello brother...

2007-10-30T22:10:00.000+05:30

I got 2 brothers I must really tell you about. One is Bharath's younger brother Sumanth, and another is a cousin of mine called Sudhanva.

Remember Sholay ? Remember Jai-Veeru ? Thats' what these 2 specimens are. The best of friends who discuss everything ranging from the 'Theory of Relativity' to the birds and the bees. These 2 are enough to change our world ... for the worse ... certainly.

Sumanth has just stepped into college ... but he's the bookwormish kind ... I should tell you, he knows the capital of every country in this world ... his brain is filled with encyclopedias of knowledge ... and he often talks referring to exact years. Look at a tree, and he says "It is 100 years old planted in the year 1907". A walking time-table. He used to study till 3am even when in School ... and his parents' only complaint is that he studies too much. He gets most of his genes from his dad ... whether he's talking to you on phone or face-face ... he's in atmost hurry ... as if he's got to catch a moving train ... or he's eaten too many peanuts, and he's feeling the after-effects. Bharath and Sumanth are the worst enemies in the universe ... they live together because they have no other choice ... compared to these, India and Pakistan can be considered friendly nations ...

But this guys's a blonde ... really fair ... and taller than his brother ... taller than me too. Funny person, very straight-forward in talk, and very attached to his cousins. And thats' where Sudhanva comes into picture. His closest buddy.

Sudhanva ... the guy who's just freshly learnt about the birds and the bees ... is bubbling with curiosity about the entire world now ... its like how a baby sees a flower ... he was a kid until last year ... someone who slept at 11pm and woke up at 6am ... 9th standard he is now ... and Biology seems to be one of his favorite subjects !!!

He's got a major memory loss ... always forgets stuff ... and then forgets what he had forgotten ... a museum piece he has become ... sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night ... and begins talking of something he tried to recall that morning ... very very funny ... his one liners are just getting better ... Math freaks him out (it has that effect !) ... he's the shrewdest trader I have ever known ... a cricket freak, whenever his friends lose Sudhanva's ball ... they have to deposit with him, their badminton net, a cricket bat, lots of cash, or anything valuable until they return a new ball. So, in course of time, Sudhanva has become rich, and his pocket money tells you the story of this to-be the greatest recovery-agent ever to be known. When he and Sumanthu get together ... things get real scary ... sometimes they talk such rotten stuff ... its frighteningly funny ... they crop up wild goose stories of how they pushed trains using their bare hands ... God ! You don't even want to hear this ... yet they are a valued addition to our team ... the Ram-Lakshman duo

School chale hum ...

2007-10-27T13:43:00.000+05:30

I had to go back to school yesterday. No, not because my dad thought I need to start my education from scratch, but I had to get copies of my Xth marks card attested by the Principal, and believe me ... I was looking forward to go to school ... it had been 7 years since I last went there !!!

The gates looked the same. Buildings were more crowded ... the school, the kindergarten section, the stage area, and the auditorium. I tried to walk with composure, but adrenalin was pumping inside. Trying to figure out where the office used to be before, I walked to the same old place. It was now the Reception area, and things started looking confusing. Suddenly I saw a known figure walking down the corridor. I knew him. Red eyes, short stature, asking all kids to walk in a straight line ... he was our physical trainer Mr. ChandraShekhar. He existed when our school was built, he existed throughout my schooling, he's the good old physical trainer till today. He used to handle our Mass PT on Wednesdays ... and he was the funniest trainer you can ever meet.

He seemed to remember me ... i then moved onto the office place ... the place used to be the kindergarten section once ... but now, since the kids got a separate building, this room had become an office. School looked much more beautiful now ... more extravagant, high-tech, and stylish. As my attestation formalities were in process ... I met the one lady I dreaded to meet. Our high-school class teacher, also our Maths teacher. Maths has never been my cup of tea, and her periods have been nightmares. She was a wonderful teacher though, but I dreaded her classes as much as I dreaded the subject.

"Oh Suhas, how are you?" said she. I was stupefied. She knows my name !!! "Of course, I was your class teacher" she said, reading my mind. "You have grown so tall" she said, and I was thinking "What the heck !! And all this while I thought I was growing shorter". Then came our Kannada teacher 'Mrs. Lalitha Hegde'. She was one person whom we teased the most during class hours, but she still was real happy seeing me. I feared where she'll ask me to write an article for 'Kannada Rajyothsava' ... she used to say that even after I left school.

After identifying a few more teachers ... my attestation job was completed. I realized most of our teachers had left school, and had retired. One person I was dying to meet was Mrs. Gordon, our English teacher. She was the Queen of English. Old woman she was, but the most respected amongst all the rest. Heard she retired too ... Ma'am if you are reading this, I'm sure you'll be crying, not of joy, but upon seeing the number of grammatical errors I have committed. I owe whatever English I have to her ... she's the best English teacher ever !! I studied English in School only because I wanted her to be happy ...

School's changed in terms of the outlook ... it looks more flamboyant now ... the high-school girls are Katrina Kaifs, Priyanka Chopras and Deepika Padukones in the making (I also secretly wished I had born about 6 years later) ... skirts have gotten shorter ... fashion has creeped into every nook and corner of the building ... but the walls are the same ... you can keep painting them with glossy colours ... but they still echo the same sound ... as they did 7 years back ... the floors were the same ... somewhere, they had our foot-prints ... the doors were the same ... the toilets are there where they used to be ... somewhere we have contributed to it ... I looked back again as I walked out ... I may never come back to this school again (they don't even have an alumni association) ... this was my school ... the best 10 years of my life was spent here ... I had my first crushes here ... learnt about the birds and bees ... the troubles with friendships ... it hurts to realize we can never get this life back ... I looked at a couple of girls standing near the doorway ... just told them "Enjoy school life ... as much as you can ... " ... they blankly looked at me ... probably they'll realize what I said a few years from now ... and the cycle repeats

The Big B

2007-10-26T22:42:00.000+05:30

I have a brother. Lets call him Bharath. Why ? That's his name, that's why you dumb idiot. Ok sorry sorry, I forget you are doing me a big favor by actually reading my posts.

So this Bharath is about 4-years younger to me. Engineering student, 3rd semester. Someone who greedily ate up jackfruit and mangoes as a child, he's a chubby plumpy brat. To me, he was a pest when he was a little boy, you could often find him jumping on me, or destroying high-tech toys that my dad gifted him, instead of a more deserving me.

He moved onto a residential school, sometime around his 6th standard, and our letter correspondence started. I share my longest letter correspondence with him, we wrote to each other almost for 5 years. I still have all his letters, and I loved his style of writing. We probably became better friends through our writing, and our friendship grew.

He came down to Bangalore for his college studies, and we started meeting more often. It was only then I realized that he was wonderful company. There was nothing we did not talk about - Cricket, Tennis, F1, Politics, Actresses, Models, Movies, Songs, Games, anything anything and anything. Talk of trade deficits of third world countries and he would have an opinion on that too. Very very aware he was, of what was happening around.

Don't you dare think our conversations were limited to such superficial aspects. Come midnight, and our real talk starts. Philosophy, figuring out what life is, family problems, everything was talked about. He's the kinda person with whom you'll want to open out and reveal everything, because he exactly understands what you are trying to say.

He's a monster when it comes to Internet Usage. The BSNL guys better read this part, he's the source of all your huge losses last year. 2.5GB is the download limit each month. He downloads hardly 2 GB worth data. But come happy hours (when Internet is literally free, 2am to 8am) he downloads whole movies, all amounting to about 15-20GB (sometimes even more) each month. Thats 15-20GB, can you imagine that ? And he's hoping his dad's gonna get him an Unlimited Internet Plan. If that happens, its better you quit BSNL and move onto AirTel or Sify, as I have a hunch that BSNL is shutting down pretty soon.

He has a big role in giving me one of the best birthday gift - the Calvin collection. Both of us love Calvin, I have slowly allured him to like F.R.I.E.N.D.S and he's begun to like it too. We agree on so many issues, but differ on a lot more (like Akshay Kumar movies for example, he loves them).

Probably that's what makes our relationship special, we laugh together, argue over stuff, enjoy together, fight with each other, and make it a point to put each other into big-time trouble, and are also the ones who rescue each other when one of us is in big-time trouble. He's turning out into a wonderful friend, and I look forward to a wonderful experience with this guy. He's got a cool dress sense, really brilliant, very tech-savvy, great sense of humor and 'single' (that's the most exciting part, ain't it ?)

Me ... growing younger

2007-10-26T21:57:00.000+05:30

This October 23rd, I turned 21. Actually speaking, I turned 21 two years back, but I have this strange belief that I have stopped growing beyond 21 (voluntarily or involuntarily I can't say). I selected 21 as its the legal marriage age, and I am really tired of explaining this fact to every person who does not forget to mention my age as soon as he/she wishes me.

Either a birthday celebration is a 'typical one' like an early morning head-bath, a visit to a nearby temple, wearing a set of new trousers and a bright full sleeved shirt, distributing sweets, and making a vow to get transformed that very day to a perfect individual. Or else, its 'the better way' involving taking friends or family out to a posh restaurant, eating like a hog, doing something un-conventional like a cool outing, go-karting, whatever. Mine wasn't both. It was more of a 'trend-setting' style of celebration. Going to the garage to get my bike serviced.

Yeah ... I was gonna have a great birthday. I dropped off my bike at Infantry Road, decided to walk till Indian Exress, and catch a bus. The walk proved a bit tiring, not to mention my desperate tries to foil the attempts of the BMTC buses to run over me. Then, came the long wait for the bus. When it finally came, and I got in, I realised I had taken the wrong bus. He dropped me off near TV Tower, I had to walk to the bus stop again. Another long wait. And then comes this bus, where the driver is also a conductor. I quarrel with him for sometime, as he refuses to give me a ticket, and I really wanted to unravel my fight for social justice on my birth-day. Another long walk back home, and my legs were killing.

A short nap. Come evening, and come rains. Lots. I was under house-arrest. Nothing to do, I just opened my GRE text, and gulped a few words. Nothing registered. Watched TV for sometime. Then watched a Kannada movie - 'Duniya', loved it !!

I forgot to mention, all day, all afternoon, all evening, all night, I kept getting phone calls from friends and cousins. It was too too much this year. I was literally tired of receiving calls. On the contrary, few of my close friends forgot to even wish me. And one of my real close friend, first asked whether it was really my b'day that day, and then went on to wish me. Crap birthday !!

24th October, Venue - Home

Usual day, got up late, did all the usual stuff, had lunch, decided to read a couple of old letters I had written to sister-in-law. Heard a knock-knock. Who's there ? As I rub my eyes in amazement, I see a cousin and 2 of my younger brothers, all clean shaven, handsome, and grinning. There was a look of 'mischief' in their faces. Thinking this to be a trap, I maintained a bit of distance, but welcomed all home. They hand me over a big cover. What did it contain ? Sewage water that would splatter my face the moment I opened it ? I slowly peeped into it.

There was a greeting-card. It was a perfect birthday card. And a big big handwritten letter. I read it, I read it again and again. It was so so touching. Never realized my little brothers and sisters liked me so much. Every past experience, every memorable event, moments of fun, mischief, joy, laughter, adventure, grief ... was recalled. The whole letter was a journey back into the past. If I was a girl (which mom thinks I am), I would have really cried. I read the letter almost 8 times that day.

And then came the gift. A huge book of Calvin Hobbes collection. My dream possession. A book I was dying to have. A book that I hugged in every book store, or a book fair, but kept it back, as it was way too expensive, the book was all mine. They not only gave me a perfect card, not only wrote the perfect letter, but also found a perfect gift. And this was not one person's doing. The whole team of all my cousins, brothers, sisters teamed up, and contributed.

If this wasn't enough, my cousin Vikki also gave us a big treat for getting a job. To Cafe Coffee Day we went, ate a couple of veg burgers, somethin called a Submarine, Green Apple and Strawberry Sodas, came home and gobbled up a few Gulab Jamoons ... phew !!

Well, if those guys are reading this, I think you are just amazing. You made my birthday one of my favorite ones, because I realized how much you all love me. I have decided I shall write about everyone of them in this blog, how much they mean to me, and how they make my life complete (miserable sometimes ... no denying that ... they are the biggest brats too) I'm sure lucky to have all these bunch of people around, I realized they ain't just blood-relatives, they are also my really wonderful friends !!

Krishna

2007-10-15T19:37:00.001+05:30

Its been a while since I have written movie reviews ... the reason behind this I discovered after much speculation ... and discussion with the professors at the science institute ... was because its been a while since I have watched any movie

My little brother Sumanthu ... watched one yesterday ... Krishna ... I've seen the shooting of this movie when I had been to Lumbini gardens ... met Ganesh there too ... its the same couple from Mungaru Male ... Ganesh and Pooja Gandhi ... so Sumanth writes this review ... hear this review from him ... and thanks Sumanth ... you made my job easier ... and its a wonderfully written review

Ganesh plays his real life role of a television anchor in the film. Like in his real life, he plays the role of an anchor of a comedy show. Krishna (Ganesh) is a chatter box. Even his friend Rama (Sharan) is also like that. Both are working in 'R Music', a chat show of the satellite television channel. He is widely appreciated and is the darling of the masses. His body language as a television anchor and as a casual worker, much earlier in the film is perfect. But the music is pale in comparison to all three previous films. The choreographers could have done a better job.

Krishna always fights with a girl Preethi (Pooja Gandhi). Preethi stays downstairs while Krishna in a rented accommodation on the first floor of the same house. Preethi likes Krishna as an anchor and even participates in many programmes anchored by Ganesh. He has a secret lover who always troubles him via telephone. She is none other than Preethi. After many tiffs with Krishna, Preethi proposes to Krishna. But Krishna reveals his own story. He was in love with a girl 'Anjali' and had even taken care of the problems of her family. But Anjali, on the advice of her parents, decides to marry another rich man. A dejected Krishna comes back to city to become an anchor.

Then he comes across the same Anjali, but who had been cheated by the rich man. Krishna helps Anjali to complete her medical course. Meanwhile, Preethi is still hopeful of marrying Krishna. And then Anjali seeks pardon from Krishna and she wants him to marry her. What happens later forms the climax. That I cant tell you. Will Ganesh deliver a fifth consecutive hit? We have to wait and watch.

For bookworms...

2007-10-15T19:23:00.000+05:30

You must be knowing about the Book Fair ... in Palace grounds ... have to go ... but there are some books I'd really buy ... no matter what the cost ... I'd love to see these titles this time ... bet you ... they' d be best-sellers:

1) How to pass the GRE exam without taking it up

2) Baby diapers, pads and nappies - explanation with illustration

3) How to get a girl-friend who pays the restaurant bill (all the time)

4) A book for illiterates (written in elegant English)

5) The big book of Deepika Padukone (free wallpapers inside)

6) Why today's music sucks (Linkin Park Audio CD enclosed)

7) The big book of doubts which fathers hate to answer (This should be fun !)

8) The "Why" series (as in why do you care ?)

9) The big book of money (Cut them and use them, use scissors under parental guidance)

10) The story of Suhas (this one will beat the Harry Potter series)

Suhas ... to the rescue

2007-10-15T18:53:00.000+05:30

October 15th marks another milestone in my life. Its exemplary ... that I have become a real achiever this month. Went into contemplation ? Stop Stop ... i have neither been nominated for next year's Nobel Peace Prize (although I could be) ... or I have not decided to pledge my eyes (I have black-and-white vision, few people know that) ... I successfully helped my nephew Arya put on a shirt.

What ? Why are you rubbing your eyes so much ? Did you not get the picture ? Hello ... you think dressing up a 9-month old brat is easy ? I bet you cannot even button his shirt even once.

There are techniques ... i acquired them from different sources (that I cannot disclose for security reasons) ... but all I can say is ... the real way to put a shirt on an infant is ... let not the hand get into the sleeve ... but let the sleeve get into the hand ... intricate ain't it ? What isn't ?

This whole 'baby' thing in itself is so intricate. I mean ... I don't understand how God can stuff so much into that little fleshy creature. Babies are monsters ... I discovered that. They know how to allure you with their cheezy smiles and get their jobs done in return. They know that a tiny threat to burst out crying can make you go soft on him. They know everything ... its in-built ... operating system with fully loaded utilities and all ... But there are ways ... manipulative ones ... to evade them. I learnt them.

For example, an irregular movement of your fingers can cause interest in an otherwise about-to-cry baby. Expensive toys and furry animals are nothing more to these babies than surfaces for wiping their wet posterior. Give them the price tag, that comes along with your new trouser, and they play hours and hours with it. Give them a thread that is protruding from your vests, and they get ecstatic about it.

And when a baby grabs on a dangerous object, such as a wire, or a sharp wedge, things get real tough. You snatch that from him ... and you invite a 30-minute continuous sobbing. Give him another play-item, he'll take it in another hand, but wont let go of the dangerous object at all. What do you do ? Seconds tick ... its only a few moments before he pokes himself with it ... sweat starts trickling on your forehead ... tricky ... very tricky ... Here comes me to the rescue ... snatch the object from his hand, with such a force, that he should be stupefied on what just happened ... immediately substitute it with a bright colored or noisy object (anything ... even a missile launcher will do) ... and then start dancing as if it is time for celebrations ... do a bit of the junglee dance (take of your trousers ... and cover it up with spiny leaves) ... but do a weird dance ... and the little baby gets distracted ... and forgets the sharp object permanently ... voila !! We are done !!

So all you mommies out there ... come to me for special tactics ... first come first serve basis ... free seats available for only 100 rupees per technique ... and all you daddies ... i also do a special coaching on how to dispose of the diapers and clean the baby's ... uh ... stuff ... without getting them on your hands ... Why fear when me is here

I'm all spiced up !!

2007-10-13T17:17:00.000+05:30

17th is a big day for me. And for Vodafone too. My Hutch 777 plan of 1-year validity dies a sudden brutal death ... and I would be left ... networkless ... sad ... painful ... and hungry. But there's good news too ... I jump to Spice ... Spice hai to life hai ... aur Priyanka Chopra mera wife hai (Pathetic ain't i ?)

So as Vodafone bids goodbye to Hutch ... I bid goodbye to Vodafone ... with still no good offers ... and costly plans ... I had no other choice ... brother thinks I dont deserve Airtel ... which by the way has awesome network all over Karnataka ...

But my Nokia 1100 is seriously ill ... it keeps switching off ... anyone wanna exchange your Nokia N95 for my cell ? Right now, its too early to say ... its been kept under observation ... but my phone is showing positive improvement ... its not given me problems from yesterday ... lets hope for the best !!

And as for my number ... just call and ask :-)

Its a "Black" world out here...

2007-10-13T16:43:00.001+05:30

Watching a movie in a theater these days, is a real expensive affair. Its a way of exhausting all those nickels and dimes saved over a period of an year with great difficulty ... with just one go. And to make things worse ... I have to shell out 150 bucks for a terrible Hindi movie ... not to forget the parking fee for my fuel-sucking bike and the pop-corn coke combo for which I end up paying ... and my friends end up gobbling them up ... all the time !!

We were to have a movie get-together this Sunday evening. Vaibhav theater. 6-15 show. Bhool Bhulayya the movie. A bad re-make of Aptamitra. But thats secondary. I go there to book tickets on a Saturday noon ... and a fat man at the gate says its all sold out !! Poof !! Our plans were washed away just like most of the Hindi movies get washed away from the box office these days. "How many tickets do you want?" asks the fat man. "11" I say ... hoping against hope that he knows some tantrik who can produce movie tickets from a pile of ash. "Ok, it will cost you 150 bucks per ticket" says the fat man. "What the heck ??" think I. What are the tickets doing in this man's pocket when it should be at the counter. Fine ... he's selling it in black, but he's from Vaibhav theater itself ... now if these theater guys themselves start selling tickets in black, what the heck will the public do ?

They dont do anything. They just go buy tickets ... no matter what the cost. Idiots they are, either they are way too rich, and scared that if they dont spend money, their dad's gonna invest them in mutual funds, or it is the typical boyfriend who's scared where his girl would think he is stingy, so buys the tickets anyway. "This is not happening" I thought. Straight ... I walked ... to Sanjaynagar Police station ... brought 2 policemen along with me ... to the theater.

Now I thought these policemen had come to catch those culprits. But it seems these guys had other plans. Against my wishes, the 2 brave policemen walked a king's walk ... wielding their stick like a missile launcher ... and within a fraction of a second ... I could see plenty of people running inside the theater ... and then the policemen look at me and ask "Where are those people selling tickets in black ?"

"They are certainly not in my pockets" I wanted to say. The policemen looked for them in the theater ... couldn't find anyone except one ... who did not have any tickets on him ... so was spared. I kept grumbling that this was the man who asked me 150 bucks ... but the policemen were helpless ... "We can't do anything unless we catch them red-handed" they kept saying. The owner of the theater looked a bit confused ... a bit angry ... and was a bit under trepidation as people were crowding around to watch what was happening. But not one person came forward to say that tickets were being sold in black. They were satisfied that they had their tickets, safe in pockets ... and their girlfriends would be happy ... no movie would mean to them ... taking their girl to an expensive restaurant ... this was certainly a better option.

After all the melodrama ... the police guys screamed a bit at everyone ... (even movie goers were not spared) ... he then made an emphatic speech on why Vaibhav must also screen Kannada movies (maybe his wife was constantly nagging him to take her to PVR) ... and then escorted me out ... the owner of the theater came out too ... perhaps to catch a glimpse of me ... to get me beaten if I linger around there again ... and then it was a ride back home for me.

I don't care that those guys weren't put behind bars ... its enough that they now know that some people can go to the extent of complaining ... and that they must be more cautious when carrying out all illegal work ... probably the theater is running into loss ... and they had to adopt this method ... whatever ... but my job's done.

Don't just accept tickets in black ... if you find such a thing's happening ... file a complaint ... dont worry, those theater guys wont do anything to you ... their diminishing finances are their biggest problems ... so they wouldn't want to invite more problems.

No movie this weekend though ... my cousins might turn up ... so probably its gonna be limited to watching some Kannada oldies in my good old DVD player ... actually I did call that theater guy again in the evening ... to ask if tickets were available in black ... he got real angry ... perhaps he was reminded of something ... or someone !!!

She's back

2007-10-07T23:20:00.001+05:30

For all those wondering what the heck happened to my cousin ... she's fine ... took her a whole month to come outta the hospital ... but more importantly she made it ... now she's eating like a pig ... she can devour a hippo and still feel like eating a camel ... so thanks a tonne for your prayers ... I told you ... God does give a look when he receives bulk-mail ... thanks thanks and lots of thanks

Heyy Baby !

2007-09-19T22:37:00.000+05:30

Wasn't too sure of watching this movie ... but watched it anyway, thanks to the CD given by a brother of mine ... I was having the main objective of learning how to look after a little baby ... I do have to look after my nephew ... but one thing's for sure ... this is the last movie I'd watch to learn anything ...

Ok the baby's damn cute ... a perfect match for my nephew who's a hunk himself ... and the first fifteen minutes of the movie is kinda fun ... with the trio of Akshay, Fardeen and Reitesh tryin to manage a monster baby who seems to eat eat and eat, and finally leave an evidence of that in the diapers ...

Enter Vidya Balan, and the movie suddenly becomes serious ... I won't bother you with the story ... as it is ... there's hardly any ... but then there's this fight between Vidya Balan and Akshay for the baby ... i was mistaken ... it ain't really supposed to be a comedy ... Boman Irani as usual fun to watch ... the ending too was a bit abrupt ... its a real short movie ... thankfully.

Some have liked this movie ... but they are only being too biased, or too lenient ... direction is really stupid ... Sajid Khan I think is the culprit ... his sister Farah Khan is a little better ... atleast she gets her casting right ... the movie is colourful ... and the 16 heroines featured in the title song ... are a pleasure to watch ... music and songs are fine ... the only positives you can carry.

But the movie ... Naaaaah !!

Rating: * *

When the phone rings...

2007-09-19T22:16:00.001+05:30

I'm sure at some point of time ... you have been pestered with irritating phone calls ... asking you to take a big loan ... or buy some mutual funds ... or take some insurance scheme ...

Its sometimes so bad that, when you look at some girl near the grocery store and smile ... chances are that she works in some insurance company ... and she takes it for granted that you'd be interested in some stupid policy, and you'll be getting her calls regularly. And they never take 'No' for an answer ... either you have to give them a genuine reason, for which they will come up with a good explanation ... or else they would want to call you back after sometime.

Magically they obtain your mobile number ... and all your details ... and it seems like your entire biodata is in their hands.

This went on at home ... until I hit upon a novel idea ... one thing is common ... all these companies love someone with lots of money ... loans are offered for the richest of people ... that where I get transformed ... transformed into a miserable financially broke friendless depressing creature.

I got a call from a solar water heater company asking me to avail their installment schemes ... I explained to them how I have taken so many loans ... mortgaging even my home ... and I'm unable to pay anything back ... even my property might be seized. I never got a call from them ever since.

I explained to the insurance lady that I suffer from a rare condition ... and the surgery costs 25lakhs and in turn asked her to help me out with it. She never spoke to me since.

I explained to a particular banker that more than loans, I need friends, and asked him whether he would agree to be my best friend. I think he left the job, coz I never heard from him again.

I only hope all this wont backfire on me ... in case I need a loan or an insurance policy ... and the companies start referring to me as the miserable financially broke friendless depressing creature.

But until then ... I am free from these irritating callers ... the next time I get any call, I dont have to think twice about taking it.

Death ... just an event

2007-09-19T18:25:00.000+05:30

Another usual event in the hospital. A 3-month old baby was suffering from brain haemorrhage ... a brain surgery was performed a few days back ... in vain ... it was totally dependent on a ventilator for its survival ... the parents of the little baby were asked when the ventilator should be removed ... the parents had to fix a date to 'kill' their baby ... it was today ... the ventilator was taken off ... it took just a few minutes ... why is life so unfair at times ?

Diaper dilemma

2007-09-18T23:19:00.001+05:30

I have learnt the fine art of changing baby diapers. Of course, it took the birth of my nephew, for me learn this arduous task (which is obvious because none of us at home wear diapers otherwise). Life today is so confusing, there's so much to choose from, it would have been much easier if babies could decide on which product suits them best.

There's Pampers, Huggies, Johnsons, and more that follow. Few like Pampers and Huggies come with offers such as, buy 9 and get 2 free, which generally lures rookie customers such as 'me'.

And then, there are confusing terms such as pads, nappies and diapers. Of course, I try my best not to get confused ... I remember it in special ways, such as, diapers are those that makes a baby's bottom look huge ... and so on ...

Thanks to Velcro Technology, changing diapers today is real easy. Its just covering up the baby's bottom, and fastening. To this add lots of baby crying, his refusal to lie down, the diaper sliding below to his knees, and it getting wet immediately after successfully changing it. Diapers may have come with new technology, but what the heck can you do if the baby keeps wailing. I just deviate his mind by making such weird faces, one would think I suffer from Kidney stones ... but it works ... and voila ... job's done ... but in a few seconds ... its soaking wet again ... sheesh !!

Stayin connected with Nokia 1100

2007-09-18T22:59:00.000+05:30

I'm committed ... to my phone ... its seen the best and worst days of my life ... its seen my moods swing from joy to anger ... its brought me lots of friends ... given me plenty of successful dates ... and also makes my entire family fume on me all the time.

I am real fast when it comes to typing messages. No I aint bragging, but I have surprised myself. I have mastered the art of typing with one hand, watching the TV and typing, and even typin messages with the mobile inside my pocket. But I have no idea what my typing speed is.

You should check out my keypad. Its a museum-piece, an exhibit for every curious looker. Its nothing but a white sheet of rubber. All markings have vanished. Its become so white, it resembles one of those white T-shirts in the Tide Detergent advertisement. Nobody even have a clue which button is to be pressed when my cell beeps. In a way, thats good, no one dare touches my cell-phone, and my balance remains safe.

And heck !! The mobile has seen some accidents too, fallen from the second floor, bashed against the wall, used as a hammer by my nephew, and god knows how many times my dad has sat on it ... it still continues to serve me faithfully ... and the moment it beeps ... I know ... my next date is fixed !!

ER !

2007-09-18T22:12:00.000+05:30

I got the opportunity to spend the last 30 days in a hospital. Hey, don't worry, my kidneys are working just fine ... and I have nothing to do with pregnancy. But rather than call it an opportunity, I must say it was an experience.

Its a world of its own. Gloomy, terrifying, depressing, its just these kind of adjectives that suit a hospital atmosphere. Its sad, but true, everyone prefer visiting their mother-in-law's house rather than visit a hospital ... the reputation is that bad !!

At times of adversity, man unites. Its amazing, complete strangers walk up to me, and enquire about what's happened to whom. Some even go to the extent of comforting me, although I would have appreciated if they had bought me a cup of tea and some onion Pakodas (believe me, there are people who do this too). They tell their stories too, mostly saddening ones, but reflect the graveness of diseases.

But there are moments of fun too. Like the other day, I found this man trying to locate his friend in a labor room. Why he thinks his friend would go into labor I do not know. And there's this other guy to whom profanity is a permanent part of his vocabulary. His every third word of the sentence is an F word ... and he believes all doctors ought to be thrown into a dungeon forever, forgetting the fact that they are the ones who make him feel better, when his motions are loose.
And not to forget, the old man, who decided to take a nice nap right in front of the patient elevator, and refused to budge even though an old woman sitting on a wheel-chair had to be shifted to the General Ward. Upon waking him up, the man demanded that he too be given a proper bed in a ward, or else he'd refuse to pay up the bill.

But one thing is true. Staying overnight in a hospital is something everyone must experience. You really get to respect your life a lot more. Rather than complain that I have got Hitler as a brother, who still flatly refuses to buy me an i-Pod ... I'm more happy I'm passing urine efficiently, my heart pumps enough stuff for the whole body, my intestines are trying their best to search for vitamins in all the crap I eat, and my brain cells are distinguishing between sense and nonsense and all that stuff that gets into my brain. I'm damn lucky to be so alive and healthy ... death is just a daily event in a hospital ... I have seen almost 4 people passing away (from a 2 month old baby to a 50yr woman) ... after seeing all this, I have just dusted my old cycle again ... and I'L probably start off exercising this week ... you too ... live a healthy life ... and if you happen to visit a hospital, let it be only to flirt with the nurses, and not as a patient. Stay happy ... if possible avoid getting married. Kapish !!

Festival Time !!!

2007-09-14T00:14:00.000+05:30

So its festival time !!! Which means lots 'n' lots of stuff to eat. So eat a lot ... build the size of your tummies ... speak good ... be good ... and give Lord Ganesha the responsibility to help you pass your exams (for which you still haven't started studying)

My one-liners.....

2007-08-29T13:26:00.000+05:30

What’s the one line I’d love to tell all these people? Here it goes...

To dad: “If you hadn’t married mom, where would I be?”

To mom: “If you knew dad was stingy before, would you still marry him?”

To brother: “I’ve managed with my cell-phone for 10 months with a starting balance of just 777 rupees. Don’t you think I’m the best brother in the world?”

To sister-in-law: “Would you please tie this rakhi on your husband’s arm?”

To nephew: “Do you think the Indian Government has to cut down taxes for imported baby diapers?”

To my friends: “If you are my friends, who need enemies?”

To Shahrukh: “You are the king” (respecting the sentiments of all SRK fans)

To Deepika Padukone: “Have we met before?” “I lost my phone number, can I have yours?” “Will you marry me?”

To every BT student: “There is plenty of scope in Biotechnology, but absolutely no job offers”

To committed girls: “You have no idea what you have missed. You just need to look better”

To eligible bachelors: “Back off. I was here first”

Aishwarya Rai: “My PU results toppled because of you”

Sanjay Dutt: “What the heck you doing here. Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?”

Salman Khan: “Ha! Katrina Kaif’s all mine now”

Indian cricket team: Nothing. I don’t talk to losers

You: “Thanks for reading this. Next time, pay me in cash”

Myself: “Shut this off. Its 1am. Its time to watch T.V”

Me and my idiot box

2007-08-29T13:23:00.000+05:30

25 things I never missing watching on T.V:

Art Attack on Disnep TV
Manthana on ETV Kannada – its awesome !!
All the afternoon mega-serials, they are more important to me than oxygen !!
U2 anchors – all museum pieces !!
tv9 breaking news – though none of them are !!
Ripley’s believe it or not on AXN
Max X on AXN – its so gross, and I love it !!
Dexter’s Laboratory on Cartoon Network
M.A.D on POGO
Tiny T.V on POGO
Koffee with Karan on Star World
F.R.I.E.N.D.S on Star World
The movie ‘Nayak’ on Sony - it comes twice every week
Movie trailers on Sony Pix
Bond films on Star Movies - the old ones, remember Sean Connery?
English movies on Tamil channels
Celebrity news on VH1 – ain’t they so interesting?
David Attenborough shows on Animal Planet – his voice is magic
Osama bin Laden news on CNN
Shilpa Shetty gossip on Headlines Today
Maria Sharapova on Star sports (I mean the tennis, not her)
MTV Roadies, whenever they are on air
Orbit-white commercials
Mungaru Male songs on Suvarna
The anchor Mithali Mukherjee on CNBC (just her, not the channel)

My F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2007-08-29T13:18:00.000+05:30

As I type this, F.R.I.E.N.D.S is on air on Star World. For those of you who are already fans of this fan(tastic) show, skip this, for the rest, have a look

So F.R.I.E.N.D.S is not really an abbreviation. Its a popular TV show, and is about 6 people who live together in a little apartment in New York

Each character has his or her own style, and is over-whelmingly humorous

There’s the guys.

Joey (Matt le Blanc) who’s supposed to be an actor (but really sucks at it), he’s a voracious eater and never shares his food. Although he’s the stupidest amongst the rest, he’s so good looking that he’s almost slept with every girl in New York

Chandler (Mathew Perry) is trying to always prove his masculinity (in vain), Joey’s his best buddy and his poor one-line jokes are best understood by himself

Ross (David Schwimmer) is actually a Dr.Ross. No, not the medical kind, but a paleontologist. So his jargon mostly goes over the head of everyone

And then, there are the girls

Rachel (Jennifer Anniston) is a waitress, a gorgeous girl, but having a history of repeated marriages and divorces with Ross

Monica (Courtney Cox) is the loud-mouthed sister of Ross. She’s a great cook, but over-obsessive when it comes to cleaning; she prefers every object to be kept at 90⁰ with respect to the table, so if it’s not a right angle, its a wrong angle

Feebie (Lisa Kudrow) is a total weirdo. There’s hardly any sense in what she talks, yet its next to impossible to argue with her

Yup!! Take these characters, mix them with lots of bad dates, lots of blunders, lots of laughs, lots of emotions, and lots of love, and you get F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Watch it. Don’t worry if you are finding it tough to understand it at first, you will eventually, and then you’ll never stop watching it

Check: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends

Please pray.....

2007-08-29T12:12:00.000+05:30

Hey !! My cousin Madhuri is ill. And she needs all your prayers. God always treats my prayer as Spam. But when he receives this bulk mail of prayers, I’m sure he’ll consider it. So please pray for her fast recovery.

The stalking monster called 'P'

2007-08-28T22:58:00.000+05:30

There's this weirdo I know. A supposed-to-be friend of mine. We'll call him 'P'.

P was normal at first. Good guy. Studious. Was an arm's distance away from girls.

M.Sc came and a sudden hormonal imbalance took place. He became a weirdo. A sudden gush of testosterone resulted in a sudden urge to get married as fast as possible.

It always happens this way. When puberty gets delayed, these side effects are imperative. Same case with 'P'. Suddenly he became this big big flirt. Started planning movie dates, wooing girls with Pani Puri and Gobi Manchurian became the order of the day, and the frequency of get-togethers suddenly increased, especially at P's place.

I sat back and just had fun. Until, P started getting me into trouble. I maintain this good reputation and rapport with everyone. Friends find me to be a good boy, a mom's kid. Suddenly, this P started gettin me a terrible reputation, exaggerated all my not-to-be-told stories, and made every person hate me.

Today, even strangers look at me disgustingly. If thats not enough, P even launched a blog kind of a thing and used it as a platform to reveal my dark secrets.

This is not revenge. Its just a warning to all of you. P is the kind of person every father warns their daughter about. There's a weirdo on the loose. You might be his next victim !!

Life @ T.I.M.E

2007-08-28T22:47:00.001+05:30

I go to this place in Malleshwaram called T.I.M.E for my GRE classes

It stands for Triumphant Institute of something ... which I discovered only after 1 month of attending classes

A bunch of about 25-30 studious people are my batch-mates

One is from RVCE who's so dumb, he searches for a gents' toilet in Malleshwaram Ladies Association College (our center), and is so intelligent, he answers 30 math questions in 15 minutes

There's this girl, god knows from where, she draws margins, underlines, uses different coloured pens, apparently there is one such person in every class of the world

There's this girl from RT Nagar, same place as me, but somehow that doesn't seem to interest her, and the back-seat of my bike remains empty throughout the day

There's this Gujrati who somehow finds it convenient to use expletives as and when possible. Perhaps he's polishing his vocabulary. The other day he called a lecturer 'a bastard' for giving tough passages

There are these bunch of girls who never make their existence felt

Hardly 3-4 in class know that I exist., which is obvious coz I miss out every other class

In Vocabulary, we have reached the letter "L", and I think I'll kill myself by the time we finish

I avoid Math classes. The more I run away from it, the more it chases me

My exam's on Nov 13th, pray for me please

Chak De India !!

2007-08-28T22:40:00.001+05:30

Just about ok.

SRK’s acting is pretty decent.

The 16 girls of the hockey team are cute, especially the Haryana dribbler Komal Chauthala.

Theme is really old; a million English movies have been made, ranging from football to ice hockey, baseball to basketball.

Exaggeration is at the same level. Unnecessary dramatization could be avoided.

Direction is lacking. Not much attention is paid to individual players. Team building was excellently shown in Lagaan, which is really missing in this movie.

It sells coz its brand SRK, but you can afford to miss this movie.

My rating: * * *

Cheeni Kum

2007-08-28T22:37:00.001+05:30

Don’t watch it if you got diabetes, coz it’s a really ‘sweet’ movie.

Experimental, a bit of a dragger at times, but Big B and Tabu are adorable to watch.

Paresh Rawal’s talents are under-utilized.

Don’t compare this movie with Nishabd.

Its two and a half hours of neatly packed entertainment.

Watch it once, if you haven’t already.

My rating: * * * ½

Back ... with a bang

2007-08-25T21:26:00.000+05:30

I’m back ... can you hear an explosion in your brains ???

There are a whole number of reasons why I’m back…

My well-wishers, who are so few in number, almost amounting to zero, said they wouldn’t mind much if I’m back online.

My enemy’s launched his own web-page and he’s using it as a platform to launch personal attacks on me. This is my avenue for revenge.

I love hearing the groan of people when they see my name in their inboxes.

I realized people are fed up of reading about Shilpa Shetty, Sanjay Dutt and Salman Khan. My life and my controversies sound more realistic, and everyone loves to laugh at my sorrows.

My senior wanted me back, and I blindly follow everything she says. Not because she’s my senior, but her eyes have a hypnotic power.

Off-late I see a lot of happy people, very few are having arguments at their work-place, they don’t fight with their wives anymore, and they have forgotten what sadness is. I can’t stand this. With me back, the number of divorce cases are gonna increase, people will lose their jobs, there will be no more peace, I shall bug them all with my stupid articles, and I’ll derive cynical pleasure out of all this.

No wonder the new theme of my blog is “ThE SmiLe RevOlutiOn”. Its my sincere attempt to take away your smiles :-)

The Malnad XP

2007-08-25T21:20:00.000+05:30

I've been bunking my GRE classes. But I did something more important than sleeping. I went to see my girl-friend. She's the most beautiful thing ever !! She's called 'Nature' and she was at her best this season. Yes!! I went to view the highest falls of the country - the Jog. Here's a personal experience of the 3 days spent amidst the beauty of Western Ghats. Read it when U R really really free ... its a long one. Just click the link below:

http://malnadxp.blogspot.com/

To SRK with love

2007-08-25T20:05:00.000+05:30

I’m not drunk. My brains are where they are supposed to be. And I’m not writing this with a gun pointed towards my temporal lobes (don’t mind my scientific awareness). This is a post on King Khan, and for the first time, its an unbiased one. I write this without being influenced by my hatredness towards him.

But why on earth do I hate Shahrukh Khan when the wide population of the girls worship him? Perhaps that’s one of the biggest reasons. I hate it when girls find him more attractive than me.

But on a more serious note, why really? And why on earth am I writing this article? I used my blog to the fullest possible extent to degrade SRK. I questioned his acting ability, I questioned his versatility, I even questioned his gender. I declared a full scale war on the movie ‘Don’ and dubbed it into the worst movie ever made. I would have gone on and on, unless I would be attacked by a girl, a girl who adores him.

Yes, Ishita my class-mate, pounced on me for speaking thus, and things would have taken a bad turn if I hadn’t taken back my words. Throughout M.Sc, we often had arguments over this topic. She hates the way I speak of SRK, and I was scared where she would one day drive a lorry over me. So Ishita, let me tell you this shocking fact, I was a die-hard fan of SRK once upon a time. The story goes like this…

Darr and Baazigar were wonderful movies of that time. I was impressed; SRK was slowly becoming popular. Although he dies a brutal death in both these movies, it was certain, this person was one to watch out for.

And then came Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. He was exactly the guy I always wanted to be. Perfect. And he became my favorite actor. Every slam book, every profile, and I happily typed SRK as my favorite hero. I loved Kajol then, and I still do now, but with SRK, things took a different turn.

I missed watching Dil To Pagal Hai, and I kicked myself several times for that. But I watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. It seems to be the stupidest movie today, but I loved it then. And as usual, my favorite hero playing his role to perfection.

But slowly, I started getting bugged. His movies seemed all the same, his acting never differed even though he played different characters. ‘Duplicate” and ‘Yes Boss’ were like bull-shit. And that’s when I really started hating this guy.

I do admit I somewhere loved him in ‘Swades’, but the feeling of ‘hate’ spread so much in my blood, that I refused to acknowledge even if he acted well, and I made comments even without watching his movies. Heard ‘Chak de’ was good.

So, I’ve got no personal enmity with Mr. SRK. Therefore, I request all the girls not to harm me in any way. I am not able to walk safely on roads, especially when going to the vegetable market, as I constantly have this feeling of being watched. I promise my movie reviews won’t be biased and I won’t question anyone’s gender. Although Ishita’s not the type of girl who’d harm anyone, I know a few who can. So please spare me of your anger, my dad won’t get me a life insurance policy, and no insurance company would even give me one, knowing for a fact that my life’s always in danger, of killer girls !!

A writer's block

2007-02-10T17:46:00.000+05:30

That's true. I'm having a writer's block. Writer's block is the state where a writer loses out on ideas / creativity to the point where further writing is difficult. Perhaps due to excessive blogging, or perhaps due to my already hectic schedules, I am unable to write anything at all. So, please do not watch this space for a long long time (as if you watch it regularly). No more posts, no more nothing. Good Bye !!

Its all about money, honey !!

2007-02-03T20:29:00.000+05:30

I recently remember reading an article on the way salaries are paid today. It reminded me so much of my early years when dad was still working at HMT.

On salary day, dad would casually walk home, toss open his little bag and give me his salary for the month - a stack of notes. Not crisp and new, c'mon its HMT remember, pretty soiled but a stack of notes. Something around 9000/- bucks. Thats' all. But the satisfaction was unexplainable.

I was given the liberty of handling the money first. I carefully used to inspect it, count it (to make sure they have paid right), and then walked around with it for sometime. Finally, I hand it over to mom, saying "You wanted to buy some jewelery right ? Here, go gift yourself something with this". Of course, mom too would play this little game with equal excitement. She would take the money with extreme happiness, and after having a look at it, it would be returned back to dad.

The money made a full circle. It would now be used to pay for a lot of stuff, clear debts, manage the house etc etc and more etc. In fact, it was that time when the expenditure was more than the income - a deficit home budget. Here, each person knew that the money was not totally for themselves, they hardly got to keep anything, yet, we were so happy, felt so rich and important for an instant.

Today, morning, my brother's cell phone beeped with a message - "Your salary has been credited for this month". Life just did not feel the same as it was before.

Where's time...

2007-02-03T20:14:00.000+05:30

Have you ever felt that your entire life was a dream, and when you wake up, you feel you have lost total track of time ? I don't know about the first part, but I have trouble with the second part. I lose track of date and time. I can't distinguish Saturdays from Sundays, a classic example of what excess holidays can do to you.

So, I'm waiting for my little brother to visit me on Saturday, when actually I have called him on Sunday. I send 'Good Night' messages at unearthly hours of the night (like 01:00 am). Valentine's Day seems months away. I feel like its been a year since I have seen my nephew. I feel like a school kid although I would have to register for Naukri.com in a few months.

School life was much different. We had to write dates everyday in the margins of our notebooks. Life was so much organized then. We actually knew what we were doing. Now, life just seems like a rush-hour traffic, if you are slow, you will be stuck in the signal forever.

So, please accept my humble apologies if you receive messages during mid-nights even after the dogs have slept. I have calendars and clocks stuck all over the house. I am improving.

Before - After

2007-01-31T19:38:00.000+05:30

Today's babies are a lot luckier. Just realized this, after I saw my new-born nephew. There's so much of difference between today's babies and the babies of 1984 (coz I was born then).

Like, today, babies get to choose between a range of diapers, coming in different packages, colours, maybe even tastes. There's strawberry flavored, there's pineapple, and maybe there's even a mango (although all flavors are gonna smell differently once its put into use). We, on the other hand, the babies of 1984, just managed with a torn dirty 'dhoti' belonging to our fathers and forefathers discarded by them after 25 years of use.

Today's kids are photo-graphed, and have their videos taken, which they can look at after they grow. Perhaps its good in a way, they can see how dirty they were, and learn to respect their mothers a bit. The 1984 babies hardly know how they were a few years back, forget videos, there isn't even a photo of my naming ceremony.

Today's kids are absolutely dirty. They shit where they sleep, or on whom they sleep, they answer nature's call in the form of a musical fountain, and they cry and cry and cry. The 1984 babies excused themselves respectfully, went into the bathroom, flushed, and even closed the toilet seat cover.

A lot of money is given to today's babies. Money - which means nothing more to them than tissue used to wipe their private parts. The money obviously goes to the parents who use it to buy more and more of tissue boxes, and some perfume to refresh the room's atmosphere. The babies of 1984 were given nothing, not even a handful of change, and even if someone gave something, we do not know about it. Right now, I maintain my nephew's finances, so he can be assured his money is not gonna go anywhere else.

Babies sleep a lot and cry a lot. They are placed in expensive cradles, made to wear branded clothing, which comes even with a fancy hat, mosquito-net is provided, toys are all electronic and mostly require 4 batteries to work, and everyone pampers and adores the little one. The 1984 babies were real survivors. Our cradle (if it can be called one) was made from a bunch of discarded bed-sheets and worn out ropes. No mosquito nets, we wore pieces of cloth, our toys were not costlier than a piece of a stick.

Inspite of all these facilities, babies today refuse to speak anything for almost an year. Perhaps they are shocked and speechless looking at all their amenities. They are dirty, they don't clean up their stuff, they don't walk properly, they cry, their noses run, and they are lazy. I am sure you wouldn't believe if I said I used to wake up at 5-30am every morning and do Yoga exercises, when I was hardly 4 months old. Ok, thats too much exaggeration, but the point is, the 1984 babies are the best when it comes to survival. Full stop !!

black Mail

2007-01-31T19:23:00.000+05:30

I really do post a lot of stuff that happens in and around our family. People would rather hear about Shilpa Shetty and her 'big brother', but who would want to read about me and my big brother ? Surprisingly, everyone does. When I talk about how my brother uses me as an exhaust pipe substitute for his car, everyone's interested. Not that they want to help me out, sue my brother, and get me compensation. They are just amused. My sad stories amuse people, that's the way society works today.

I never realized my potential. But I soon realized that I had a weapon. Its called 'Blogger'. This could work like magic. Here's how conversations would happen at home.

To brother: Pay me a fat pocket money or else I blog terrible stuff against you.

To dad: Get off the computer, or else I'll blog about how much money you have stuffed in the bank.

To mom: Make Pooris today, or else I blog a list of the mega-serials you watch.

I'm thinkin of buying some land near Devanahalli, with all the money I am gonna get from my brother. I'll ask dad to buy me a laptop, and mom shall prepare Paani puris everyday. Call it 'blackmail', or whatever you will, every dog has his day, and mine has just begun !!

Time - pass

2007-01-31T18:55:00.000+05:30

Although my father thinks otherwise, I have successfully completed 3 semesters of my post graduation. I deserve some time off studies, so our college decided to give a vacation of 40 days. Lots of my friends and cousins, (who by the way are busy with work and college) are pretty jealous, and always feel I don't deserve these many holidays.

Now who starts deciding what I do deserve ? If its my cousins, they'd probably want to see me locked up in a rusted dungeon with nothing to eat apart from mom's "Uppit" and some capsicum pieces as a sider (FYI - I hate Capsicum) !!

One question that I have always been asked, and is slowly getting very irritating is - no no, not about my marriage, that's pretty unsure (i wonder whether it will ever happen), neither about which political party i am gonna vote for (i seriously don't care, believe me, i am more worried about the latest mega-serials that are getting added into my mom's list). Its a simple question that makes me want to hit people with grenades - "How are you spending your holidays ?"

Now thats not even a question !! Holidays are the days when we are meant to be doing nothing. If we did something, they would be called "Work - days". And doing nothing is a very tough thing to do, that requires lots of dedication and focus. Ok, I admit I do some stuff. Read it here, and don't dare ask me again.

I keep track of mom's mega-serials. I know the in and out of each character, and I can predict what's gonna happen next.

I read novels. I have tried PG Wodehouse, John Grisham, Agatha Christie, RK Narayan and Robin Cook.

I clean my room. Seriously !! I have swallowed a bucketful of dust in the process.

I eat a lot. From Sankranthi left-overs to stuff I have stolen from the bakery.

I visit relatives. I make sure I stay for only one day, but I also make sure they prepare something delicious that I can carry home.

I over-sleep everyday. The thing I most love to do is tuck myself under the blanket just when my brother is leaving for office.

I blog. If I wouldn't, you would not be reading this.

I have left out a lot of stuff, ranging from washing clothes, to shopping and etc. I find 24hrs too less, my body would rather sleep for a couple more hours.

So this is what I do ... atleast until Feb 09 ... and then I have to start the usual program of dieting in time for Valentine's (Dad, if you are reading this, that was a joke ok) !!

My desktop !!!

2007-01-25T13:34:00.000+05:30

I have been enhancing the 'look and feel' of my desktop, and this is what I got ! Doesn't it look too good; but it won't last long; my brother is soon to come home, uninstall everything and make our computer look like it belonged to the Pre-Independence era !!

Dreams have wings !

2007-01-24T20:15:00.000+05:30

William Wordsworth defined poetry as the "spontaneous outflow of powerful feelings" !! However, in my case, poetry was seemingly more like an outflow of a whole load of trash, especially when I have had a hard day at college, or after a dog chased me when I was on my way to the hair saloon.

So, poetry has been a way for me to 'let go', 'release my tensions', and feel less suffocated. Just like how you throw up when you eat something you hate, to me, poetry is something that comes out when I have had a really bad day.

This one came out on such an instance, when our Zoology lecturer caught me for the 100th time laughing, and I continued laughing even though she was bombarding me with expletives, leading to a whole lot of complications. Its a letter of love, and disappointments, written by a boy, reflecting his life. No, no, not me, its got nothing to do with me ... I belong to one of those clans who believe "Jaane kyun log pyaar karte hain" !! I wrote this on 'Children's Day', probably an inappropriate time to be writing such things ... anyway here it is.

So you thought this is a letter of 'Love',
but life has become a lot different now.
You will now hear the story of a little boy's life,
who at such a young age wants a wife !

Studying was all that he did,
he was a very good boy since he was a kid.
And then at college he saw the lovely girls,
they were cute and smart, hairs in curls !

A girl at college had a crush on this guy,
and he thought she was like 'Aishwarya Rai' !
He began dreaming of engagements and wedding rings,
of course, dreams do have wings !

The girl was more to him than his life,
in a few days they would become husband and wife.
They say all good things come to an end,
the boy comes to know that she has yet another boy-friend.

The girl suddenly loses interest in her would-be,
in the way she acts, you can see.
Off-late by everybody it is spoken,
that the proposed engagement would be broken.

There are many more fish in the sea,
and in course of time you will see.
He shall indeed be seeing engagements and wedding rings
Because dreams do have wings !

Valentine's special

2007-01-24T20:02:00.000+05:30

You see ... most of the poems I write are in Kannada ... so I really don't know how to post them online ... but here's one I recovered from a dusty old book. I warn you ... its got nothing to do with me ... its not my story ... and any resemblances are purely co-incidental ... its about a failed love relationship ... the boy writes to the girl on Valentine's Day ... expressing his sadness ... surprisingly I wrote this on Feb 14th ... the Valentine's Day ... ain't I leading a pitiful life ... sitting and writing poems on that day ... when I have got to be doing something more romantic ... anyway ... here it goes !!

I had promised you something on Valentine's Day,
that with you I'd forever stay,
that for the rest of your life, I'd shower you with love;
But I hate to say this: "I break my promise now"

It was on a Valentine's, when we looked at each other like never before;
Its the same Valentine's, but the love is no more.
The warmth has faded, the closeness was never there;
Its too late to say it, but we could have made a good a pair.

Perhaps this relationship wasn't meant for us,
but what's the use now of making a fuss.
We can still remain friends all our life,
even after you find a husband, and me, a wife.

So wipe your tears and stay strong,
If you are depressed, I shall sing you a song.
This is all I could give you on Valentine's Day;
You had brought colour to my life, now its all grey !!

Train journeys...

2007-01-23T13:47:00.000+05:30

I become a little child when travelling in trains. I have always loved trains and railway stations. They are a world of 'magic' to me. Standing on the platform, and waiting for the train, the announcements, the sound of the train, its approach, its supremacy, blowing the wind against my face, the rush to board the train, and a "Phew !!" sound of relief, when we settle down on the seat next to the window ... its all an amazing journey. Its not just a journey, its a place of wisdom; from learning about how the signals work, to knowing the people sitting next to you - its a school in itself. From the rich guy in the next seat to the beggar ... each person is a walking book ... waiting to be read !!

I love the Bangalore - Hubli Intercity express ... coz its like a crash course ... you learn a lot ... and you reach your destination (in my case - Arsikere) very soon. This happened last week, when I was returning from Arsikere to Bangalore, aboard the Intercity.

There were 3 people sitting near me. One, whom we shall call as 'A' spoke a lot of philosophy. The second one, we shall call as 'B' , and he was a school teacher. The third would be 'C' and he repeated whatever 'A' and 'B' said.

'A' began talking about miracles ... the ones performed by 'sanyaasis' ... yeah yeah ... curing cancers with the touch of a finger ... producing watches out of thin air ... that kind !! He was particularly stressing on treatment of diseases, ones which even doctors couldn't. 'B' would often put his head down, as though he had done something wrong (like forgetting his wife's anniversary for a 100th time), while 'C' would repeat the last few words of whatever 'A' said.

'A' dominated the conversation for a long time, his talks ranging from the presence / absence of God, religion, caste system, relationship between the body and the soul and involving a whole lot of proverbs in between. 'B' was still looking lost (although he was a teacher), and 'C' continued smiling ... and continued repeating.

I was being a mute spectator all the while, not wanting to get myself buried under the volley of philosophies coming from 'A'. The train was fast approaching 'Tiptur'. Suddenly 'A' began talking about a school poem on 'Life and Death' ... 'B' agreed that he taught the same poem to his students, but unfortunately (and as usual) could not explain the same poem to 'A' and 'C'. 'A' hardly looked convinced, while 'C' began munching on a few peanuts.

The topic began shifting to 'Saddam Hussain' ... and immediately another person whom we will call 'D' joined in. He seemed more like a cartoon character, short and fat, but was pretty much aggressive when it came to criticizing Saddam. He was a Malayali, and so could not convey his opinions effectively. 'A' still dominated the conversation, and he also happened to look at Saddam as a great personality. 'B' looked confused, while 'C' supported both the views on Saddam. I thought of saying something, but swallowed my words ... the conversation needed a spectator.

Not being too happy about not being supported by 'D' over Saddam's issues, the philosopher 'A' shifted on again to the topic of life and death. He said "Shiva bittre manushya shava aagthaane" meaning - "If Shiva (the God) leaves your body, you will become a Shava (or a dead person)". At this, 'D' became so much impressed that he repeated those lines, and lifted his hand up several times gesturing appreciation. 'B' put his head down and smiled (probably at his pitiful situation) while 'C' was almost on the verge of clapping.

At Tumkur, 'B' bid everyone goodbye and walked off. He seemed to be hardly in this world. Now, 'A', 'C' and 'D' began arguing over the time the train would reach Bangalore. I was asked for an opinion, and I had to open my mouth (perhaps the three wanted to test whether I could talk). I agreed with 'D's opinion, at which 'A' looked very frustrated. He again began talking about God showing his presence everywhere. 'C' suddenly was tired and began drowsing off, while 'D' took over the responsibility of nodding his head. 'D' then excused himself saying he wanted to go to the bathroom, but he never returned (perhaps he threw himself off the moving train); tired from all the talking, 'A' opened a cover of 'Kadale Puri' ... I looked at the cover, with suspicion, what if he offers it to me, and what if he drugs me ... thankfully nothing of that happened ... 'A' gobbled at the Puri alone.

'C' opened his eyes for a second, and sensing that 'A' was preparing himself for another round of philosophy, covered his face with a handkerchief and slept off again. I had to get down at Yeswanthpur itself, and as I collected my bags, 'A' smiled at me. I smiled back.

Perhaps I won't meet any of these guys again for the rest of my life ... but the 2 hours I spent with them was so much fun ... each person carrying with himself an identity ... a uniqueness ... I have always loved train journeys ... they are a world of 'magic' to me !!

'Guru' the Movie

2007-01-16T17:20:00.000+05:30

Time - 9:30am. Venue - Garuda Mall. Presently in the parking lot. What the hell ? 10 bucks to park my fuel-sucking bike...and I just recently watched a movie for 19 bucks on a balcony seat.

Time - 9:35am. Venue - Still the same Garuda Mall. Wow!! Huge place. My first visit. I looked around with eyes wide open, just like how a baby looks at the world around it. People everywhere, mostly college guys and girls.

Girls .... oh so they are all here ... now I realize where all Bangalore girls had vanished ... they are not in R.T.Nagar anymore ... they are all here ... but where the hell is Inox ?? I follow a group of girls ... hey no assumptions ... I'm just hoping they'll lead me to the multiplex ... 1st floor ... 2nd floor ... 3rd floor ... 4th floor ... where the hell am I going ... I hope I won't fall off this scary escalator ... are they going to the terrace ... mass suicide ... love disappointments ? Oh here's Inox ... finally !!

Friends haven't come as yet ... I'm scared to touch anything ... everything looks expensive ... even that sweeper who's glaring at me ... ah here come my friends ... now I need to fear nothing ... oh this was supposed to be a movie review right ... Cool screen ... cool seats ... cool ... in fact ... its too cool or rather too cold ... ssshhh the movie's starting ...

A 1950s story ... cool east-man color effect ... nice start ... a villager ... goes to Istanbul to earn money, earns almost enough to start his own business ... the first half of the movie accelerates at good pace ... Abhishek looks good ... Aishwarya Rai (a bit of a setback after Dhoom, but she wasn't looking good in that anyway), decent performance.

But hey, hold on, this Guru bhai is growing at too fast a rate ... last I saw him in a small office, now he owns cars, in an instant he's building a factory, the next instant he's the entrepreneur of Shakti Group of Industries. Too fast, too fast, how the hell did all this happen ... ok lets assume he did a lot of illegal stuff, bribed government officials, did not pay excise duties on imports ... fine i'll buy this explanation, but would have been better if I was shown how Guru became a business tycoon so soon.

Mithun da ... looks good too ... old man, but looks good. Now, whats Vidya Balan doing in a wheel-chair ? Multiple sclerosis ? Hey c'mon, she looks so good, she needs to dance around like a little girl, not sit on a wheel-chair. Make Aishwarya Rai sit on a wheel-chair rather. Ok, summary of first half - Guru bhai, starts off as a villager, and grows to become a big business tycoon, how I'm not sure, Aishwarya is his wife (whom he marries for the sake of dowry), Vidya Balan can't walk, but she adores Guru bhai.

Interval time ... cool urinals ... they emit red lights ... I did a bit of a disco with my body fluids ... had to stop when the guy next to me frowned.

What ?????????????????????????????? Popcorn and coke costs 70 bucks ? Are you crazy man ? Is he importing his pop-corns from Zambia ? I ain't paying anything ... you get it ... I ain't paying anything !!

I get back to my seat ... coke and pop-corn in hand ... with a lighter wallet ... hey the girl next to me keeps kicking me ... get yer feet off me woman ... these are my new trousers ... uff she kicks me again ... I was about to pour my coke inside her nose, when the movie started.

Second half ... I must ask my little brother to watch this movie ... and my dad too ... Second half is a bit of a dragger ... unnecessary songs ... 2-3 songs are pretty good ... Rehman's music ... naaaah doesn't sound like Rehman ... enter Madhavan ... Vidya Balan's life partner ... journalist ... with only one aim ... get Guru bhai down ... Guru's irregularities are slowly exposed ... but Guru fights on ... he faces an enquiry ... talks about 'India shining' for about 5 minutes ... good dialogues ... movie comes to an end ... you can take everything from him ... but not his courage ... b'coz Guru fights on

The cinematography is excellent ... dialogues are good ... I loved Abhishek, he's got this simplicity in him, he ain't handsome, his rugged features and unblemished smile makes you connect with his character immediately, Aishwarya looks less plastic ... Vidya Balan is adorable ... Mithun da is good ... Madhavan ... hmmm ... not too strong ... he needed to be more stronger

But .... yeah ... here's the but ... the movie lacks details ... superficially it looks good ... do a bit of introspection, and you'll get a whole lot of doubts ... some characters are neglected and not given a proper finish ... some songs occur at unnecessary places ... neither his growth is explained properly, how he's caught is not dealt with properly, how he gets out of the noose unblemished I still don't understand ... Vidya Balan is totally wasted ... Madhavan and Mithun never make their appearances during the conclusion ... Rehman's music makes you feel cheated ... on the whole it fails to bring about inspiration ... the viewer is still left confused over which path to take ... I thought I'd emerge out of the theater with so much of 'josh' that I would open an anti-Biocon company right opposite Kiran Mazumdar's office, but I came out of the theater still cursing the pop-corn guy and the parking attendant. I have watched movies that create so much of motivation that I had dreamt of becoming a Nobel Prize winner over-night. This movie creates no such effect, and whatever it did create is way too temporary that lasts only until you walk down the corridor to the restroom.

This movie, had a potential to be directed much better (remember, this is ManiRatnam), so it disappoints you there. But the positives exist too. The shooting is done in Badami, Melkote, Chennai and parts of Turkey, and the cinematography as I said earlier is really good. I haven't so much revealed the story, as I want you to watch this movie. The story has been compared to Dhirubai Ambani's Reliance story ... I don't know how far thats true ... but one needs to understand the difficulties involved in being an entrepreneur ... the movie does no preaching ... it just shows that there are grey shades to every character ... but hard work eventually pays. Watch it once ... its a 'different' movie ... literally

My ratings: * * *

My story isn't over as yet ... I walked over to the food court ... ate some Bhel-puri ... some crazy guy sitting next to us began preaching about going abroad ... and getting true value for our hard-work there ... he also talked about how important it is to think about what we need to give our country right now ... there was truth in what he said ... he also talked about the mall-culture ... yeah talk about it man ... and talk about that pop-corn guy as well ...

I had a look around again ... hey who are these people ... whose money are they feasting on ... I need to bring my brother here ... there are school kids here ... if I ask for a heavier wallet, my bro would put stones into it ... anyway not a place you take your girlfriend to ... if Guru brought Aishwarya Rai here, she would reduce his huge group of companies into a foot-path stall ... do you know she bought 11 banaras saris for her marriage ... yeah I've been reading a lot of Times of India these days

Finally I walked out ... had a lot of trouble finding my bike ... such a huge place man ... where did that guy who stole my 10 bucks for parking, hide my bike ... ah there it was ... I sped off towards MG Road ... I hardly felt my wallet now ...

And oh yeah ... remember that girl who kept kicking me throughout the movie ... know what I did to her ... naah I did not pour coke into her nose ... that coke was costly dude ... I threw a pop-corn on her ... she kept searching for whatever that hit her ... I'm a happy guy now ... and oh yeah, the movie, go watch it, its an ok movie, you might like it ... just know what markets, shares, debentures are ... that will help you...

Happy Sankranthi

2007-01-14T18:26:00.000+05:30

Sankranthi, or Sankranti, is a festival that signifies the beginning of the harvest season for the farmers of India.

It is also called 'Makara Sankranthi', it is celebrated primarily in the states of Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh & Maharashtra. From this day onwards, the sun with respect to the earth starts moving towards North signalling the oncoming summer also called Uttarayana. The grand sire of Mahabharata - Bheeshmacharya, waited for this day to die and ascend to Brahmaloka.

This piece of information is for all those of you who believe festivals mean just loads and loads of food (that probably includes me too) ... there is indeed so much of Science in our festivals ... our
ancestors really ain't as dumb as we think they are ...

Wish you all a happy 'Sankranthi' ... may some sense prevail in you at least from today !!

Ideas of an Einstein

2007-01-14T17:58:00.000+05:30

They say ideas flash at the weirdest of places. Who's 'they' anyway ? 'They' can be anyone - poets, scientists, artists, general public, sometimes even babies say so many things that we hardly pay any attention to. Like, my little nephew told me, when I met him for the first time, that 'inflation is the major worry for this Govt. in an otherwise booming economy'. Ok ... it sounded something like that ... but thats not the point !!

You have heard of great men getting inspiration from weird sources, be it a mountain or a bird or an insect or an ocean. Few people have asked me where I get my inspiration from ... to start off, I see happy people out there ... people with good jobs ... lots of money ... a loving wife ... cute kids ... theirs is the perfect life ... they are my inspiration ... that's how I get the encouragement to blog ... I blog ... and destroy their life ... they are less happier ... my incessant trash talk upsets their otherwise stable mind ... they fight with their wives ... they hit their kids ... they lose their job ... I wonder why I haven't been arrested yet

I guess you know I used to write a bit of poetry (if I can call it one) ... I think of lines in the weirdest possible places ... the poetry I wrote when my brother came back from U.S was something that flashed to me in the loo ... literally ... lines began flowing ... like the flow of my ... never mind !!

Maths had been playing lots of games with me ... it brought equal amounts of happiness and sorrow to me ... when I was stuck in a problem ... I felt so agitated that I hit everyone around ... but the solution never struck me ... and then I slept ... looking at the rotating blades of the fan ... cutting the air at different angles ... there was so much Maths everywhere ... and suddenly the solution struck me ... at the middle of the night ... if I was complacent I would forget it again ...

A girl at tuition was hitting on me ... and I always thought she was being overly-warm ... it took a long walk back home to realize what was actually happening ...

I won the first prize for Creative writing for all 3 years in B.Sc ... and most of those ideas I got were when watching mom's mega-serials ... I write poetry for the birthdays of my cousins ... and all the ideas hit me when I watch little kids play.

Today's greatest wonders were yesterday's ideas ... that cropped up in someone's mind ... ideas don't come when you sit in a Library ... or near your study table ... they come up when you venture out ... when you see the setting sun ... the kids play ... or anything enjoyable like going to the loo !!

Mungaaru Male ...

2007-01-14T17:34:00.000+05:30

This is a movie review ... but I haven't seen the movie ... so I shouldn't really be giving a review ... but I am ... but its wrong ... its imperative that I watch the movie first ... but I haven't ... so where's the point ... actually my little brother Bharath has watched the movie ... so he has the right to give a review ... so this is actually his review ... the words that follow are his ... so here goes ...

"Well, I should tell you this first. I am really impressed by the movie. At least once in a year I could get to see some decent stuff from the Kannada film industry".

The theme, nothing fresh: Boy loves girl who is about to get married. Of course, boy doesn't know that. One thing that you like about this film is that the hero is totally open minded, he tells the heroine that he loves her right at the beginning (quiet different). She happens to be the daughter of his mother's best hubby. His mom takes him to their house for her marriage, but our hero doesn't know that. You might guess what could go on next, as usual.

The story is not that extra-ordinary, but Ganesh was superb. Actually, I expected the least from him. He suited the role wonderfully well - a talkative young man, always smiling, and making friends with whom he likes. The heroine is ok, partly b'coz most of the screen is covered by Ganesh. Anant Nag, Padmaja Rao (of Preethi Illada Mele fame, Raagini) were also good.

But the thing that catches you the most is the background score and the cinematography. There are some scenes shot in Jog - the most brilliant part of the film. You would be at the edge of yours seats - literally. Probably no one had dared to shoot there. They were at the brink of the biggest waterfall in India. Even a slight slip (it was raining too) could have meant a certain death. Kudos to the director and to the lead actors.

You enjoy the movie entire length as there is not a dull moment. Songs after the interval are good. Dialogues are good too.

The Western Ghats look just great. The film is said to be shot in real rain (for a change). Poor Ganesh might have run a high fever after the shooting. But the ending was quite disappointing. I won't tell you the ending as I want you to watch the movie. Its worth the money you spend on the tickets. I hope I have given a boost to the movie. Don't blame me after you see it, and not felt what I felt. Overall, its good.

Bharath's ratings: * * * *

Well ... there you go ... the movie seems to be good ... what sounds great is that there are 2 good Kannada movies worth watching - this one and 'Kallarali Hoovagi', whereas more and more of Hindi movies are finding themselves in the dustbin ... now this is something to be happy about !!

God...feed the hungry !

2007-01-12T13:00:00.000+05:30

If i say I'm a voracious eater, people roll on the ground and laugh. I eat little, and that actually means 'very little'. Bottom-line, I eat to survive.

I used to eat curd-rice without any siders, without pickles. I hated most dishes. I was wondering what chaats were until I was 15. Onion pakodas and bondas were a 'no-no'. Sweets were the only reason for my survival, and I was a bit choosy about them too.

Sometimes, in life, you experience a big change, apparently for no reason, but in my case, a change for the better. Some great philosopher said, "Before you change the world' change yourself". And I did, my tongue started welcoming all those things that it never had an affinity to.

Pickles (especially mango, and lemon) became my favorite, eating curd-rice alone would make me puke, almost every dish (even rasam and sambhar) became relishing, chaat stalls were my favorite hang-outs (imagine an atmosphere after rains, with masala puris in hand), paani puris and sev puris made me go weak in the knees, onion pakodas and mangalooru bajjis made me go nuts, and sweets made me melt. I ate 9 jamoons one after the other once, but I still could eat 20 more, if it was not for my empty wallet. Call it an addiction, coz it really is one, I dare to keep on eating, coz I don't seem to bloat up anymore, the weather's way too cold, and I always find company coz nobody can resist free treats.

Of course, there are still a few things that do not fail to make my life worse - capsicum (yuck !!), potatoes and more weird-looking vegetables (the weirder they look, the more my dad feels like buying them). I had recently been to my mom's native place, and it seemed that the main purpose of visit was exploiting the mouth relishing treats in and around the town.

Zero exercise coupled with an addiction to always eat, what do you get ? Yes, a permanently pregnant feeling. I hope I don't reach that stage. The great Greek philosopher Aristotle once said in 1880 that "I feel like eating Pani puris right now !!" Ok, i'm not too sure he said that, but surely he would say it, coz I'm saying it right now. All this blogging has made me hungry, and I need to go eat some Oh-so-tasty-pani-puris right now !!

What's in a name ...

2007-01-12T12:35:00.000+05:30

They say History repeats itself. Today, names like 'Gowri' and 'Lakshmi' are catching up. A few years back, they were called apt names for cows and buffaloes. There's a 'Swarna Gowri' and a 'Honnarathi Gowri' amongst my relatives. Even mythological names and names pertaining to seasons & music ragas are sought after.

My parents did not name me from the starting letter of 'A', coz then I would have to face oral exams first (we are usually called in the alphabetical order). In fact, it helps me even today, coz my practical batch falls almost last, and I know what to expect. I wasn't too happy with my name initially though, but ever since I got a few compliments about it, my name suddenly became special to me.

I have got a friend, she is called 'Devyani', and she had two brothers, 'Karthikeya' and 'Pradhyumna', sounds more like people from the medieval age.

People have a bad habit, they cut down long and nice names into short ugly ones. Thats another thing you need to care about, there should be no possibility of cutting down the actual name.

One thing I discovered was the fact that its easier naming a baby girl, there are so many pretty names around, for the little guys, it needs a bit of research.

Some names are weird. Like there's a 'Pooja' almost in every street, 'Soumyas' are never silent, and perhaps the most amazing names I have heard is in our juniors' batch of M.Sc. There's a girl called 'Elektra' and her brother is called 'Atom'. Now thats shocking !!

In Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet, Juliet says (speaking about Romeo, because of the tension between their families),

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

Shakespeare is revealing the boundaries of the term name here. He proposes that a rose would still be a rose; in other words, the name does not matter. However, at the same time he is showing us the importance of names, as for one thing - the names are what the plot is about.

Yeah...there's so much in name...a thing thats belongs to you...but mostly used by others...in my case...probably by the principal !!

He's here...finally !!!

2007-01-11T14:14:00.000+05:30

Yes !! Its a fully - loaded, baby boy. He's my nephew and the little fellow is awesome !!

We share the same blood group, the same weight at birth (thats 2.7Kgs) and the same levels of gorgeousness. He seems to emulate Himesh Reshammiya when he cries, he curls up his fingers as though he's holding a mike, and he sleeps like a log.

He's certainly a reflection of me, when I was his age. We are wondering about his name though, any suggestions ?

Digital me !

2007-01-05T18:29:00.000+05:30

When its winter everywhere, there's spring here !! You can check out a few photographs I have clicked ... photography ... a dying passion ... which I'm trying hard to save
You can also access this link anytime from the 'links' section

http://new.photos.yahoo.com/a_ksuhas/album

The New year bAby

2007-01-05T18:05:00.000+05:30

Few people know this...few people don't. My record sheets are gonna be all wet, my house is gonna be dirty, smelly, stinking. Crying can be heard in the middle of the night, and waste sheets of paper would be in high demand. You might be assuming that I have an acute problem of wetting the bed.

You wish !! My sister-in-law's gonna gift me a little child, that's gonna come out anytime now, and that'll be the dirty, smelly, stinky, weepy, and yet the cutest baby that our house as ever seen (after my birth, that is) !!

The first question everyone is bound to ask is, 'is the baby a he or a she' !!

Thats the million dollar question everyone wants to ask, but the answer, I don't know, neither does my brother, or my sister-in-law or the doctor. The baby knows the answer but it doesn't care, it just wants to stay warm wherever it is.

Now one of my uncle says its gonna be a 'male', the other uncle, who happens to always have an opposite view says its surely gonna be a 'female'. I think and crave for a little 'princess', but my cousin 'Chaitra' thinks its gonna be a 'prince' for sure. In our case, the loser has to take the winner out to a costly restaurant. Most of the older gen ladies, who are pretty much tired of giving birth to 'n' no. of ungrateful children say any child is ok as long as the delivery happens smoothly.

Either way, my brother is gonna appoint me to clean out the baby's dirty stuff, so I really shouldn't care, but the suspense remains. This whole 'giving birth' thing is so beautiful, we guys never get to experience it (thankfully ?).

So lets play the waiting game, keep watching this space !!

Once upon a time...

2007-01-05T17:37:00.000+05:30

I don't remember listening to any stories told by my grandparents, more so because they had passed away or were very ill when I was a little kid. Most of the stories they say I believe, are crap, but plays an essential role in building the character of a little child, whose mind is like wet clay...it can be shaped into anything you like.

My dad used to tell me some of these stupid 'Panchatantra' stories...but they used to be more interesting than Steven Spielberg's movies.

Mom used to sing most of the time, and somehow I wasn't too happy to let her sing. And brother, he's a comedy story himself !!

The kids I see today are better, they get to live with their grandparents. I'm often troubled by my cousins asking me to narrate stories to them at a very unearthly hour of the night. Now, I'm no good story teller, but I tend to add a bit of weird sense of humor to it, which perhaps the parents would oppose, but the kids tend to like them. Whats important here is not to build characters, but to ensure that the child shuts up for sometime.

I often narrate stories that have been stolen from English movies. From 'The Da Vinci code' to 'Darna Mana Hai', from 'There's something about Mary' to 'Dhoom', I've spared no story. Books are my favorite too, my cousins have been lucky enough to listen stories written by Dan Brown, Stephen King and even Sidney Sheldon. So, although they think I'm saying crap, I'm actually narrating some of the greatest works ever written.

'Evil Dead' stories used to be my favorite, but then I realized that the kids need to hear something more appropriate. Thats when I began inventing stories. 'Kadalekaayi Kittappa' has been my character, created, much like Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes. 'Kittappa' is a simple peanut-vendor who, due to his outstanding intelligence, reaches such great heights that he is able to shake governments and take over countries. The story is too far fetched, and at times, my cousins even have poked my eyes in anger. But, it still remains their favorite. 'Kittappa' is not just associated with power and money, he is also associated with all those disorders which you get when you eat excess of peanuts, so often, this amuses the kids.

I have used vegetables like onions and tomatoes as my characters, I have made Lord Ganesha into an allopathic surgeon, I have narrated desi versions of Shakespeare's 'Merchant of Venice', in other words, I have given these kids an exposure to some of the greatest poets, artists, dramatists, and directors.

Perhaps, what the kids love most to hear, is my stories of college. From infatuations, to dating someone, from pranks, to me getting screwed by the principal, they love them all. I guess they are ecstatic to hear about how a very normal-looking Suhas would have been in weird situations such as 'standing in the princi's chamber', or 'asking out someone on a date'. Today's kids understand everything, it feels like they have heard it and seen it all, its easy to communicate with them, and thats why perhaps, I can easily mix with everyone, of all ages.

Story telling is never easy. Its too difficult to continuously capture the minds of your audience for a long time. They can get easily bored, you have to keep providing sparks to ensure they are listening to you, and they should be able to laugh at your jokes, as well as learn a thing or two. Moral stories are a thing of the past, with a little bit of polishing, you can turn horror stories into stories that come with a message. I'm not a master at it, but I keep trying.

One day, I'd love to write a book on 'Kadalekaayi Kittappa', he lives because of me, he's brought laughter to so many kids, he deserves to be on paper. Lets see..how things work out...is a publisher listening...

Jothe Jotheyali

2007-01-02T23:40:00.000+05:30

I fear giving reviews for Kannada movies ... people hardly watch them ... I don't want to be responsible for chasing those few people away from the theaters. But to say the truth, this movie does not deserve any kind of a review.

The movie is all about saving a dying marriage. Characters are few, but none are worth watching. Ramya fails miserably in her acting skills or the lack of it. She speaks a mix of North Karnataka and Mysorean accent, and adds to a lot of discrepancies in the movie. Prem shouts more than he talks, and is a terrible dancer. The comedy makes the entire audience burst out crying. Terrible direction, the theme seems to have been picked out from a pile of flop movie scripts stuffed in a garbage can. Songs are ordinary, Shreya Ghosal and Chaitra have wasted their voices for a movie that is a good contender for the worst movies ever made competition. There are absolutely no positives in the movie, its badly directed, my rating would be just * (poor)

New year ... new ishtyle

2007-01-02T19:28:00.000+05:30

Putting it flatly, my new year celebrations have been dreary. Television programmes put up vain attempts to make you laugh ... friends are too far off for access ... its the same old 'musical chair' games outside ... ladies especially are ruthless when it comes to playing this game ... they think its kind of a world cup ... so either me or the chair has to bear the brunt of their power.

I have to just put up a sordid attempt to wake up till 12am, wish everyone at home ... to me new years were nothing special ... the only different thing was, that I had to make sure I wrote '2007' in the 'date' columns of my records.

This time would have to be different. I wouldn't want to punish myself with yet another 'musical chair', and I decided to flee. To my cousins' place ... at Arsikere ... a prominent town ... Hassan district.

It was a pleasant Dec 31st evening. My uncle disrupted my digestive system ... he makes me eat food thats enough for an entire family ... I could hear all the 'idlis' rolling from small intestine to big intestine ... I needed a walk. The Railway station is a popular hang-out ... trains have always fascinated me ... and an evening on a railway platform is more lovely than it sounds. It was almost dark ... Nikhil (little brother), Chaitra (little cousin), Madhuri (the angry cousin), Sudhanva and Kavya - all ranging in ages from 11 to 16 walked with me towards the chaat corner ... paani puris ... that was the main reason I had come to Arsikere ...

It was almost 8pm ... we slowly walked home ... I was wondering ... what would the night be like ... There was a horrible Kannada movie (Jothe Jotheyali) at Venkateshwara theatre ... my cousins were ready ... I was ready ... we were to spend the new Years watching a horrible movie. Chips and chewing gums in hand ... we walked to the theatre ... 19 bucks for a seat in the balcony ... the movie was more worse than I had expected ... Ramya is a bad actress ... full stop ... enter Darshan Tugdeep ... enter the longs and chains ... was a bit of entertainment ... dull songs ... the movie finally came to an end at 11-45pm ... suddenly everyone pounced on me for taking them to an atrocious movie ... I thought I was a responsible guy ... but never thought I would be held responsible for every bad thing that happens ... we slowly walked home.

We hadn't even eaten dinner ... there was nothing at home ... we walked to the railway station again ... thinking we might get some hot idlis to munch ... at 12am ... it was pretty cold ... it was January 1 2007 ... what a new year ... what a celebration ... strangers began walking upto us ... they were wishing us ... funny ... people unite at times of adversity or celebrations ... hungry ... tired ... shivering ... we walked back ... somehow again I was being targetted ... why is the most handsome guy always blamed ...

A man dying of thirst sees an ice-cream parlor in the desert ... we saw something like that ... a bakery ... it was not a mirage ... it was a new year gift ... we picked up a few pineapple cakes ... hugged each other ... and greedily ate it up ... we also did not fail to wish the police-men who patrolled the area ... the cake was nothing for these Arsikere cousins of mine ... they can devour a hippopotamus and still feel hungry ... but the excitement had begun to fizz out ... we reached home ... tucked ourselves warmly under blankets ...

I could still hear an occasional munching sound ... Chaitra and Nikhil endowing themselves some 'Churmuri' ... I did not fail to grab my percentage ... we talked for a long time ... cell phone kept beeping ... wishes kept pouring in ... I missed 2 of my little brothers the most ... at that time ... Bharath and Sumanthu. I was to leave for Bangalore the next day ... that was a deep depression ... but I also did feel like coming back home ... home pitch is where you feel most comfortable ...

I wouldn't say this was my best new year ... after watching that movie ... I certainly couldn't .... my brothers were missing ... my sister Neha was missing ... but I escaped from fighting for the chair with the muscular ladies ... that was the most important part ... I have decided ... new years next time are gonna be strictly with friends or cousins ... not the next door ladies ... they are bad women ...

New year . . . its here

2007-01-02T19:03:00.000+05:30

I hate wishing for New Years. Its so obvious. Its the only thing everyone say these days. New Years give you false hopes that things will get better than it was last year. Moreover, our new year falls on 'Ugadi' ... but anyway ... I have had a great 2006 ... so many things happened that affected my life in innumerable ways ... and I'm all the more happy that so many things are about to happen in a few days to come ... so here it goes ... have a very Happy New Year !!!

cBox

2006-12-22T18:33:00.000+05:30

The great Mahatma Gandhi once said "A blog cannot survive without feedback" !!

Can you see a classic blue rectangular box in the sidebar at the left. Its just below my photo.

Yeah ... thats your space ... something called as a c-box ... do you want me to change the template ... the background ... have you found some post hilarious ... or boring ... anything you want to share ... just type in the message box ... fill in your name ... and you are done

Looking forward to your suggestions ...

Reflections of a lack of creativity

2006-12-22T13:43:00.000+05:30

Its believed that the first words I said, when I was born was not "Amma" or "Appa" ... but rather I said "What a sublime world !!" Thus began the era of the greatest poet that had ever set foot on this earth. My poems and articles have always been rejected by school and college magazines, because it has always been beyond their understanding. In fact, once William Shakespeare had said "It takes another Suhas to understand Suhas' poetry" !! Don't think too much ... just believe what I say.

So these are just a few of the poems I have written ... a few selected ones ... sometimes they have got me into trouble ... sometimes they have saved my ass (pardon me !) Read on ... but do not attempt plagiarism ... that is against the law of this land !!

Big brother returns ! ! !

2006-12-22T13:33:00.000+05:30

Dated: 03 Jan 2005

Big brother had gone to U.S.A for 2 months ... and was bound to return on Jan 04th ... the flow of creativity had begun ... what started off as a smooth flow became a flood ... and I came out with this short poem ... a return shock I can say !

Here it goes...

Here's a short poem for you,
I thought about it when I was in the loo !
You can call this, 'a message of love',
the details of which you'll read now.

You were out there in Chicago City;
Here, I was getting bored with Mr. Kitti !! (i.e. my dad)
You were out there enjoying New York;
whereas here I had no one to talk.

Now you are back and we will have fun,
soon after college, home I'll run.
If you are tired, go take a rest;
And with the chocolates, I'll make a fest !

They say love increases when you are far;
Our area is now getting tar !!
You might read the last stanza and whine,
I'm sorry I could not think of any other line !!

To Sir with love ! ! !

2006-12-22T13:23:00.000+05:30

Dated: 16 Nov 2004

This was in my 2nd year of B.Sc. Ravindra - our Chemistry lecturer ... who is Mr. Cool all the time ... suddenly had lost his temper ... and walked out of the class in a huff ... we were responsible for it ... and we had to fix it ... this poem did it all ... he had to smile in the end ... after all nothing can be more bad than my poems !!!

Here it goes...

This is a message to our Sir, with love,
we don't want to spoil our relationship now.
We have had so much fun with chemicals and gas,
and we spoiled it all by being mischievous in class !!

You were new to us this year,
you teach us well, loud and clear.
Though we bunk all classes and run,
your class is educative as well as fun.

But Wednesdays really make us hungry;
Our disturbances has definitely made you angry.
We promise that we'll be more serious at college,
after all, more than fun, we need knowledge !!

Exams are only 2 months away,
and all we have is just 3 words to say,
"We are sorry" we say, the Karnataka boys,
please forgive us for making so much noise !!

Dreams ! ! !

2006-12-22T13:12:00.000+05:30

Dated: 06 Sep 1999

This poem was for the school magazine ... it was rejected outright ... but it still lies in one of my old dusty files ... that was when I discovered I could torture people with my poetry ... its about getting weird dreams

Here it goes...

We all have had some delicious dreams,
of pizzas, burgers and ice-creams.
But I had this strange dream one night,
Oh ! What can I say about my plight ?

Fast asleep though I was, I felt a tap,
and there I saw Yamraj sporting a cap !
The cap said "Where there's a wife, there's a life",
I did not have one, so he had brought his knife

"Your end is near", laughing he said,
and dragged me out of my bed.
He said "I'll now take you to a marriage choultry,
and get you married with pigs and poultry" !!

"Please don't do that", crying I said,
He bellowed, "In that case, off with your head"
My head flew, my body stood where it was,
blood oozed out, like Kisan Tomato Sauce

I woke up to find myself below the bed,
sitting next to me, mom stroked my head.
With fear and embarrassment, out I ran,
mom said, "I'll get you a wife as fast as I can" !!

I'm back !!

2006-12-15T14:56:00.000+05:30

I welcome myself back ... knowing for a fact that none of you would welcome me. It feels good to be here ... good to start posting again ... good to hear you scream "Oh No !! He's back so soon"

Check your mailboxes ... they'll have only my messages in them ... I'll even haunt you during sleep ... I'll be everywhere. You know who I am right ? Its me Suhas !!

Don...and the Queen Khan

2006-12-15T14:34:00.000+05:30

Have you watched the older version of Don ? Would you like to see Amitabh's role played by a person whose gender is questionable ? Yeah...I'm one of those few who have watched Farhan Akhtar's Don and survived the ordeal. This movie does not deserve a review. The movie tries to enthrall you with one line - "Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin, na mumkin hai". I'd rather make it into "Don ko dekhna mushkil hi nahin, na mumkin hai"!!

Kareena Kapoor compared with Helen ? No comparisons...Helen is a character, Kareena is a Tata Sumo. Priyanka Chopra looks good...as usual. Isha Koppikar............no, can't compare her with Zeenataman.....no way !!

I happened to go to this movie with a little short-tempered cousin of mine. She now thinks I purposely took her to this movie, because I hate her.

SRK does not have the character, seriousness or the right gender to become a don !! This movie sucks too !!

Dhoom machale...not really !!

2006-12-15T14:09:00.000+05:30

The racers are back again. The posters look stunning !! Dump the bond, its time for our power-packs ... its time for Dhoom !!!

My cousin Bharath gave a terrible review to this movie. I decided not to watch it. Then, Bipasha came in my dreams and asked me to watch it.

Evening show, Cauvery theater.

As the movie started off, I realized how wrong my cousin was. This was good stuff. Hrithik looked too good. His body looks so much like mine !! The heists he carried out were exciting to watch. Look more rationally and you'd call it 'crap'; but Hindi movies are not to be watched by those with a rational bent of mind.

Rimi Sen was a wasted character and I was thankful for that. Hey, where are the chicks ? Enter Bipasha, wow !! If police girls were really like this, I would have dumped Biotechnology and become a constable. More heists. This is a digestible movie. Why didn't my cousin like it ? Was he being over-critical ? And where the hell is Aishwarya ?

Enter Aishwarya !! Now the movie starts...or does it really ?

Aishwarya does not look good in the movie...full stop...end of discussion. Bipasha looks much better. Fine...Ash has shed her fat...but she does not look good. Enter Aishwarya and enter boredom. The movie comes to a stand still. No movement. Becomes a mega-serial. Weird things start happening. Location shifts to Brazil. Colorful Brazil. Yet another Bipasha here. Double acting ? But why ? And when is the next heist ? All everyone does is eat, sing and party. Hey, where's the theme ? Who cares....party without reason.

Finally...the last heist. Hey Aishwarya, who's side are you on ? She seems to change sides just like how she changes her boyfriends !! A bit of action...yeah...now we are seeing some good stuff...that's what you think...until you see the stylish charming Hrithik as a cook in a restaurant. What happened to the story ? Well, the director never promised us a story, did he ?

This movie is goofed up. Why are the Mumbai police on vigorous search for a criminal who has stolen antiquities in other countries, and has never entered Indian soil ? How does Hrithik survive ultimately ? The second half is way too horrible. Aishwarya bores us to death, Bipasha is wasted, Uday Chopra offers some compensation (coz of his clown acts), Abhishek looks nothing special, and Hrithik is the only prize you get for watching this movie. He looks good, and he has a unique charm he carries with him. The movie's messed up...and after the interval, you can see everyone in the theater moaning, children crying, adults crying, women scolding their husbands.

Yet another Hindi movie goes down the drain. And oh yeah, my cousin was right, this movie sucks !!

Casino Royale

2006-12-15T13:54:00.000+05:30

I guess its too late to give you a review coz you would have already seen the movie. I don't know whether you regretted your decision, but I did not. I am happy I watched the movie because I now know and can say for sure that Daniel Craig does not carry the Bond-flamboyancy in him.

Can we call this a Bond movie if:
1) James Bond looks like Pierce Brosnan's father
2) There are no high-tech gadgets in the movie at all
3) Action scenes are reduced to just three
4) The movie is not too far-fetched

Pierce Brosnan had the charm. He wore a black suit when he drove a tanker across streets of Russia chasing the villain. He was stylish. Sad, Daniel Craig looks too old already. What's an Asten Martin with no missiles fitted in it ? And what's a Bond movie with hardly any action scenes in it. Bond looks a sorry character when he falls in love. He is too realistic. He cannot be James Bond.

The story is supposed to be derived from Ian Fleming's first novel. The accent of Daniel Craig is too bad. Except a couple of scenes, the viewer has just to sit, wait and watch, and expect that something big would happen anytime now. This continues until the viewer realizes the movie is over, and he has to face the big traffic jam just outside the theater now. I expected our own desi Dhoom 2 to be much better. The movie is not only boring, it doesn't excite you at all, the actress Eva Green looks good only on few occasions, and overall, its not a must-see.

My rating: ** 1/2 (average)

Story of a cell-phone

2006-12-15T13:23:00.001+05:30

It takes a lot of time for me to adapt to fast-changing lifestyles. When the entire world was bidding good riddance to Britney Spears and her falling marriages...I began to realize that her songs are good to hear. I have seen people faint when they come to know that I haven't ever seen Bryan Adams...let alone hear his songs. By the time I begin to talk about Shakira and her hip-dances, she perhaps would have passed away.

I got a Nokia 1100 whereas today's kids believe that it was a cell-phone used by Neanderthal man. I never needed a cell-phone until I realized I was missing lots of classes. At college, time-sense is really bad. Lecturers schedule classes by just sending an sms to a few students before their bed-time and expect them to be present at the scheduled time next day. I would walk stylishly to college, neatly dressed, oiled and combed hair, only to realize I have missed 2 classes already.

Our Head of Department was really proud of me for not possessing a cell-phone. She said I was a very rare item, an antiquity, a museum-piece. Yeah....right !!

I explained my pitiful state to my brother and sister in law, who finally realized it was time for me to walk around with a cell-phone. "777 messages a month. Thats' huge, what would I do with so many messages?" I said looking at my Hutch Plan. The following month, I had exhausted all messages, with still 2 weeks to spare. Those were terrible 2 weeks I spent.

I get all sorts of messages. What am I expected to do when my cell wakes me up at 6 am and all I see is a good morning message which also goes onto say some crap stuff about life and goals and success and friendship. Friendship and love messages are pathetic, coz its forwarded without any changes to millions of people. "Pass this onto 12 people and you'll get good luck. Do not neglect" messages are even more disgusting, and those people who actually do it need to be shot at sight !! If our futures would be decided by sending sms(es), why are all my friends who send such messages still single (when the sms makes romantic promises) ?

But this cell-phone thing is a part and parcel of life. Its a pet. Comes with you wherever you go to. Sometimes it is too noisy, sometimes it sits silently. Glare at it for a long time and you are sure to get some message (its worked for me several times). I still do not know my cell number; I owe a lot to these phones coz it bought me a first date. Lets see what wonders this phone would do !!

Plan your trip well; Courtesy - Suhas

2006-11-08T19:57:00.000+05:30

Going on a trip ? Or planning to ? Why bother to browse through Indian Tourism websites, and moan and groan about not getting the right information. Here are some of my adventures, with a detailed trip report, including distances between places, places worth visiting, time needed to be spent there, and some tips to make your outing a tension-free one !! You can also see these links in the 'Super Hyperlinks' section, in the frame at the left

http://karavali-trip.blogspot.com - Karnataka's Coastal Circuit

http://south-indian.blogspot.com - A trip to Tamil Nadu & Kerala

http://mumbaidarshan.blogspot.com A trip to Mumbai

http://dharmasthala.blogspot.com - Dharmasthala outing

http://mega-trip.blogspot.com - A family coastal adventure

http://thenilgiris.blogspot.com - An Ooty trip

Kabhi alvida na Kehna

2006-10-09T19:22:00.000+05:30

Hold on....don't become happy so soon...my blog won't be closed...the setting sun just depicts that its gonna be darkness for a while...but the sun will rise and shine again...bringing back life on this beautiful earth !! Exams, assignments, vacations, and I need a break from blogging. So miss me for a while, and try not to cry too much !! Bye bye

I win !!

2006-09-13T20:20:00.000+05:30

For all those people wondering whether I managed to get 100% in the attendance report for the month of August, here's some bad news. I did it !! Achieved the impossible !!

But the irony of the situation was that I was absent the next day to hear our Head of Department annouce this achievement in class. Want to know what my attendance is like for the month of September ? It is something around 40%. Naayi baala donku (The dog's tail can never be straightened) !!

Is this really me ?

2006-09-13T20:10:00.000+05:30

Out of sheer curiosity, I typed 'Suhas' in Google Image Search, and waited for the results. The picture you see above is what I got. I know I can mess things up at times, but I do think there are better ways to describe me. Weird !!

Nature's fury

2006-09-13T16:50:00.000+05:30

Date: September 7 2006. Venue: Our house. Situation: Bad.

We were on house-arrest. Literally. Previous night rains. Tree fell. Brother waiting to go to office. Me waiting to go to college. Dad waiting to go on a routine inspection of the storm water drainages.

It took more than 3 hours for those Corporation guys to come over. Nothing damaged. Just locked in. The tree was completely uprooted. Anyone know what tree that is ?

Back to the past

2006-09-13T16:45:00.000+05:30

I don't exactly remember when I started blogging. Sometime in the late 2005.

I was more of a web designer at first. My brother Sharath taught me some stuff. Although he gloated about how all credit goes to him, yet, I learnt a lot of Microsoft Frontpage on my own. Most of my web pages promised endless fun, action, drama, for an unlimited period of time. I never updated the pages after the first week.

Eventually, the web hosting guy got fed up of me, and kicked me out. Web pages I designed during my college years got me some exposure, but that too died as fast as it was born.

Blogging was something more suited for people like me. And Sharath - "I don't give you any credit for this". A few of my friends groan when they see my name on their inbox. "Oh No, not another blog update" they cry. At times, I feel like giving this up too. And then there are these people who tell me they 'actually' read what I write, and they seem to think its ok. That pulls me up again. So, this is just a note of gratitude to all those who help to keep this blog alive. I promise you endless fun, action and drama for an unlimited period of time. That doesn't sound so good, does it ?

Jai Ganesha

2006-08-26T21:02:00.000+05:30

Yellarigu Gowri-Ganesha habbada shubhaashayagalu
Warning: Please prevent water pollution

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'Me' : The story of a loser !!

2006-08-26T20:57:00.000+05:30

I have ceased to be this 'son' that every parent wished they had. My brother won't talk to me anymore. My friends think I'm a disgrace to the nation. My cousins have separated me from their group. My seniors think I don't deserve to live. Dogs chase me wherever I go. I'm doing something very terrible. Something for which there is no forgiveness. I'm on the verge of achieving 100% attendance at college, for the month of August.

I'm a goodish-boy. I've maintained a decent percentage always - something around 80%. But a 100% is what I am aiming for this month. This is my first. One of my dreams I've set on achieving before I leave this planet Earth forever. I do know that for a few days, life would become difficult. 100% attendance = A LOSER!! At least that's what most of them think. But with such a good percentage, I also get the liberty of bunking classes for the remaining months of this semester. There are still a couple of days left, and I hope I can make it there. To the land of the geeks, and back. That's my dream!!

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To head...with love !!

2006-08-23T18:52:00.000+05:30

Our Head of the Biotechnology Department is weird. I shouldn't say that...but still...she's weird. From our first semester of M.Sc, she is chasing us up and down corridors, into classrooms, laboratories, vehicle parking areas with only one question - "Are you having any problems ?" The gents toilet is the only place she hasn't ventured into, I guess. She is bent on hearing out our problems, and bent on solving them immediately. Problem is, there aren't enough problems to keep her busy.

First, we complained about the deficiency of books in the library. Within a few days, we find so many huge foreign editions, that we ended up confused regarding the book to refer, and we ended up going home empty handed unable to carry those huge books. Then, a few of them sincerely complained that the library timings weren't good enough. From the next week onwords, the poor librarian had to keep his door open until 7pm, inviting the 'supposed to be' sincere students, who eventually never turned up. Everyone were safe and soundly sleeping on their beds at 4-30pm.

But our H.O.D wasn't satisfied. She wanted to hear more complaints. A few complaints against lecturers started pouring in. A few of them were removed, a few began teaching B.Sc, and the remaining few got warnings. Our H.O.D wasn't satisfied. She never will be. We complained about our windows not having curtains, our doors not having handles, we began ordering our lecturers to 'strictly' use black markers for their transparencies, finally someone even complained that our H.O.D herself ain't teaching good enough, and that she was too fast. She was thrilled. A complaint against herself. What could be more satisfying ? She solved all our problems in the blink of a second.

We began listing out more requirements - push back seats for us, cool-drink refrigerator in the laboratory that was always filled with energy drinks, swimming pool, amphitheatre, disco...that list never reached her. If it had, probably all that would have happened too.

This post is in no way meant to mock our poor little H.O.D. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. She's dynamic, a decision-maker, appreciates every little thing we do, and she cares for us. She is running around all day solving our problems, whereas we sleep over our seats, and throw complaints at her the moment she requests us to do so. When the head is in good working condition, the rest of the body is perfect too. With such a great Head of our department, what do we need to worry about.

Fine...I need to go...my brother's not buying me new clothes, and I need to go complain to our H.O.D...my dad snores a lot, need to tell that too, and our street dog isn't eating properly, maybe she can help...and the gas stove's leaking...and the water tank too...and the.....